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Don't know what to do...

G-Lexington said:
An e-mail is fine, but a phone call would be better. You can always say, "I have something I wanted to talk to you about, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to articulate what I really wanted to say, so I wrote out a letter that I'd like to read to you." And then, read the letter.

Lex
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I really like that idea.

A friend of mine also suggested using our webcams to chat, since it would be like being in person. (we've done it before, but nothing so serious)
 
Just start telling people. Just say it. The more you do it and the more you realize people aren't going to have that bad of reactions (depending on where you live), the easier and more natural it will get to just casually mention it if brought up.
 
saymyname said:
Just start telling people. Just say it. The more you do it and the more you realize people aren't going to have that bad of reactions (depending on where you live), the easier and more natural it will get to just casually mention it if brought up.
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That's exactly how I feel! I'm still a little scared, but I just want to start telling people who I really am.
 
I came out to several friends through email, and it turned out great. They were all really, really cool about it. One of them actually called me the next night about it and we talked for quite a while.

I think if you feel more comfortable doing it through email, do it that way. Whatever way works best for you is the right way. I remember right before I hit "send" on the email I was sooooo nervous!! My heart was pounding so hard. Then all I could do was sit and wait.

But the responses were incredible. It was then I realized how loving my friends really were.

I'm sure it will turn out okay for you Droid ..|
 
What happens sexually between two consenting persons is their business; sex is personal and private. There is no need for others to know until such point as your public activity makes it plain that you have chosen a same sex partner and intend to live as a committed couple.

Heterosexuals get married and we assume they have sex. Some same sex couples are doing the same thing when they marry where such is allowed. and we may assume they will have sex.

Yet, I thought of myself as a regular guy all through two years of homsexual activity with a teen classmate. Eventually we both married but for the life of me I can imagine no advantage to anyonw had we made know our homosexual activity to others. Had we done so we would have been toast; our town had its share of morality snoops.
 
conrad said:
What happens sexually between two consenting persons is their business; sex is personal and private. There is no need for others to know until such point as your public activity makes it plain that you have chosen a same sex partner and intend to live as a committed couple.

Heterosexuals get married and we assume they have sex. Some same sex couples are doing the same thing when they marry where such is allowed. and we may assume they will have sex.

Yet, I thought of myself as a regular guy all through two years of homsexual activity with a teen classmate. Eventually we both married but for the life of me I can imagine no advantage to anyonw had we made know our homosexual activity to others. Had we done so we would have been toast; our town had its share of morality snoops.
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I get where you're coming from, but I feel like I'm hiding something important from her. It isn't so much that she deserves to know; instead I view it as something that she has the privilege of knowing about me. Just as I would expect her to tell me about major changes in her life, such as marriage or a big job change, I think its reasonable for me to think that she expects the same in kind.

BTW, I just finished the 'letter'. I basically poured my heart onto the pages, and let her know exactly how I feel and why. I'm also including a couple of songs with the email, since we have a history of exchanging 'mix tape' cds whenever we have a big event in our lives or just need to get feelings off our chests. I'm going to give it to some of my gay friends to look over before I send it, just to make sure there aren't any glaring issues that might offend her.
 
I just sent it to her. I had to go to my local Panera since my home internet was on the fritz, and I almost broke down after it confirmed that it went out.

I can't really describe the feeling I have right now. Its part euphoria and 'high', and part sheer terror waiting for a response.
 
I'd say there's a 99% chance that the first part will remain, and the last part will go away, once you get a response. :)

Lex
 
I finally was able to get a hold of my friend today, and she explained why she hadn't responded. She's an actress in Buffalo, NY, and right now is her busy season. She's had zero time to do anything except the shows she's in, and she hasn't had enough free time to set aside to call me.

Unfortunately, I was at work when she told me this through text message, so we couldn't talk. She did say that she loves me and supports me, and she's there for me. That's a HUGE load off my shoulders.
 
Now onto the hard stuff. I'm planning on telling my sisters next, and then my parents. THAT should be a terrifying experience.
 
i think it's strange that she didn't get back to you even if she was busy. I would have said, whoa, no way, we have to talk, but I'm so busy right now with blah blah blah so you would have at least gotten a response.
 
spencer said:
i think it's strange that she didn't get back to you even if she was busy. I would have said, whoa, no way, we have to talk, but I'm so busy right now with blah blah blah so you would have at least gotten a response.
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Well, maybe it wasn't a surprise for her. And you have to understand, this girl isn't shocked by anything really. She may have also been waiting for me to call instead. Whatever the reason, it doesn't really matter. She's accepted it and I'm ecstatic about it.
 
Another question;

How the heck should I approach telling my family? My sisters I'm going to have to tell over the phone since they're both on the east coast, but I see my parents every weekend.

Is there any easy way to broach the subject?
 
Read through the sticky on this forum 'How to Come Out'.
 
Not so sure that telling your sister first is the best way to go!! If it gets back to your parents it may cause problem. But that is for you to answer as you are there we are not.
 
I just got through telling my sister.

Her first words were 'I know this doesn't make any different, and you shouldn't have been worried about how I would react'. The rest of the conversation was sort of hard; there were lots of yesses, I knows, and uh-huhs.

I'm not sure how to feel right now. I'm happy to be sure, but beyond that it feels sort of like being in the middle of a lake, treading water, and its pitch black outside. That might not even be the best analogy, but I can't really find the words.
 
Good for you. I took my sister to Baskin Robins (she's in her 30's). She laughed in disbelief and I had to tell her, yes, seriously.

On to the parents!? I took my rents to the park and sat them down. LOL, I must have been into formal talks back then.
 
spencer said:
Good for you. I took my sister to Baskin Robins (she's in her 30's). She laughed in disbelief and I had to tell her, yes, seriously.

On to the parents!? I took my rents to the park and sat them down. LOL, I must have been into formal talks back then.
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I was worried that I'd get that kind of reaction, but I didn't. I guess it helps that my sister worked with a gay man that's been with his partner for seven years, and she's still good friends with them both.

For me, the reason why I didn't tell my parents first was because I had no idea how they'd react. A good part of the discussion with my sister was about that; having her know is extremely reassuring, and she allayed my fears about my parents. I'm still freaked out about telling them, but I'm not as worried about how they'll react now.
 
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