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Dont know how to get a boyfriend

D

damir1989

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man me and you both dude!!!! i am stuck in the exact same predicament!! which totally sucks!!!!

HEY maybe we can be eachothers boyfriend!! lol jkjk i just turned 18 and started comming out to my closests friends but let me tell you finding someone gay is extremely hard especially if you arent out to everyone!

i would say your best bet is to go to a gay bar, infact bring a friend allong one of the girls that your out to... if your not out to anyone than maybe consider who is really your best friend and consider who wouldnt mind that much when i started comming out they wer like ohh COOL i was right!! lol but its wierd because im not that obvious but honnestly let me tell you one thing your not going to find someone just sitting arround adn moping about it go take action and find yourself a man!! wow i should take my own advise!! ive been moping arround for the past month about finding the guy a guy to be my boyfriend!! it sucks being single and it will suck untill you find that guy!! soo good luck and thanks for the post im sure all of us single men that are "on the hunt" could use some piece of advise!!
 
Manhunt.net is a hookup site. You can't expect anything more. You won't find the boyfriend or gay friend that you claim to seek if you look on hookup sites.

There are plenty of other options but you have to give us more to go on- like how old are you and where (approximately) do you live?
 
try dlist.com.

I've had some luck on there talking to people who want more than just hookups.
 
You know... I'm having the exact same problem. But bw's advice is good.

Here's to us both. :)
 
To be totally honest, the Internet is a terrible way to find a boyfriend.

Profiles are based on self-reported attributes, and you know how accurate those are.

Do things in real life that you enjoy--join a group (gay or not) or volunteer somewhere. You'll find someone with similar interests and--voilà--you have a bf.
 
Lube said:
To be totally honest, the Internet is a terrible way to find a boyfriend.

Profiles are based on self-reported attributes, and you know how accurate those are.

Do things in real life that you enjoy--join a group (gay or not) or volunteer somewhere. You'll find someone with similar interests and--voilà--you have a bf.
Click to expand...

Amen.

We really are a fast-food culture.

We don't want to bother getting dressed up and sitting down at a restaurant, so we hit the drive-through.

We don't want to bother sitting down and actually talking with friends, so we text them and email them all day.

We don't want to bother getting dressed up and getting out and meeting new friends and lovers, so we browse through websites reading the marketing materials that people write to try to sell us on the idea that they are our perfect boyfriend.


The best way to get a boyfriend is to get out and meet people. You make friends. You meet the friends of your friends. You don't make it a secret that you're single and you're looking.

The next best way is to get out and do things that you enjoy doing- softball, line dancing, running, politics, volunteer work. If you're religious, go to a gay or liberal-minded church. If you're in school, get out and meet some of the people in your college lesbian and gay association.

These are the ways that you meet people that have something in common with you.

If you're browsing through a website looking at people's pictures before you read their profiles, you're not looking for a relationship- you're looking for a hookup and you're hoping that it turns into something more.


And most important of all, don't start your search for a boyfriend without giving some thought to what you're looking for. Once you know what you're looking for, it's a lot easier to figure out when people don't fit the bill.
 
I am in the same situation as you. I joined all these sites looking for friends and if a relationship comes out of it, great. I have gotten some messages on adam4adam but it seems to be just that. People say they want to hang out or whatever but never follow though on it. It's really hard to meet other gay people. I guess it's because everyone I know is straight and I don't really go to gay clubs. I never really talked to other gay guys so this is new to me. I just wish people who were looking for friends were more willing to actually hang out instead of just chatting online.
 
KB nailed it. Go MEET people. Nothing wrong with dating sites or hook-up sites, but meeting people is the best way to expand your social network in toto. You may not get a boyfriend out of the box, but you might get a drinking buddy, or a guy you can talk to about your problems, or a guy who shares your passion for heavy metal, or what have you. And we could all use more of those in our life, right? :)

Lex
 
What KaraBulut said. And...

djmyers82 said:
It's really hard to meet other gay people. I guess it's because everyone I know is straight and I don't really go to gay clubs.
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First of all, 10% of the population is gay. Second of all, people tend to hang out with people who are like themselves, whether we realize it or not.

I bet 25% or more of your friends are gay, bi, or closet cases.
 
I can relate to your situation. I have accounts on Manhunt and Adam4Adam. I am having a similar experience, except I have past the cute twink stage of life.

I am not interested in getting a boyfriend, I just want a decent looking guy to pop my cherry ass and teach me to suck cock. Some guys think I am too old and the others don't have the patience to hook-up with someone who is inexperienced. Frustration and confusion are running amuck.

I just want to confront my sexuality and figure things out!
 
>>>I just want to confront my sexuality and figure things out!

"SWM, recently out of the closet. Never gotten physical with another guy before, and now interested in giving it a try. Will you be my first? Me - 40, decent shape, friendly, excited, a bit nervous. You - any age over 21, understanding, patient and willing to make my first time a wonderful time for both of us. Safe play an absolute must."

Lex
 
Lube said:
What KaraBulut said. And...


First of all, 10% of the population is gay. Second of all, people tend to hang out with people who are like themselves, whether we realize it or not.

I bet 25% or more of your friends are gay, bi, or closet cases.
Click to expand...

I will agree with you there. Two of my brother's friends recently came out to him this last year. I knew before they came out but I would never say anything to them or push the situation. I wouldn't be surprised if a few of my friends were gay, bi, closeted. They are not openly gay and I would still respect them if they didn't come out. I would love to meet other gay people. There is someone I have been chatting with for a few nights now. If anything, I would like to become good friends. It would also make it easier to meet other people. At least I would have someone to go out to the clubs with and meet people.
 
The probability for me to meet a guy is very low due to my location and physical preferences. I love older and chubby caucasian men, that I'm not likely to meet there. It's also harder to work something out online. Fortunately, earlier this year I met a great man online, still building on a strong friendship.

Be patient you will certainly get a boyfriend.
 
If you're in college go to the LGBTA club(s) on your campus. I've made a lot of gay friends by doing that. It's an excellent place to start.
 
Planning to find a boyfriend never works out and the relationships then suck. When you find someone who you want to be your boyfriend that's when you should go about.

The internet's a shoddy method to look for men anyway...
...mostly sexcapades...

They happen when they happen though your chances are greatly increased if you put yourself in situations conducive to dating (ie "gay friendly" zones...like college).
 
Hey aekid89,

Mate, theres some really good advice here in these replies... and your is a question that bugs everyone at some stage or another... how do I find that special someone?

Do me a favour? Re-read your original post... and think about why you wrote what you wrote...

My advice (fwiw)... Stop looking, stop trying and understand that as much as its important to have someone special to share your life and expereinces with, being happy and content in yourself, being confident and proud of who you are and truly believing that you possess special qualities and traits unique to you is far more important.

The moment you realise that you dont NEED a boy freind, when you stop trying so hard, when you understand your own value, one will come along, and he'll be the right one.

But for now, changing or forcing the issue will only see you hurt by people who dont want what you want or who wont get to see the real you... and you dont deserve that.
 
G-Lexington said:
>>>I just want to confront my sexuality and figure things out!

"SWM, recently out of the closet. Never gotten physical with another guy before, and now interested in giving it a try. Will you be my first? Me - 40, decent shape, friendly, excited, a bit nervous. You - any age over 21, understanding, patient and willing to make my first time a wonderful time for both of us. Safe play an absolute must."

Lex
Click to expand...


Thanks Lex for your help! I really appreciate it! (!)

I will PM you.
 
I'd say spot on advice from Lube, I have and have had for the past couple of years the same experience.

It wasn't until about a month ago, after an encounter with a guy that I realised, I actually prefer being single.

I know you probably get quite lonely sometimes when everyone around you seems to have a partner, but seriously, I look at those people now with my new outlook and pity them to a degree.

Just go about doing your own thing, and as the saying goes "Once you stop looking, it'll happen" Right outta the blue!

:D
 
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