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Does coming out matter...

bigboi229

bigboi229

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...if I'm not even dating yet? Sure I've talked to some guys but nothing that serious yet. I just feel like there's some voice in my head saying "let everyone know" but would it really do much for me? I hate having to hide who I am & who I'm interested in dating/having a relationship with but my family are some of the strangest people & unless I'm actually dating somebody what good would it do? My mom, I can already foresee, will be "disappointed" & others might not care, but my dad is extremely prejudice & I know if I came out to anyone the word would get back to him & he would do nothing but cause me problems. So should I wait around until I'm seeing someone to face these issues or deal with them now? Because I feel like it would make me feel better if people weren't always pestering me with questions of "why don't you have a girlfriend" or having friends offer to hook me up with girls all the time. Then again I don't wanna deal with all these people's reactions. :-/
 
Coming out is one of the best things you can do for yourself...that being said do you live on your own or with your parents?
 
The choice is entirely up to you when and how you choose to come out.

I came out to my friends way before I told any of my family since I haven't lived at home since I was 18, so it was easier in that respect.

It's like taking a huge weight off your shoulders. You no longer have to go through acting straight which we all know can be very life sucking at times.
 
I felt the same way that you feel now.

Finally I got tired of lieing about who I was and like you I got tired of the "Why dont you have a girlfriend" and "Im gonna find you a girl" remarks all the time.

So on my birthday this year I finally sat my mom down and told her who I really was. Yes she was dissapointed and she cried alot, It took her a little while to get over it but everything is fine now.

After telling my mom, I started telling all of my friends. So far pretty much everyone knows and I havent had a negitive reaction from anyone other than my mom.

I havent told my dad yet, I still live at home and rather not have to deal with his reaction at the moment.

But neways to the point, Its totally up to you wether or not you want to come out. I think all gay people should come out and hold their heads high!

We are who we were born to be, There is nothing wrong with being gay so I totally support coming out, being true 2 urself and if ppl cant accept it, thats their loss!

I hope this makes sence lol!!

As for the dating, It didnt really help, Although I made a lot of cool gay friends!




-Matthew



-Matthew
 
Thanks for the feedback so far, guys! And I don't live with my parents. I've got my own apartment, but I'm renting it off my mom (even though she doesn't live here, she owns the property). Out of all the family members I could tell, it seems either her or my sister would be the least likely to make a big deal of it. Also I would feel more comfortable coming out to some of my friends rather than family, but eventually everyone will know. I'm just not sure when that'll be.
 
When you are ready, come out to a friend that you know you can trust--once you have someone you can talk to and be "yourself" it becomes easier to let others know.
 
How exactly do you plan on "seeing someone" if nobody knows you're on the market?

Lex
 
Lots of good advice here.

Why not come out now. Do straight people not come out until they're dating?

Do it now and get it over with, so your first bf won't have to be dragged through that shit.

And if your father complains, just tell him it's genetic--so ask him who it came from in his family--his father or his mother? LOL
 
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