Do you think my boyfriend is gay/bi?

[TX-Beau]

Sorry, I didn't mean that all gay men are like that. I'm just saying it's not obvious that he's attracted to other males. Male or female/straight or gay, I think most of the time you can get a feel for the type of person someone's interested in based on who catches his or her eye out in public if you're paying attention.

OK never listen to anyone who says "straight acting," (as if there ever was such a thing.) Gay guys who call themselves that have issues, and aren't dating you anyway. And yes there are gay guys who love judy and the glitter and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. That wasn't aimed at you, it was aimed at all the gay guys who like to imply that gay men who love the fabulous are somehow lesser or to be explained away. Fuck that.

Your boyfriend is either a lying gay bastard, or a touchy feely straight guy, or maybe he's bi and more in love with the guy than you.

No one in here knows, no one in here will ever know. You won't know until you ask - an then YOU have to decide if you trust him or not. Aside from you cathing him with a cock in his ass, straight and gay and bi guys come in all configurations, so we can't really say. AND yes, this is a question of what you are willing to put up with, if you never confront, you will never be able to make an informed choice.

I think you already have an answer, but are looking to find either confirmation or negation - the only thing that matters is that if this is percolating in your mind you'll never be happy - and you deserve to be happy, and maybe you won't get the answer you want, and maybe you won't believe the answer you get, but in any event, you probably need to step back from this for awhile and see which way he jumps.

There is an old saying in the gay community - the wife always knows, she usually just doesn't want to hear it...

Is that you? I don't know, but you are talking to the wrong people.

 

[TX-Beau]

OH and WELCOME! Stick around, we can always use more diversity in here.

 

[QuickQuestion]

OK never listen to anyone who says "straight acting," (as if there ever was such a thing.) Gay guys who call themselves that have issues, and aren't dating you anyway. And yes there are gay guys who love judy and the glitter and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. That wasn't aimed at you, it was aimed at all the gay guys who like to imply that gay men who love the fabulous are somehow lesser or to be explained away. Fuck that.

Your boyfriend is either a lying gay bastard, or a touchy feely straight guy, or maybe he's bi and more in love with the guy than you.

No one in here knows, no one in here will ever know. You won't know until you ask - an then YOU have to decide if you trust him or not. Aside from you cathing him with a cock in his ass, straight and gay and bi guys come in all configurations, so we can't really say. AND yes, this is a question of what you are willing to put up with, if you never confront, you will never be able to make an informed choice.

I think you already have an answer, but are looking to find either confirmation or negation - the only thing that matters is that if this is percolating in your mind you'll never be happy, and maybe you won't get the answer you want, and maybe you won't believe the answer you get, but in any event, you probably need to step back from this for awhile and see which way he jumps.

There is an old saying in the gay community - the wife always knows, she usually just doesn't want to hear it...

Is that you? I don't know, but you are talking to the wrong people.

Wow, I could not have asked for a more realistic answer. You're right... I'm mostly looking for confirmation/negation on my own suspicions. Or validation at least. Just making sure the things I'm seeing aren't something that should just be disregarded.

Thanks for posting this!

 

[Robbert]

TX those gays are creating a stereotype which forms all the problems of bullying don't tell me it isn't bad for the other people who didn't do anything if you act like a woman be one it isn't that hard

 

[KaraBulut]

I understand what you mean about compartmentalizing, but doesn't that mean he would be on his "best behavior" when we're all together, though, and only act like this when it's just the two of them?
There's just SO MUCH about this situation that makes me think there's more to it.

Instincts exist for a reason and they're quite often accurate in helping us see things we don't want to see.

The piece of this that doesn't synch up with everything else is the friend's attitude. If this is more than just a friendship, why would the friend be allowing him to see you? After all, guys are generaly as unwilling to share their man with a woman as a woman would be willing to share her man.

 

[Robbert]

And btw I should consider dumping him it isn't good to be around someone who changes personality with every person he meets. I guess your a nice girl and deserve a better man than the one you got now

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

And btw I should consider dumping him it isn't good to be around someone who changes personality with every person he meets. I guess your a nice girl and deserve a better man than the one you got now

Really? That is total bullock! the man could be a social chameleon. Just because you don't find it appealing, doesn't make it a negative characteristics.

 

[TX-Beau]

TX those gays are creating a stereotype which forms all the problems of bullying don't tell me it isn't bad for the other people who didn't do anything if you act like a woman be one it isn't that hard

Bullshit. Bigotry isn't the fault of someone just being himself/herself. It's the fault of people who say things like this and attempt to blame them for the cruelty of idiots.

If you decide to side with the bullies, I have no patience for you.

But off topic.

QuickQuestion, go talk to your guy. That's the only place you're going to find answers.

 

[QuickQuestion]

Instincts exist for a reason and they're quite often accurate in helping us see things we don't want to see.

The piece of this that doesn't synch up with everything else is the friend's attitude. If this is more than just a friendship, why would the friend be allowing him to see you? After all, guys are generaly as unwilling to share their man with a woman as a woman would be willing to share her man.

Well back when they were living together, he wasn't fond of me. He never wanted to go anywhere with all 3 of us and sometimes acted like the jealous ex-girlfriend type when I was around. I never really put that together until now. Just figured he didn't like me for whatever reason. Now we're friendly... We went out drinking when he was in town and even danced together a little while my boyfriend was having a beer.