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Does he fancy me?

Bud, you gotta stop playing games. Did you blank him to get him to chase you, or did you blank him because you really want the flirting to end? If it's the second, why not just tell him so? You have to remember, this guy is a flirt. He doesn't see anything wrong with it. Flirts don't often notice it when someone has fallen for them, and why would he if you haven't told him? NOT that you should tell him--that would only make you more vulnerable, which you don't need right now.

How about just saying, "Hey, the reason I'd rather we not do that stuff anymore is that it sends me mixed signals and then I'm not sure what's up. And that's too distracting here at work. You're my friend and my co-worker, but I just think we need some boundaries." Maybe that would help.

He can only know if he's pushing the boundaries if you first establish with him where they are.

And then get out of there and find someone who will return your feelings. That'll go a long way towards helping you forget this guy. If you keep fixating on your thoughts about him, it's going to make work unbearable. (*8*)
 
I know how this feels and it is excruciating. He sounds like he's playing games. Don't play along. It's not worth it.
 
Killjoke said:
Bud, you gotta stop playing games. Did you blank him to get him to chase you, or did you blank him because you really want the flirting to end? If it's the second, why not just tell him so? You have to remember, this guy is a flirt. He doesn't see anything wrong with it. Flirts don't often notice it when someone has fallen for them, and why would he if you haven't told him? NOT that you should tell him--that would only make you more vulnerable, which you don't need right now.

How about just saying, "Hey, the reason I'd rather we not do that stuff anymore is that it sends me mixed signals and then I'm not sure what's up. And that's too distracting here at work. You're my friend and my co-worker, but I just think we need some boundaries." Maybe that would help.

He can only know if he's pushing the boundaries if you first establish with him where they are.

And then get out of there and find someone who will return your feelings. That'll go a long way towards helping you forget this guy. If you keep fixating on your thoughts about him, it's going to make work unbearable. (*8*)
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I wasn't playing games... I don’t think I was playing games, I blanked him because it hurt me to look at him, just knowing he was there made my heart skip a beat and just looking at him made me hurt.

He knows how I feel, had a chat about it the other night which was bizarre. I spoke to him today, told him that I was sorry, but I'm not going to be 'normal' with him for some time, he seamed to understand being quite a gentleman about it. Asked him if we were okay, he smiled and nodded.

I’m probably just grieving now if that makes sense, my emotions are starting to settle down now though.
 
I'm sorry, when you said that you and the girl agreed that the way to annoy him was to ignore him, I thought that you were saying that was part of your plan. :(

It took guts to tell him how you feel, and even more guts to continue going to work there while you're grieving what might have been and never will be. (*8*)
 
Killjoke said:
I'm sorry, when you said that you and the girl agreed that the way to annoy him was to ignore him, I thought that you were saying that was part of your plan. :(

It took guts to tell him how you feel, and even more guts to continue going to work there while you're grieving what might have been and never will be. (*8*)
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Thats okay, reread what I wrote, did come across as a "lets play mind games!" type of thing to say.

But yeah, the fact hes actually being quite cute about it helps... well it hurts, would have probably been easier if he told me he hated me or something, but being cute, asking if im okay, trying not to be all flirty but at the same time still keeping the level of jokes quite high, they all make me feel better... again even though it hurts.
 
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