Doing something with a straight friend

[blonguy]

Okay, so I have a friend of mine who is straight. I know this is an issue some hate to hear, but for me it's a common thing since all my friends are straight. I'm bi but not out. I've known this friend for about 3 years and we have become really close. We're both in our 20s. We used to talk every single day if we didn't see each other. We now see each other atleast a few days a week. Some of our friends joke about how close we are, say we're so gay, things like that. Though they have no idea how I'd like that to be haha.

I like to at time be touchy feely, rub his back, chest, leg. He used to not be okay with this but now he doesn't resist at all. I even briefly touched his underwear a few times. All of this as kind of testing the waters I guess to see if he'd be okay with more. I wouldn't think to do anything sexual unless I thought he would be open to it and maybe even wanna try it himself.

So what I need help with is my thoughts on trying to j/o or blow my friend. It's something that if I thought of it before I would not have the guts to act on it. Now I'm kinda tired of missed possible chances and not knowing what could be though. This is something that has been staying on my mind and it bugs me. So I'm pretty determined to go for it.

I'd like to know if anyone has some helpful advice, perhaps similar situations and experiences or best ways to approach this. I plan on us having some drinks. Another thing is I'd like to get us to hang along for a bit with drinks and for this to happen kinda naturally, without it seeming like I'm forcing it or anything. This would be my first time trying anything with a straight guy so at times I get scared of the outcome or rejection. I know atleast my friend is okay with gays/bi's, and even if he were to refuse to do anything, he's not the type that would freak out or end the friendship. I know this from knowing him, so I'm not really worried about that. Though I do wonder if things may become somewhat awkward.

I should say also that I have jokingly mentioned handjobs a few times. His reaction the first time surprised me because he didn't immediately decline. He looked at me in my eyes for a bit then after I repeated it looking for a reply he said no. I feel as though since I brought it up in a joking fashion he had no idea whether I was serious or not. He still spoke to me the next day as if nothing happened after these times. I'd like to be more clear and physical this time. For this and many other reasons I believe he'd be okay with doing something, but I think this would require me to put myself out there, initiate it, as well each of us having some alcohol to loosen us up. I think he may have even done things with guys before, but he's very to himself so would never admit to it if so.

I may wanna go into more detail, but I've typed a lot about it already. It's been really bugging me so I'd like to see what happens either way so I can get this off my chest. So atleast based on what I've typed so far I'm wondering if there is any helpful feedback on this?

 

[evanrick]

if you think hes comfortable enough with himself and you yourself then yeah maybe take it further. i wouldnt try and push it at all if hes not ready, you could lose a friend.

 

[62624rd]

do'nt do it you will lose a friend and maybe more.

 

[jubdown5]

I think about trying something with my straight friends all the time. Don't wanna risk it though...

 

[Blueboy369]

Play fights or wrestling could lead to something more in the right place/time. If something were to happen it may mean something to you but it would only be an experiment to him. Many guys have had their hearts broken by straight friends. If you can handle no strings attached fooling around and keep yourself open to seeking a real relationship with someone else, go for it but proceed with caution.

 

[pausanias_usa]

"No" means "no." You asked, he overlooked it. Don't push it or it will annoy him. If he changes his mind later, he'll let you know.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Tricky thing, this.

The hassle for you also, in addition to losing a mate if he's not keen, is that he might out you if you push it. Are you ready for all that?

-d-

 

[blonguy]

Thanks for advice so far. This is something I want mostly advice on how to approach and how to get into a situation where something can happen. I know him well enough that he wouldn't stop talking to me and he certainly won't try to out me or anything like that. He's not like that. I know that some pushing is necessary, but I know to not force it too much. I believe now I can handle no strings attached as long as we stay friends. I don't want a relationship but just fun. I know this is something I've heard of a lot of close friends do as long as they know their friend well. So I think it's worth trying and risking.

 

[lambdaboy]

He said no leave it at that maybe eventually he will say lets play.

 

[Jase201]

I should say also that I have jokingly mentioned handjobs a few times. His reaction the first time surprised me because he didn't immediately decline. He looked at me in my eyes for a bit then after I repeated it looking for a reply he said no.

Something tells me he has figured out you're bisexual and he probably likes the cozy friendship you already have but doesn't want it to go any further. I'd just leave the friendship as-is, if he wants something more out of it, he'll leave you clues. As far as innocently trying to heat things up to see where it leads, as another poster said wrestling might be a good idea, especially if you can strip down to your undies.

 

[sixthson]

You are talking about tricking your friend into sex by using alcohol and whatever manipulation you can to satisfy some lust you have when he already politely told you no thanks. He needs a new friend. You deserve to lose him.

 

[Ganoderma]

hi Blonguy,

I agree with others that he said no and that you should respect this. Please don't try to do things with him he does not like to do.

And open yourself to him, so he knows why you want to play with him. So I would like to advise you to tell him that you are bi.

He is your good / very good friend, you spend alot of time together with him, so why still keep pretending that you have no sexual feelings for guys as well?

And see how things are going when he is indeed aware that you are a bi guy. So first tell him the truth about yourself.

Take care and feel free to react.

 

[bdgboy123]

Hi there Blonguy, i have the same exact situation like you, though i didn't jokingly said for a JO. We're really close friends, and like you we've been friends for 3 years too. Once he jokingly said to me let me fuck you and piling on me, but while laughing, then i just said, no way. (though i would love that) I'm a closed Bisex, and he's straight.

 

[Audio Tech]

I concur. Don't push it unless you are willing to destroy a good friendship.

If something were to happen, it will, in time. All by itself.

Don't ruin it by being impatient.