Does "Partner" have any meaning?

[pocono]

I have friends in very long term relationships (married, partnered, etc) that have or would like to mess around with me...Its fun and all, but I just don't understand.

Not that I'm the hottest commodity, far from it, but I seem to get hit on by guys in LTRs a lot....what's up with that? I could understand if it happened once or twice, but it happens a lot.

Not to paint the entire gay community with the same broad brush...but is this really as common as it seems?

 

[Homoerectus]

Unless the guy's partner tell YOU they are in an open relationship and it is OK with him, avoid these guys like they had the plague. You don't want to cultivate the reputation of being a homebreaking slut. Allso, you put yourself in the position where a pissed-off lover might come looking for you with a gun.

 

[G-Lexington]

Is the question "are gays more likely to have open relationships?" or "are gays more likely to blatantly cheat?"

Either way, I'm pretty sure the answer is yes.

Lex

 

[probable]

Is the question "are gays more likely to have open relationships?" or "are gays more likely to blatantly cheat?"

Either way, I'm pretty sure the answer is yes.

Lex

it kind of makes sense when you think about what kinds of relationship role models we have, though.

straight couples are expected to remain monogamous, get married, etc. etc. gay guys are expected to be hoes. that's why the straight couples in open relationships are seen as odd or 'thinking outside of the box,' where as the gays in committed relationships are seen in almost the same light.

 

[Lube]

Is the question "are gays more likely to have open relationships?" or "are gays more likely to blatantly cheat?"

Either way, I'm pretty sure the answer is yes.

The first one: yes, absolutely.

The second one: I have my doubts.

[The rest of this comment has nothing to do with Lex's comment; it has to do with others' comments.]

I have more respect for the guys who play around and are in open relationships, than the guys who cheat on their partner. I don't do the later. But I'll gladly do the former. Hell, I've been in a number of 3-ways with both partners.

Jeez, the judgmentalism in this thread is just like the slave thread.

If I'm not in an open relationship, then clearly it's disgusting for other guys to be in open relationships. Because I'm not in a Master/slave relationship, it's wrong for everyone else. Because I don't [fist/rim/anal/whatever], it's wrong for everyone else, and they are disgusting sluts.

Despite the fact that it's two (or more!) consenting adults.

Wow.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>it kind of makes sense when you think about what kinds of relationship role models we have, though.

Role models, nothing. In most of the US states, we're not even able to get married. That doesn't exactly give us anything to aim for, does it?

Lex

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Most of the gay long-term couples I know fuck around, separately or together. They provide the hottest sex too, due to the regular practice with each other. I don't mind dating couples at all. But it's important to respect the relationship at all times. I would like to get with my honey Wilson Cruz and his lover. Maybey do a five-way with Ricky Martin and his man.

 

[954dude]

I have friends in very long term relationships (married, partnered, etc) that have or would like to mess around with me...Its fun and all, but I just don't understand.

Not that I'm the hottest commodity, far from it, but I seem to get hit on by guys in LTRs a lot....what's up with that? I could understand if it happened once or twice, but it happens a lot.

Not to paint the entire gay community with the same broad brush...but is this really as common as it seems?

The partner is the one you love and care for. A partner understands that you have other options and want to have fun (in some cases). Because in the end, you'll come back home to them anyways.

That's how I see open relationships.

 

[theFallenGod]

First of all I despise the word partner.. just to set it straight....

Second... I love my boyfriend way too much to even think about subjecting him to any kind of harm... physical, emotional, or mental to want to have sex with anyone else...

My boyfriend is also my best friend... we may point out a guy with think is attractive or hot or whatever but in the end of the day that other person just doesn't hold a candle to what my boyfriend provides for me.

I can talk to my boyfriend, have fun with my boyfriend, make love to my boyfriend and yes even have quickie sex with my boyfriend... I don't want or need anyone else for the basic things I get from him.

When I tell him I love him I mean it all the way to the core.. When he isn't around I miss him and would not even dream of looking for some other hole to fill in the interim.

 

[theFallenGod]

The partner is the one you love and care for. A partner understands that you have other options and want to have fun (in some cases). Because in the end, you'll come back home to them anyways.

That's how I see open relationships.

If your "partner" is fine with being "choice b" then he needs more self esteem.

That is like saying if you don't find anything at the bar or online that night well you always have "old standby" waiting for you.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>What are you suggesting about marriage? That it is the ultimate aim?

I don't think marriage is for everybody, or even for most. But I do think there are couples who bond for life, and those couples should be recognized by the state as such. By withholding gay marriage, I feel it's implicitly telling long-term gay couples "Oh, you can PLAY 'married' all you want, but it ain't gonna last.'"

Lex

 

[Luka]

well there are some gay guys in open relationships...these are the people who aren't in love, they just dont want to live alone. if you really love someone then you dont need other guys to please you....

That being said if they are both involved it may be a different story, like if i had a bf and we had a threesome that wouldnt mean we are not in love that just is spiceing up ur love life.

Open relationships is when both guys are cheating on one another and they both know it.

 

[conrad]

Two persons who are bonded together in a relationship of love and triust naturally place a high value and find great meaning in their partnership. It does not mean that they cease to find other persons sexually attractive, but it does not mean they feel free to pursue such an attractive person to have sex. That is what commitment is all about; and, if you think about it, life is commitment.

Some persons try to avoid commitment and prefer the momentary thrill of casual sex, they feel no responsibility to their "partners" in such affairs, but it would be a stretch to call them real partners.

Our society still offers only limited opportunity to recognize the depth of the commitment of same-sex partners formally as it does for heterosexual partners.

As I see it we would do well by doing our best to respect and honor all those who are loving, faithful, and committed partners whether they be gay or straight. Even our laws may someday catch up when society generally begins to appreciate loving and committed partners whether gay or straight.

 

[Lube]

Hold on, guys.

Many things we think of as moral/religious are in fact based on logic.

"Thou shalt not kill." Well, it'd be mighty impractical if people went around killing people every time they got mad.

"Thou shalt not eat pork." Well, improperly cooked pork will get you trichinosis.

"Thou shalt not adulter." Well, it's a financial burden on society when straight men go around having illegitimate children all over the place.

So maybe, just maybe, the concept of a single sexual partner is based on the logic of hetersexual relationships. Maybe it doesn't (or need not) apply to homosexual relationships. Hell, maybe straight men should be allowed to have sex with post-menopausal women.

It's all up to the couple to decide.

There's no need for judgmental types to go around pointing fingers.

Consenting adults, remember? Isn't that the gay mantra?

 

[pocono]

Thanks for all of your interesting perspectives.... but frankly I'm kind of sad.

I think we all know that if sex is what you want...it comes easy in the gay community, and open relationships are understandable as some may need a change of pace from time to time. I try (but fail sometimes) to not take advantage of the hot guys that are married or in LTRs. I don't judge people, but simply don't want to hurt anyone, especially unsuspecting partners.

What scares me is being alone. A few months ago I had a health concern. Turned out it was nothing (whew...) but as my parents are gone and my brother lives far away I was on my own. I clearly remember walking into the MD's office scared but with no one to reassure me.

I seem to be able to get all the sex I want (ok...not quite true). But I really want more. If however...Partner basically means some type of "Senior Roommate" I'm really sad....

Again, thanks for your perspectives.

 

[EwanSF]

I could never cheat on someone, personaly. I've never had it happen to me before, but I've seen what it can do to people. My last boyfriend had a string of relationships with cheating scumbags, before me, and he is basicly at the point where he just can't trust anyone. It is more or less what fucked our relationship up, and if I ever caught anyone messin' around behind the back of someone I care about, I would fuckin' ruin them man. It is such a contemptable thing to do.

 

[MrWright]

I will never cease to find it interesting how many gay men are clamoring, very publicly, for equal marriage rights while not understanding anything behind commitment - full, emotional, sexual, focused commitment....