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Does your boyfriend have one night stand with others?

Love him or not it still don't excuse the fact that he is happy to sleep around so does he really want a relationship or is he hung up on the idea of a relationship because everyone is in one or looking for one.

Have you allowed him to do this or were you not even asked. My feeling is rid of him and find someone who accepts you for who and what you are remaining loyal.
 
"he always say that he loves me faithfully, and i am everything he needs... and he said he wants this relationship to last and i should love him exclusively" How old are you, 10? Can't you see through this sham? He is out fucking the world but he says YOU are all he needs? He says YOU should love him exclusively. It is all about you giving and all about him taking. If he loves you, he will give up his trysts with others and come home to you every night. He will want to spend all of his time with you. Love is not always sexual, it is soulful. You have a decision to make. Since you are asking, you already know the answer. You just want us to confirm that decision so you have someone to blame other than yourself when you are alone and unhappy.
 
I am starting to believe that humans are not monogamous animals by nature. If we were, it wouldn't be so hard to find someone who respects that ideal.
"The amount of social monogamy in animals varies across taxa, with over 90 percent of birds engaging in social monogamy but only 3 percent of mammals engaging in social monogamy. The amount of sexual monogamy appears quite rare in the animal kingdom (Wikipedia: Monogamy)"
The problem with that quote, of course, will be for those of you who don't believe that we humans are animals.
 
JsuisHumain said:
The amount of sexual monogamy appears quite rare in the animal kingdom (Wikipedia: Monogamy)
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It won't help jackkisser that much, and I do hope things work out with him; but wouldn't it be good if we all tried a lot less to conform to this idea of monogamy, and tried harder to understand our true natures and learned to live with non-monogamy?
 
NineOfClubs said:
It won't help jackkisser that much, and I do hope things work out with him; but wouldn't it be good if we all tried a lot less to conform to this idea of monogamy, and tried harder to understand our true natures and learned to live with non-monogamy?
Click to expand...

As I told him personally, it's all about how this whole situation makes HIM feel.

If he's okay with it, whatever, that's his choice. But we're not talking about a 'mutual' agreement here between him and his boyfriend. We're talking about a guy that is, apparently, fucking around on him yet telling him that he's loved faithfully.

If jackkisser and his boyfriend had a mutual agreement to continue seeing each other while sleeping with other men, that would be different. But he said that his boyfriend is fucking other guys behind his back and at the same time telling him (jackkisser) that he loves him and ONLY him.

Ya see what I'm sayin?

There are a lot of things to consider here. Again, it's not a mutual agreement. And jackkisser also has to assume that his boyfriend may or may not be using protection with these other men.
 
I'm sorry, what I was saying was an aside. Thinking out loud and responding to JsuisHumain...

Of course, there's nothing about jackkisser's situation that's "open", which is a synonym for honest (something lacking in this case). He needs to have an "open" conversation with his BF, and then they can decide how to continue, or not.
 
JsuisHumain said:
I am starting to believe that humans are not monogamous animals by nature. If we were, it wouldn't be so hard to find someone who respects that ideal.
"The amount of social monogamy in animals varies across taxa, with over 90 percent of birds engaging in social monogamy but only 3 percent of mammals engaging in social monogamy. The amount of sexual monogamy appears quite rare in the animal kingdom (Wikipedia: Monogamy)"

The problem with that quote, of course, will be for those of you who don't believe that we humans are animals.
Click to expand...

There is overwhelming evidence that the humans are not monogamous. Just as there is overwhelming hard evidence (See human genome research) that humans are mammals and that despite all of our achievements, we still are animals.

The subject has been with us since the times immemorial and frankly, monogamy makes only a conditional sense within the evolutionary theory, too.

The British did finance a major study a few years ago and ran a fully anonymized DNA paternity tests on several thousand families. Close to 1/3 of all the kids were conceived with males other than 'the official husbands', largely proving the theory that human females tend to choose 'two fathers': a breeder, preferably a good-looking guy with all the desirable attributes and loads of good genes, and 'a nurturer' or 'a provider', who is there to fund the dreaded dental bills, pay for the college education, and generally toil all his life long, so that the other dude's good genes may live one more generation. (I'd call this 'cheating'.)

The problem with this study, of course, will be for those of you who don't believe that BRITISH are humans. (Absolutely no offense meant. See above.)


---
I live in an open relationship and this works well for both my BF and I. Cheating is thus, not an issue.

I would not be able to live with lying, though.

In other words, he is sleeping around behind your back, while your present relationship implies monogamous commitment.

That guy seriously violates your trust. You want to decide, how important is that to you.

To me, my trust is everything. If violated, there is the END OF GAME on all channels.

SC
 
I've had one open relationship, but I think I'll just keep it at one since it didn't work out very well.
If I'm going to be dating a guy, he better not be sleeping around on me or he'll face the consequences :mad:.
I now see open relationships as more of a fuckbuddy thing than an actual relationship.
 
](*,) ](*,)

Personally, i think he is being most self centered and totally insensitive as to who you are and your needs.

He is playing around with his own human emotions, which is his business, but when that spreads to him playing around with your human emotions and without your consideration and or permission - that he has no right to do so what so ever.

I think he has destroyed and or at least tampered with any degree of trust and understanding between you and if getting his fucking cock off is the price he is willing to play, then let him take a hike.

Unless i am mistaken he has committed one of the most selfish acts a person could do, especially given the fact that it is your understanding you and he have a relationship and it does not include someone else down the block or someone he met in a bar.

And if he does become an ex, i sure as hell see no logical reason why you need be on a friendly basis with you. He has been totally inconsiderate towards your feelings and having him as so called "friendly ex" i think would be a grave mistake.

Once he is out the door, let him stay there and maybe he will have learned something about his own behaviours and immature levels of maturity, not to say the least of which is an understand about the feelings of another human being.

eM.:(
 
jackkisser said:
you are right, i think i am stupid...
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You're not stupid. Everybody goes through moments of doubt and many of us have been down that road of loving someone so much that it blinds us to what we really need to see.

What matters is you've recognized this as a problem. You're acknowledging it. So now you just need to figure out what you wanna do.
 
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