Don't think I'm being true to myself

[ChcgoCuban]

Here's a bit about me:

21 bi, grew up very religious. A year ago i converted to a faith that is anti-gay and has small congregations. I should mention, I joined because I believe their theology though dosage with their anti-gay stance.

Anyways, u have experimented a couple times with guys (never a date, only oral). And now I'm realizing it's my final year of college in a big city, may have to move to a small town for work in less than a year. I think I should explore myself and see what and who I like. Especially my love and attraction to much older men.

Just in this place where I don't know if I can convince myself to go from chatting online to meeting in person.

Anyone can help?

 

[Telstra]

You can be true to yourself.
The only thing it will take is time. Don't listen to crap preaches.
Just read the bible and think for yourself instead of letting these preaches think for you.

 

[aaggii]

Or you could realize that every religion is a money scam full of bullshit that goes against evolution and individual freedom (too much?) and start enjoying your life. There are lots of intergenerational couples out there.

 

[Taralen]

Just let shit happen the way it does. Focus on getting your degree and shit. From what it looks like you have more important priorities you need to figure out. For example being in a homophobic congregation.

 

[Disturbance]

Or you could realize that every religion is a money scam full of bullshit that goes against evolution and individual freedom (too much?) and start enjoying your life. There are lots of intergenerational couples out there.

+1
Totally agree.

 

[Seasoned]

You'll do better and be happier and more content being surrounded by like individuals rather than trying to conform to a belief system. Anything in life that makes you feel bad about yourself isn't healthy for you.

Live life feely, fearlessly and positively. Belonging to a church or religion is voluntary. If it's important to you to belong to a Church find one that accepts and welcomes you.

 

[Ganoderma]

hi ChcgoCuban,

Good that you have posted this question over here. So you wrote "I'm realizing it's my final year of college in a big city" and "I think I should explore myself and see what and who I like."

You are totally right and I would strongly advise you to explore yourself and try to find out what you like and who you like.

I will disclose that I am an atheïst (= a non-believer). I agree with #6. Please note that faiths which are anti-gay will not accept that you will get engaged with a guy.

What's the benefit of belonging to such an anti-gay group?

I would like to wish you all the best. Feel free to react.

 

[checkinthingsout]

Here's a bit about me:

21 bi, grew up very religious. A year ago i converted to a faith that is anti-gay and has small congregations. I should mention, I joined because I believe their theology though dosage with their anti-gay stance.

Anyways, u have experimented a couple times with guys (never a date, only oral). And now I'm realizing it's my final year of college in a big city, may have to move to a small town for work in less than a year. I think I should explore myself and see what and who I like. Especially my love and attraction to much older men.

Just in this place where I don't know if I can convince myself to go from chatting online to meeting in person.

Anyone can help?

I know it is hard to do, but I think you should set religion on the back burner for a little bit and explore and understand your sexuality and what you like. In time, I think you can learn how to better reconcile your lifestyle and attractions with your specific religion, or join a church that isn't anti-gay (I'm sure they exist, you just have to do some research) but I think first you need to understand what that lifestyle might look like.

You can go from chatting on line to actually meeting a person. I've done it, others have done it. I think first you should understand what you want out of meeting a person. Sex? an exclusive relationship? something in between? When I was in your situation a few years ago, I was just looking for sex, as I was lacking a means of authentic sexual expression. It felt good, but ultimately it made my already low self-esteem even lower at the time, which took a few years to build back up.

In hindsight, I wish I had gone for something that was more like a fwb situation, because sex became very transactional to me, and I think its always better when you are using it to connect on some level with someone you are attracted to beyond a physical level. So my advice is to find someone you can hangout with and have sex with so that you can hopefully avoid the spiral I went through in seeking out sex and avoiding an actual connection with another man. It will start to put in perspective how you can be happy in a gay/bi lifestyle, if that is what you choose.

Remember there is nothing wrong with being seen with a guy in public. Chicago is a huge playground, so you can still hangout outside of a bedroom and non of your friends/family would ever know. So I would meet for a drink or coffee or whatever with a guy you first choose to meet up with, or at the very least sometime after you mess around for the first time.

 

[TX-Beau]

I'm confused, are you not being "true to yourself" because of religion, or being gay?

 

[hylas]

I don't think it's smart to surround yourself with people of that faith. Just read your own thread title, man.