Do you think your first time should be special?

[benlemieux2003]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

I think you've answered your own question. I'm not the kind of person who usually tells flat out people they're wrong but in this case I think you're totally off-road.

Craigslist, in my opinion and (non-personal) experience, groups a lot of bottom of the barrel of society; perverts and weirdos. I've only known ONE person who's found something serious in all those years on there.

Maybe I'm a bit old school on this but I'm damn proud of it.

Don't be sad because you haven't done it at 22. Age is really irrelevant, I didn't do it up until 23 myself and with a purpose: I wanted it to be with someone special. And it was: my boyfriend, whom I'm still with and very much in love.

When you said :"I hardly have the time or motivation to go out" I realized the turning around of this situation depends solely on your will. Take the thing that passions you the most, go out there and live it and you'll be sure to meet someone who shares that passion with you. That's exactly what happened to me.

Really, don't waste your virginity, safety and self-esteem on a random person you're likely to feel disgusted from after it's all said and done. Hope that helps!

 

[Inwood]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

I think you've answered your own question. I'm not the kind of person who usually tells flat out people they're wrong but in this case I think you're totally off-road.

Craigslist, in my opinion and (non-personal) experience, groups a lot of bottom of the barrel of society; perverts and weirdos. I've only known ONE person who's found something serious in all those years on there.

Maybe I'm a bit old school on this but I'm damn proud of it.

Don't be sad because you haven't done it at 22. Age is really irrelevant, I didn't do it up until 23 myself and with a purpose: I wanted it to be with someone special. And it was: my boyfriend, whom I'm still with and very much in love.

When you said :"I hardly have the time or motivation to go out" I realized the turning around of this situation depends solely on your will. Take the thing that passions you the most, go out there and live it and you'll be sure to meet someone who shares that passion with you. That's exactly what happened to me.

Really, don't waste your virginity, safety and self-esteem on a random person you're likely to feel disgusted from after it's all said and done. Hope that helps!

You don't get a better response to your question than that, Jetbaby.

 

[fjancsi80]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

I think at 22 you should get some experience. These are your best years, and they won't last forever. Of course it is probably better to have a special first time but you already waited long enough. I think a casual hook-up is better than nothing and when you will find your special one, you will be probably happy that you are not totally inexperinced.

 

[MainEntry]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

I think at 22 you should get some experience. These are your best years, and they won't last forever. Of course it is probably better to have a special first time but you already waited long enough. I think a casual hook-up is better than nothing and when you will find your special one, you will be probably happy that you are not totally inexperinced.

This is very good advice!!! Do not build up your "first experience" and then be disappointed. Just do what feels good (safely) and enjoy the experience and learn from it.

I don't believe that CL attract the lowest of gay people. Just those who want sex without strings.

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

It completely and utterly depends on the person.

I waited. For me, that was the right choice. And I don't regret it at all.

Other people have leapt in feet first at age 15, and never looked back. Some didn't have a good first time, others did, and still others don't even remember their first time. But they've had plenty of experience, and gotten better at it as they've gone along.

If you really want it out of the way, jump on it.
If you'd rather wait, that's cool, too.

Lex

 

[jhnphilipps]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

It's as the topic says. I'm kind of in a precarious situation, socially. 22. Little to no friends, let alone gay ones, and I hardly have the time or motivation to go out. And as lowly as it may sound, I've begun considering CraigsList as a means of becoming intimate with people.

I've never had sex before, but as every day passes it's becoming something I want to do (who doesn't?)

Do you think that I'm rushing things a bit, that it may be something I may come to regret later on in life? Should my hallowed "first time" be more than just a random hook up?

as mother earth say: each to his own. i do not know what you are looking for.
sex is broad-it could be just jacking off with another dude, or the other dude simply touches you and jerks you until ejaculation...or it could be that the other dude would allow you to fuck him; or he would allow you to suck him without reciprocation...some dudes are like that, suck me/fuck me-then, let us go on our merry way.
NO I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE RUSHING THINGS. GET LAID, GET SUCKED, GET FUCKED, SUCK A GUY, FUCK A GUY AND BE VERY HAPPY!!!

 

[Eagle653]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

My "first experience" was with a random anonymous hook up with someone whose name I didn't know--didn't want to know, and haven't seen since. Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. I was so naive and clumsy and uncomfortable that, had it been someone who meant something and whom I wanted to impress, I would have failed miserably.

By the time the right one came along, I knew what I was doing and knew what I wanted. I had to go through a lot of rotten apples to figure it all out, though.

To me, "waiting" and "saving it for the man I love" is over-rated. But, that's just me.

 

[josher]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

One way of looking at it is, if you've had some experience, your first time with someone special will be even more memorable.

But everyone has to make that choice for themselves. I started pretty young with a school friend, so that was never an issue for me.

 

[landers]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

I don't think you should necessarily wait for that one person you're going to spend the rest of your life but personally I don't think you should rush into things. With all the weirdos and freaks out there you should wait until you find someone you can trust and who will try to make your first time a good one. You don't want some guy who just sticks it in you and works you over to get himself off, caring nothing for you.

 

[godson112]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

I think luck is also a factor.

I first had sex when I was 13 and I don't regret it at all because I was lucky that it was great time and we both had fun. And we got to do it again a few times after (we were both the same age and not going out).

It just depends on your personality. If you think sex is a big deal and you NEED to do it with someone special, wait.

If you think you can handle just having your first time being meaningless, go for it. I thought it was going to be meaningless when I first did it and it was great. You might be lucky, you might not. Whichever you decide to do, there'll be pros and cons.

 

[T-Drag]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

I have to disagree about Craigslist. Sure, there are scores of assorted weirdos and freaks there, but I have gained at least 3 or 4 meaningful relationships from contacts I originally made on CL. It may be worth a try if you are willing to take the risk.

Anyway, I largely agree with godson - for some, sex is a very big deal, with lots of emotional baggage; in that case, I would hold off til I feel confident I had found the right guy. Otherwise, I would not worry too much about it. I had sex for the first time when I was 18 and that was quite a few guys ago, but I do not regret it at all. I feel that the experiences I have had to this point have helped me to test the waters and get a feel for myself.

 

[josher]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

And remember: real life is not a romance novel. Prince Charming isn't going to ride up to your door and sweep you away. If you do want to wait until you find someone special before you have sex, you still need to put yourself out there, network, make friends and thus put yourself in a social situation wherein meeting the right person becomes more likely. And meeting real people is preferable to dating sites and personal ads.

And if you decide to fool around a bit along the way, that doesn't make you a bad person. Sex and romance can go together and it's lovely when they do, but sex without romance won't hurt you, if you're mature enough and emotional stable enough to see it for what it is: pleasurable fun without strings. Just don't play anyone in order to get it.

 

[KaraBulut]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

Craigslist- the Walmart of sexual hookups.

At age 22, is the issue that you want to hookup or is this about being lonely and wanting a companion/friend to salve your loneliness?

You'll find a dick in a guy's pants. It's less sure that you'll find the cure for your loneliness there, though.

 

[MindBlast]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

You'll find a dick in a guy's pants. It's less sure that you'll find the cure for your loneliness there, though.

Truest words I've heard.

You HAVE to put yourself out there if you don't want to be lonely anymore. Get out of your house and take some social risks. It's SO worth it!

 

[shyguyy9]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

My first time was at 22 with someone I cared about a great deal. The first time i was so nervous it was a horrible folly, but alas, we made it work. I never wanted my first time to be something i regretted.

My advice to you is dont do something you will regret. If you do not think you would regret a random hookup, then by all means...but as Mindblast said...you HAVE to step out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there. If you get stuck in that zone and never put yourself out there, you could potentially get socailly STUCK and never get away from craigslist.

 

[Letterbomb]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

Yes it should be something special, like with someone you really love and want to offer the gift of your virginity (cherry... yummy). Of course I'm not the best person to tell you this as I never loved my unvirginitazor, but... NOT FROM THE INTERNET, get a man in RL, in a "normal" way, and socialize more.
Oh, and read this.

 

[hotatlboi]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

My "first experience" was with a random anonymous hook up with someone whose name I didn't know--didn't want to know, and haven't seen since. Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. I was so naive and clumsy and uncomfortable that, had it been someone who meant something and whom I wanted to impress, I would have failed miserably.

By the time the right one came along, I knew what I was doing and knew what I wanted. I had to go through a lot of rotten apples to figure it all out, though.

To me, "waiting" and "saving it for the man I love" is over-rated. But, that's just me.

I agree totally. My first time was so bad that I'm quite happy I never saw that person again.

 

[sb]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

I think its good to get the first time over and done with but I also think it should be with someone more significant to you than someone you found offering it in an advertisment.

 

[Corny]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

i think people think way too much about their "first time". you will notice .. it's not like heaven will open up and you hear the angels sing . it's your decision .. if you want to make it an "event" chose the right guy. if you just want to get it done, go for it (but still be reasonable, careful and responsible).

 

[tallguy297]

Re: Do you think your first time should be special

I was so naive and clumsy and uncomfortable that, had it been someone who meant something and whom I wanted to impress, I would have failed miserably.

i think people think way too much about their "first time". you will notice .. it's not like heaven will open up and you hear the angels sing

Well jetbaby, the huge range of responses here can tell you only one thing. Thats its your decision, that theres no right or wrong, that your choice will be right for you and as long as you take care and are careful it can be as big or small a deal as you want it to be.

For me, the answer lies somewhere between what averageguy and corny have said.

I was glad my first time was with someone that I knew...for all the reasons that average guy suggested it shouldn't be...lol. Because corny was right too... it was clumsy, I was naive and the angels didn't sing.

But he offered me support patience and understanding... something that you wont get from a stranger. And when we got it right...

As to whether or not it has to lead to more thats up to both of you. But by at least knowing the guy a little chances are you'll feel less pressure, more relaxed and more able to just let go.

Either way it probably wont be perfect, but nor will it be hell. Do whatever you need to to be comfortable... with who you feel comfortable with.

And most importantly remember... theres no race... and anyone who loves and values you wont care one bit as to whether or not you have had sex when you meet them. You are way more important than the number of people you have slept with.