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don't know what to think

I haven't noticed him helping anyone else. And if he did why me? Why not some hot chick doing some exercise wrong or even some buff dude if he goes that way? I don't think of myself as attractive physically so who knows.
 
Why are we having this discussion? Are you just looking for a "..and then he..." kind of thread? DO you really want advice about him? We don't know him, we weren't there, we have absolutely no idea what's going on, we have no idea what's in your head, and what isn't.

So either ask him out, ask him to hang out, or be prepared to wallow in confusion forever. You will never know - and we don't have your answer - if you won't do anything about it.
 
oregonbiguy said:
I haven't noticed him helping anyone else. And if he did why me? Why not some hot chick doing some exercise wrong or even some buff dude if he goes that way? I don't think of myself as attractive physically so who knows.
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Probably you because he can tell on some level you are into guys. Stop fumbling and go ask if he wants to hang out outside of the gym already!
 
hi oregonbiguy,

It seems to me that he likes you, so please don't bother about you being shy (or whatever). I tend to think he might well be one of those huge amount of friendly guys who just happen to be straight. So please be prepared that the guy is straight, and please also be prepared that loads and loads of straight guys don't bother at all that some guys happen to be bi (or gay).

I would like to advise you to keep talking with him about items like school / work (etc.). You might also ask him if he is on Facebook, as becoming FB friends with each other is another way to keep contact with each other.

You seem to be living as an open guy, so I don't think you should bother too much about him finding out you are bi.

Good luck and take care.
 
checkinthingsout said:
Since you say you are terribly shy, you may also try just seeing if you grab his attention in the gym next time and wave to him while creating eye contact and smiling, to see if he comes over himself. But still your best bet is to talk with him and see if he wants to grab a drink/coffee/smoothie after one of your workouts.

IMO I think he was hitting on you because in my experiences, guys being helpful in the gym usually is around the equipment and heavy weights area where the exercises are more intense, where as the abs/ mats area is basically a wind down/stretch/socialize place for guys.
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Nah. I don't think that at all. I worked out in the 60s, before anyone was working out, and guys would offer hints to other guys all the time. It was a community back then.

At some point, a person has to get out of himself, because self absorption holds you back from knowing others. Take a small step, go thank him for his advice the last time, and tell him that if he sees you doing anything wrong (bad form, common in gyms), to please feel free to come over and make suggestions. That's you, inviting someone else into your personal space whenever they wish to come over. If he's really a helpful person, he'll be watching you to make sure you do the exercises in good form, and he won't ignore it when you use poor form. And if he wants something more, it'll evolve naturally. And it doesn't hurt to smile at others, even if inside you're dying. Don't worry about the rejection (which is what is scaring you), just stay present. People afraid of rejection are usually re-living something that happened in the past. He might really enjoy you coming over to him. Is he popular in the gym? Does he help others? Do others acknowledge him?
Alternately, just observe him and see how he is in the gym with others, and that might give you a clue as to his intentions. If he never offers to help anyone else, you have a clue. You might've looked like someone who would accept help, so he did. I do that, and at one point, I was accustomed to being one of the two or three most built guys in the gym (in the 70s, before it was the thing to do), and I was always offering to spot guys. I still do it now, and my gyms is families and straight (mostly) guys. I don't do with an ulterior motive, I do it because it's my nature. Maybe it's his, too.
 
So far I've never seen him help anyone else. But I only seem to meet him on Wednesday mornings. Told me.the first time I talk with him he likes to come by after work. One things I absolutely know is his exercises work. Definitely feel it in my abs today. Wish I could get abs but even when I was skinny I couldnt get them
 
You can just go "wanna grab a beer?" or something and get to talk to him in another setting. Seems to me like there's nothing there, but if it is you'll never find out if you don't even try to talk to him.
 
You're overthinking the situation.

A guy was nice enough to show you some workout tips and he chatted with you a bit.

It's a shame that we attribute nice behavior to some sort of ulterior motive.

If you run into him again, thank him again for the tips. Tell him that it's really helped your workout. Have a casual chat. Disengage and go finish your workout.

If there's anything else going on, you will know over time. If the two of you have a really good chat and you want to continue the chat elsewhere, then invite him to go grab a protein shake or a coffee. On the other hand, he just may be a "gym friend"- a guy that you chat with at the gym but never spend time with out in the real world.
 
I must totally be superficial cause now there is one of the employees there that I can't get enough of so nice and so hot. Don't even know the guy. :(
 
Half a year later after I first started this and still so shy no confidence built up. Was getting imaging work done at the hospital in Salem and what luck I get a handsome guy technician. He made small talk and I may it back. Part of the back of my mind told me "tell him he is cute". But I didn't :( always so afraid of what someone could say. Maybe they get way offended I don't like confrontation. What do you guys think. Should I just go for it in these situations? Am I right to be concerned about someone having a verbal outburst? He did a great job with the imaging though I will definitely give him that.
 
I would recommend not to. I did this once, telling someone he was handsome and there was no reaction but I felt awkward just the same. It's too direct, you're right they could take it badly and in general I would suggest not to show your "desperation" to others, you will scare them. You can keep being nice to them, they will surely appreciate more, and if anything is destined to happen... then so will be :)
 
It's a shame that we attribute nice behavior to some sort of ulterior motive.

If you run into him again, thank him again for the tips. Tell him that it's really helped your workout. Have a casual chat. Disengage and go finish your workout.
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This................................
 
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