Do you think this is going anywhere?

[maxpowr9]

Usually, if you have sex more then once with a guy, it is no longer "no strings attached". Something obviously brought you back to him or vice versa. If you start developing stronger emotions towards him, I would talk to him about it. If all he wants is sex, it may be a good point to step out of the "relationship". This kind of quagmire is always difficult to understand.

As for the whole closet thing, I know with me, I could not date a guy in the closet; it is a blatent sign of insecurity which is a huge turnoff for me.

 

[SantaCBear]

Too soon to know and stop fretting ! Enjoy it while it lasts... Check back in 60 days

 

[rareboy]

The only reason he's checking outside the door is that he must figure you are known as a flaming homo, becuase otherwise, what's the big deal with one guy visiting another guy in a dorm for god's sakes. How lame is he? Or is he like scary paranoid?

Anyhow, hopefully you'll both be able to grow up and put this bisexual thing to bed as it were.

I would say that if you can just enjoy the sex, bang away until you knock yourselves out. If there are one sided feelings involved, stop before you fall too far and get badly hurt.

 

[pausanias_usa]

If they are in college, fine, I think both are probably paranoid. I was then.

The main question is, do you have a long-term friendship? You say you understand him; ok, give him space and see what happens.

 

[G-Lexington]

It doesn't sound like either of you really WANT it to go anywhere.

In which case I'm not sure what the problem is.

Lex

 

[evil_danger]

Yeah to be honist its hard enough to build a secure relationship, without the added strain that neither of you are out.

Enjoy the sex, be good fuck buddies, dont go into a relationship with him untill you are both comfortable about the idea of being out.

If you do both have strong feelings for each other, then it might be what you need to come out.

 

[Shepherd 2]

Isn't going nowhere the bisexual power thing?
Sounds good to me, two bisexuals doing one another.
I like that.
Shep+

 

[SilverRRCloud]

So far, the only thing we really know here is that your friend is scared shitless.

No one here really knows, if his reasons are simple cowardice or a fully rational decision not to endanger the sources of his financial support while at college, or anything else, for that matter. We don't know that this dude does not have a homophobic father, who won't hesitate to disown him at a drop of a hat, if the word came through that his son was, ehm, pardon my French, a homo?

Yet, your friend is indeed, 'sweating bullets' and taking apparently significant risks in order to have sex with you. From his point of view, this must be something worth risking an awful lot for. He either finds you or sex with you or both of those rather irresistible. Why would he otherwise go through sweating the bullets every time, if it weren't worth it?

Take him out of your usual environment, someplace where no one really knows either one of you, have a drink or two but don't overdo it. Tell him that you are ready to spill the beans to him, if he is ready to do the same to you. Tell him that no matter what and how, what is said and done here stays here.

Open up and watch his reaction.

You have neither time nor energy to waste. Sex is good and no one says that you should stop the good thing going. But you too, want a fulfilled life and there is no reason to start investing your time, emotions or anything else, if the matter is going to be one-sided only.

You'll be very surprised at what he may have to say.

SC