Does childhood affect the way you view straight and str8acting men

[thewanderer101]

So this thread is a spin off from the “Dating Masculine Guys” thread, and there so comments that make me think of this idea I had in my head. Does the sex demographic of your childhood friends and the experiences of both sexes, influences how you view them? For example, my childhood experience with my male peer group was horrible. In fact,I resent men and masculinity, because how I was treated in childhood. And assume that most men, in general, were a threat to me.

Jack Donavan
A lot of homosexual males* have a really conflicted relationship with heterosexual males. Lots of "daddy issues" and unresolved anger against guys who picked on them--or guys who they believed would pick on them if they only knew. (This is changing, because tolerance is "cool" in post MTV generations and I know many homosexual males who ended up "coming out" to their college fraternity brothers before "coming out" to their families. It is different for a lot of guys under 30) But most homosexual males still harbor some adolescent resentment against the alphas who would judge them--it's a button you can push with most of them. I sometimes call it the "man up" button, because many or most have a sense that they have somehow disappointed or failed their fathers, and they get very defensive and tend to demonize straight men as a monolithic group. A large percentage of adult homosexual males have no close straight male friends.


So how was childhood? Did you hanged out with the girls, boys, or both? Did the boys made fun of you because you were different? How did this influence your view on men?

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

childhood?

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# ooh sorry #
$ dat wet $
Comin throughhhhhh
- COOR ya inta mops? -
WOT?

$ how much taday? $
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haaaaaaaa

 

[yummylongsword]

I feel like homosexual men tend to have less male friends in the same way that women tend to have less male friends. We're just on different wavelengths, and so we don't click.

Homosexual men and their relationship to straight men is really bizarre. They're part of the same gender, but at the same time it's like they're opposite sexes. We can never know how much of the relationship is innate differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals, and how much is put upon us by society.

Personally, all through Elementary and Middle School, at least half or more of my close friends were male. Nowadays, I don't really have any close male friends (I did last year, but he was also gay and now he's living on the other side of the country). I feel like it's more a personality thing rather than a societal thing; I tend to hang out with slightly frumpy, quiet, studious girls. There isn't really a parallel for that in men.

So, no one has made fun of me for being different, really. It's just sort of a wordless exclusion, which honestly is something that's just a fact of life: you can't make everyone like you. I think gay men just don't have a lot to relate to in straight men, but still feel like they should be a part of the same "brotherhood".

 

[glasvegas]

I don't have any friends back in Elementary, I was an outcast, being bullied for being different ( by both male and female). I forgave them, they're young and stupid. Through middle school, I have both male and female best friends but feel much closer to my girl best friends, once I am in high school, I started to have bros and I feel more accepted. Girl best friends are fine but I like being with my bros, go out and being crazy, drink booze and just go wild. I am glad that when I came out to a few of my bros, they're very accepting and welcoming.

So, no, childhood doesn't affect me much. And I have certain feminine traits which occasionally being used as an attack but I just brushed it off. They can't harm if I don't think it hurts.

 

[jensu846]

interesting topic. I hung out with the girls thru elementary and middle school. The guys made fun of me for it too. Gym class was escpecially difficult, cuz we had a swimming pool and required to swim, which made us of course have to shower and change in front of everybody. I cant tell you how many times I got caught checking guys out and getting picked on for it.
My 5th grade teacher even told my parents that "he hangs out with the girls all day and at recess" to which my parents then questioned me about it. I just said they did funner things. (I didnt really know then it was cuz I was gay)

As an adult now, all my close friends are female, and I really dont have any male friends. I interact awkwardly around them, and cant seem to be myself for fear or ridicule I suppose like I received in school. Seeing some of the same guys now from school, makes me just as nervous today as it did back then. I revert right back to that boy in my head and try to avoid them if possible.
So ya, I think my childhood altered my view of straight men.

 

[kallipolis]

Freudian theories have a habit of attempting to impose vague ideas on not a few people; ideas that are totally removed from our every day existence living our life liberated from incarceration in our childhood memories.

As the caterpillar transforms its life into a butterfly so must we face the truth each day we rise from our sleep to live life afresh.

It is said that fear of the unknown is a dark room where negative thoughts develop that special picture hidden in our attic where our true face conceals itself in fear of facing up to the truth.

“You are a wonderful creation. You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know.”~Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

 

[kallipolis]

Most JUBBERS have subscribed to inborn homosexuality as the most likely explanation of orientation. The jury is actually still out on that one by way of science. Human development is extraordinarily complex. Without question, childhood development shapes the man; it's just a question of to what degree nature and nurture compete to shape us.

Becoming our self is never an event, rather a journey of self discovery.

The man who I am today is not the same person I was yesterday, having learnt from my yesterdays that I am evolving into the man who is learning from my life's experiences.

We should never anchor our self into our childhood memories, rather embrace change that evolves out of our life's daily experiences growing us into a more self reliant person better able to face tomorrow's life transforming trials.

Exploring life enables us to become much more aware that I am, who I am as a result of all my life's transforming experiences and not just those of my childhood years.

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."

 

[sixthson]

I wonder if gay men tend to be more sensitive, even overly sensitive, because there was that aspect of their personality they had to be secretive about while growing up? Because of this sensitivity, they turn to females for friendship because women tend to be more intuned with their emotions, while many, if not most, straight men have very superficial relationships with other men. They connect on sports or careers or whatever, but when it comes to intimacy in their relationships they come up lacking. I really suspect most men don't even want intimacy in their relationships. But I could be wrong.

I think I had a good balance of male and female friends while growing up, despite the fact I put up walls between myself and everyone else because I knew I was different. My best friend was male.

 

[sixthson]

I never had daddy issues. The last thing I wanted was another father.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

Most of my friends, in childhood and today, were males. Straight, bi, gay, whatever - I connect well with and mostly hang with males. Most of my friends these days are straight - my wrestling and UFC buds are exclusively so, and nearly all male. The co-worker friends I have are nearly all female - aside from the guy i'm "dating", of course.

Was bullied by guys and girls for being different - and this was before I knew I was gay. No one back then did - and now that i'm too old to give two shits how people feel about it, all my friends know and accept it.

Childhood didn't taint my view of heterosexual males - it tainted my view of all people in general.

 

[ronnie_h]

I almost exclusively hung out with boys because I was interested in boys, they were much better company and easier to get along with. I don't have a lot memories of my elementary school years, but from there I was definitely one of the alphas.

I was never interested in older men but there were those two much older guys who clearly had an interest me when I was a teen. However, they were too stupid (or afraid) to ask or I would have been happily doing stuff with them.

So I don't know (and actually don't care) if there is any deeper psychological stuff behind me being gay. I can't and don't want to change it, so why bother?