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Does race/ethnicity matter....

cestmois1983 said:
<hops up and down screaming>

Oh! And has anyone else noticed that non-US born white/Latin men seem to be much more attracted to black men.
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Yes! I seem to get a lot of attention from German gay men. GORGEOUS German gay men. The type that if they were American born and raised, probably wouldn't give me the time of day. Hell, even Michael Lucas once asked me in NYC if I'd like to be in one of his movies!
 
Well I was not trying to state that any black man who prefers to date white/latino men is a racist or anything of that sort. I just personally have to shake my head at it. I guess it just goes to the laws of attraction, race is not on my list of considerations when I am looking at a potential partner.
 
cestmois1983 said:
I've noticed in other places that race is the very LAST subject GLBT folk want to talk about.
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Indeed.....I am one though who has dated white, black, Latino. It is beyond my comprehension one would negate someone due solely to color - but they are there. I just have to do my part to prove that white guys can appreciate other races for their beauty, experiences, knowledge and personality.
 
You're attracted to who you're attracted to. If it happens to be the majority of one particular ethnicity, so be it. Doesn't mean you're self loathing or racist at all.
 
If you treat someone indifferently because of their race, then that would be racism, but if you're not attracted to someone and just so happens to be that they are of a different race, then you can't control that.
 
strataboy19 said:
I agree with some earlier posts. This issue is bigger than just the gay community. Even interracial straight couples are still rare. And because white people have been historically considered the superior race (with black people as the inferior race), we have more minorities attracted to white people than the reverse.

This may sound a little glum and negative but I realized a while ago that most gay white men simply aren't attracted to black men. And that's ok with me. I'm not hurt. I wouldn't want to date someone with those kinds of values anyway. So I don't even look in the direction of white guys anymore...just a waste of time (no offense to you white men). Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't object to dating a white guy but I'm not going to go out of my way to find one.
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Yes, I realize that about my queer in general also. It seems to me that most are just obsessed with the ideology of something most will never find. In many ways, that's why I've chosen to stay single.

But to get back to point. It's bigger than the gay community. And it's bigger than just sexual attraction. I've been watched by security staff in malls. I notice when the white girl walks a little faster quickly locks doors behind her when I'm going into my apartment building. I notice when sometimes I'm the last person white (or asian for that matter) people will sit next to on the bus.

But I'm beyond being mad, bitter, sad or confused. I'm going to accept it for what it is and move on. Besides, these people who avoid me are the ones missing out on getting to know a great person, not me.
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Basically.
 
strataboy19 said:
But to get back to point. It's bigger than the gay community. And it's bigger than just sexual attraction. I've been watched by security staff in malls. I notice when the white girl walks a little faster quickly locks doors behind her when I'm going into my apartment building. I notice when sometimes I'm the last person white (or asian for that matter) people will sit next to on the bus.
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Ah well, can you blame them ? I would elaborate on that last sentence i made but im sure it will just upset people, so will leave it to your imagination.


Over all this thread is just fucking depressing.
 
Comrad said:
Ah well, can you blame them ? I would elaborate on that last sentence i made but im sure it will just upset people, so will leave it to your imagination.


Over all this thread is just fucking depressing.
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LOL!!! I seriously do agree with you...but then again whats dying gonna do? It still won't change peoples opinions about blacks.
 
It's tough being black in America. Wish there was something I could do but I can't. Except not treat blacks any differently from anyone else, which, I try not to.
 
OMG I wish I saw this thread earlier. Reading some of other people's comments really reminds me of what I've been through. In the SoCal gay community, to most, race matters. If you look at gay publications, all you see is the image of a white buff jock (same in hetero culture). All everyone wants are these White guys they see in their media (Latins fall into the mix too) and Asians and to a higher extent, Blacks are not wanted. Being Black and coming from Northern California and going to places like New York, Paris, etc. I can definitely see and feel the difference in SoCal. It's really tough, especially since I like White guys too but I just don't fit in.

You can look to sites like Craigslist or Adam4Adam, the bulk of profiles say things like White and Latin only or No Blacks, No Asians. I've talked to guys online who think I'm really cool and then I tell them I'm black or show them my picture, they just stop talking to me. I've even done experiments posting as an average white guy, not even a hot one and I get so many more responses then I do as myself. I am in no way ugly, I'm muscular, in shape, good looking, a really nice, grounded guy but I go out and no one will even glance at me (well maybe some guys in their 40's, I'm 21 damnit!!!). It is hard being Black in America and it is even harder being a gay black man and just being black in the gay community. There are no models, role models, anyone like you to look up to and relate to.
 
I'm not doubting its harder for black men on these sites, and you do see a fair amount of ads that say white only or white/latin only. but a significant number of these specificers come from black men also!

also i am seeing more and more that say open to any race.
 
cestmois1983 said:
Almost certainly "the one," the guy I marry and adopt a half dozen kids with, if he exists, would have to be white/Latino. I'd want to share common tastes in music, Catholic Christianity, and various other things with him that I think would be difficult to find in common with a black man.
Eh, it's confusing. Does that sound racist?
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Answer: Yes. You can find common tastes in music, Catholic Christianity, and various other things with a man of any racial background, including black men.

cestmois1983 said:
Hmm.. God (yes God) is changing my heart about this. I've bought into deadly and damnable (yas damnable) notions. I repent. I will not limit who I date/marry (yes marry) based on race.
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One down, so many more to go! :gogirl:
Next..... (ww)(ww)(ww)(ww)(ww)
You are worthy! (ww)
 
Hey, Guys! :wave:

I was born in Lexington, KY, in Oct. of 1950. But, spent most of my early life in N.E. Ohio. My "History" involves both sides of the Mason/Dixon Line. Which, btw, is defined by those who drink out of Mason Jars, and those that don't! :badgrin:

I've had to "grow up" through many conflicting perceptions! The main one being that "those" who were not "Like Me" were/are still just "Like Me"!

ALL of "Us" are descended from the same "Roots"! And though "We" may be different Colors, and have been raised in different Cultures, the bottom line is, "We" are basically the Same!!

The very small parts of "Us", that are "different", are such a Rich Source of Variety, Diversity, and "FUN"!!! And, it's taken many years for Me to learn that!! :slap: I just wish that Everyone could realize that same "lesson", too!! (group)

LIFE is SO much more Enjoyable with "Spice"!!! :hurray:(!w!)

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
There are good looking men in all races..so as far as i am concerned it doesnt matter to me at all.
 
I'm Asian and I know how y'all feel. Being able to attract people based solely on physical appearance is a type of power. And as absolutely important as it is to be with someone you truly love, the fact of the matter is, in any social environment the minority always stands out as an accessory, and it's the social environment (family, friends, etc) that can sometimes push people away from an otherwise beautiful relationship. And so, I think it's not hard to fall in love with a person outside your race, but it can sometimes be difficult to date them.

I wish I had clear answers but I don't. But if I'm ever feeling a bit down, I remind myself of this:

"I'm the way I am, and I'm proud of who I am. I have my limitations and my difficulties, and maybe I'm not meant to bring people to their knees with a wink and a smile, and maybe it'll take a bit more searching to find that special someone who is comfortable dating me, but I am a human being. And a few limitations on infinite possibilities isn't worth crying over. I have the power to create my own value rather than conforming to someone else's, and thus I have the power to make myself into that which I value. Therefore, I can always depend on myself for love, and there is nothing more important than being able to love myself, even if no one else will."

Self love is always the first step. Sometimes it's the hardest step. We are presented with a social "report-card" and we feel the need to grade ourselves with it. Well, fuck that report card! I make the rules for myself, and so can you.

Lots of love ;)
 
Well i ask you. Why do you guys like white dudes so much when you guys claim a mass majority of them are not attracted to you ? This has always boggled my mind. I personaly like Brazilian guys, and they like me, so it works out for me in a good way. However, if i knew Brazilian men are not attracted to my "kind" them maybe i would move on, or just grab the few i can and head for the hills.
 
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