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killdawabbit

killdawabbit

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Has anyone else just loved another guy regardless of suspicion and keeping score?
I mean really freely loved expecting hurt maybe but not caring?
And giving and not expect anything back? And yes I mean money also. What's money really worth if you can't share it with the ones you love? Is buying something for myself going to make me feel better than buying him something he really needs? To me it doesn't matter what the other guy's thoughts or intentions are. If I waste time on that crap I'm losing time I could just love him.
I'm just posting this because I am in this situation. And I wondered if anyone else is.
It's kind of hard to get past what the 'world' tells us and just give it away for free.
Anyone else wondering about this?

NO, my name is not Pollyanna. :-)
 
Yes, a genius of the last century and probably this one also. He is almost on the MJ level. But what does he have to do with my question. I know i'm missing something.
 
What choice do I have? Just stay tight with my money and worry about the future or do as Jesus said and give to any man that asks you?
Which way will I be happy? With some paper that may or may not be valid next year. Or with helping someone? I certainly cannot judge the situation they are in. They just need help now. How could I turn them down?
 
I think you need to be a little more specific about your relationship if you want reasonable advice from us. Despite what you might hear, love is not blind and giving someone everything they want may not be what is best for them.
 
""You'd just have to have faith. And why deliberately put yourself in a situation where you have nothing to rely on but faith? Jesus himself would see that as an asinine move. The purpose of helping your fellow man is to bring people out of poverty, not sink more into it.""

I understand what you're saying and you have my best intentions in your heart.
But Jesus put no conditions on giving and He said 'don't worry about tomorrow'. I believe that.
He never told a lie.

"(Ecclesiastes 11:1 KJV) Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days. Give a portion to seven, and also to eight; for thou knowest not what evil shall be upon the earth."

He also said that. Since He was God before the world began.
Not trying to be preachy.
It's just that I believe Jesus never told a lie.
And someone has to give in faith first don't they?
 
thats sweet and all, but youre gonna be used.
but then again, you dont seem to mind. his intentions are unimportant, and all.
maybe you even enjoy being used. the "expecting hurt maybe but not caring" part makes me think you might be an emotional masochist.

none of which is meant as a judgement, just an observation. its your money and its your life, and its yours to give.
 
And if I worry about all the things you guys mention how will I ever help anyone? When they really need it? How do I judge the person and the situation?
That's what I'm getting at.
Thanks for all your help.
 
Just an opinion, but I don't believe in unrequited love. I think for you to truly love someone, you have to be loved in return. I feel that love is something that grows and gets stronger when two people work on it together.

Could be totally wrong but that's what I feel.
 
You still haven't defined what kind of relationship you have with this person. The advice we give might be very different if he is your brother or just someone you are sexually attracted to.
 
illgetbi said:
What you described in your original post reminds me heavily of the philosophy McCartney has talked about plenty of times regarding true love and unquestioning faith and trust and so on and so forth (especially prior to marrying Heather Mills). So on that side of the coin take the comparison, obviously, as a compliment.

Now, while I personally have trouble opening myself up and putting so much trust in significant others, I fully support and am happy for couples with romances like that.

BUT the one thing you mentioned that makes me a tiny bit concerned is your attitude on money (which, granted, I don't know the full extent of, only a snippet impression). That is the one area where I'd strongly recommend trying to remain a little cautious on. And it's what really screwed McCartney when he separated from Mills (having absolutely no pre-nup, a result of his diehard believe that she was his true love until death).

Of course, pre-nup dramas probably have nothing to do with your situation, but it should serve as a reminder of the many ways a couple who shares everything without regard could end up in trouble. It's always hard to read how people really feel about money, even if you know them well. If your partner senses that you've become an ATM dispenser, all sorts of problems can follow.

Anyway, my point is really pretty simple - if this is how you want to live life and experience love, dive in. But be aware that without a solid understanding between you both over how finances will work, things could go horrifically wrong. A relationship ending with a broken heart is one thing. You don't want the added bonus of financial ruin.
Click to expand...



Illgetbi, I had no idea PM said this. Or felt this. Thanks.
 
FanofFiction said:
Just an opinion, but I don't believe in unrequited love. I think for you to truly love someone, you have to be loved in return. I feel that love is something that grows and gets stronger when two people work on it together.

Could be totally wrong but that's what I feel.
Click to expand...

I don't really think of it as 'unrequited love'. I think real love has to start somewhere other than financial or emotional considerations. I'm afraid of wasting too much time on that when I could just 'love' without expecting anything in return.
I know I feel happier when I think that way.

And he is a guy I've met 4 times now. I am 'in love' with him. And I've had my doubts about his intentions.
He suffered a stroke about six months ago and is on a paltry disability check. He is 30 now and doesn't even have full control of his body yet. His whole right side is almost disabled. I spent most of last night just massaging and rubbing his weakened muscles. He doesn't have anyone else to do this and I love doing it for him.
I have never been so happy as being with him in my entire life.
 
killdawabbit said:
Has anyone else just loved another guy regardless of suspicion and keeping score?
I mean really freely loved expecting hurt maybe but not caring?
And giving and not expect anything back? And yes I mean money also. What's money really worth if you can't share it with the ones you love? Is buying something for myself going to make me feel better than buying him something he really needs? To me it doesn't matter what the other guy's thoughts or intentions are. If I waste time on that crap I'm losing time I could just love him.
I'm just posting this because I am in this situation. And I wondered if anyone else is.
It's kind of hard to get past what the 'world' tells us and just give it away for free.
Anyone else wondering about this?

NO, my name is not Pollyanna. :-)
Click to expand...

go read it

Yeah;)
 
My only advice to you is to do a bit of reading on co-dependency. We all at times might want to do something altruistic but most of us have a cut off point. It sounds like you are more generous than most. That could be a good thing, but perhaps not especially if your family of origin had alcoholism or other addiction issues. I hope all is well for you.
 
I can kind of see where the OP is comig from on he money aspct. I know I can't help but spoil my BF. Even whn he doesn't want me to. I just enjoy spending money on him. But its the same with my family. Id rather spend my money on things for people I love then on things for me. Every once in a while I'll indulge myself ith something fun and fancy,but usually I buy it for smeone else instead.
 
I've read quite a bit on co-depency and I'm prone to it. But I've made a lot of progress over the last ten years or so. I believe I would go on better than in the past if I lost this person.
No family history of alcoholism until me. :-p

Thanks, Musik. I would never know where the 'cut-off point' would be other than running out of money altogether.
 
Ravenstar, that is in the back of my mind. But I try to keep it just there.
Love is nearly always one-sided it seems to me. I am pretty much in love with him and I know he doesn't feel the same exactly.
But if you're really going to love someone how can you hold in your mind what may be totally erroneous suspicions?
 
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