Don't know if I should keep going

[mikenikes]

Hey everyone, I'm really confused and don't know what to do so any opinions would be appreciated.

Well the back story to this is that I met a guy back over a year ago online and we just chatted and talked for probably 3-4 months before we decided to hang out. Well, we finally hung out and I ended up falling for this guy really hard. He treated me differently than anyone else had before so it was a great surprise. He text me every morning saying "good morning, have a good day" or something along those lines and I was starting to really feel like he could be the one. Well, after 6 or so months of this going on, he starting getting distant and not texting as much and not answering my calls so I got suspicious. Whenever I would ask if he wanted to go to dinner or a movie he would say he couldn't because we are too far away (he lives about an hour away).

I later found out that he had been talking to people online and trying to go on dates with them for the last few months of our thing. Well I confronted him about it and he said that he was really sorry and that he was still interested in me and that talking to the other people was just trivial and for fun and that he had no intentions to meet them. I was done though and just wanted to be done with him because he hurt me so bad but he insisted to hear him out and to just give him a chance.

Well that was about 2-3 months ago and he is trying to show me that he's actually going to get back to how he was before. We talk everyday and I do still like him because of the way he was before, but I just don't know if I trust him.

So what I'm asking is, do you think I should keep going on with him and trying to give him a chance or should I just end it?

Thanks and sorry for the novel

 

[treeri]

Sorry to say but you are being played.
The guy lost interest (i.e. lack of communication), went window shopping, got caught, and is working to get your "trust" back until he can revert.

You can do better

 

[dragon08]

Eh I don't know I kinda get the creepy vibe from what you are saying. I say to just move on. I think that if things were going to move anywhere they would have a long time ago. Try to find someone else I think.

 

[Seasoned]

See where it goes but only if you're able to hold back with some of your emotion, or able to go all in, one day at a time. It won't be easy, of which you're already aware, hence your hesitation.

 

[hylas]

how often did you guys see each-other back when things were going well?

 

[mikenikes]

Thanks everyone for your responses!

treeri and dragon08: I agree with you! I think he is just trying to talk to me and act like he's still interested so he can try to look like he's a good guy instead of the ass he was before. I think emotionally I'm over him, but I talk to him to give me someone to talk to.

para0402: I know that we weren't committed so I was fine if he was talking to other people, it was just that he would say he wasn't talking to other people. That's where he broke my trust.

Seasoned: That's my problem! I go all in with every relationship that I go into and it has now gotten me in trouble a couple times. It seems like other people just don't go into relationships with a mind set of staying together.

hylas: We only got to hangout 4-5 times during the time when things were going well since we have conflicting schedules and being far from each other.

I think that I'll keep him around as a "friend" for when I'm bored and have nobody else to talk to. If something way down the road ends up happening and I can really trust him again, then I'll give him another chance. I'm just one of those people that doesn't really give people more than one chance, so it's hard to say that it would be worth it or not to give him another one.

 

[eastofeden]

It sounds as if he is keeping his options open. Alot of people are always searching for "that one"...the one they fantasize about. It is an addiction of sorts and fantasy and reality may be miles apart which is really screwed for everyone involved. It is hard to be compared to or compete with a fantasy man...you will never win. Keep that is mind when you are deciding if you should proceed.

 

[mikenikes]

Thanks eastofeden! That definitely makes sense. I think that is probably right for him. He's keeping his options open when I was only into him. I guess I should keep my options open as well since he doesn't seem to be trying so hard to make me think otherwise.

 

[mikenikes]

Update: I just plain asked him if he actually likes me or what his intentions are, and he said "I mean, I like talking to you but lets take it day by day"... In other words, he doesn't care. So as of now, I'm not trying anymore. Thanks for all the input guys!

 

[-Kane-]

Update: I just plain asked him if he actually likes me or what his intentions are, and he said "I mean, I like talking to you but lets take it day by day"... In other words, he doesn't care. So as of now, I'm not trying anymore. Thanks for all the input guys!

I'm glad you saw the light. All the signs were there, but sometimes infatuation and puppy love can blind us from the obvious. Trust me, it's better to walk away now then to endure more pain down the road.

 

[mikenikes]

Thanks -Kane-! Yes, I've unfortunately in the past ignored signs and end up getting burned so I'm glad I've decided to walk away at this point. Thanks again everyone!