Double Standards

[Danugh]

I have a few questions

1) Why is it ok for girls/women (friends) no matter what age to walk hand in hand with each and noone thinks anything of it but if ever 2 men (friends) walk hand in hand people think they are gay or in some homophobic societies would cause said two men to get beat up.

2) How is it that a woman can tell another woman she is some more but they escape me at the moment but just thought isexy/pretty/hot or compliment a body part and noone thinks anything of it but, if a man tells another guy "you look good" or "your hot" or "nice abs" or "cute smile" or "you look good in that outfit he would be considered gay?


3) Why at clubs ladies are always free before midnight? (In that case at gay clubs, bottoms should be free before midnight too.)

4) At clubs girls can dance on each other playfully but if 2 guys ever try that it would cause a scene?

Feel free to share your thoughts and add more double standards if you see any.

 

[gsdx]

The answers are painfully obvious, unfortunately.

 

[Andreus]

you seem to be wrestling with something, judging from all the threads you've started tonight.

are you attracted to one straight guy in particular and having a hard time with it? Is he? are you worried about your urges with him and need to justify taking actions on them?

if thats the case, and you are also dealing with coming out as well, or the fears about having sexual contact with other men while you are in the closet, we can talk about that.

we have all had these questions.

just remember that men are not like women, and when two men have a relationship, its not at all like a relationship between a man and a woman. It is an entirely different dynamic.

bottom does not equate with woman.

you have to throw out all you know about what is normal and open your mind to an entirely different kind of thing.

 

[wentworth]

I have a few questions

1) Why is it ok for girls/women (friends) no matter what age to walk hand in hand with each and noone thinks anything of it but if ever 2 men (friends) walk hand in hand people think they are gay or in some homophobic societies would cause said two men to get beat up.

Not all "homophobic societies" would punish men for holding hands. In some cases it's common, because sexual possibilities are unthinkable. So nobody has to "worry" about anything.

2) How is it that a woman can tell another woman she is some more but they escape me at the moment but just thought isexy/pretty/hot or compliment a body part and noone thinks anything of it but, if a man tells another guy "you look good" or "your hot" or "nice abs" or "cute smile" or "you look good in that outfit he would be considered gay?

Men can tell other men that they look good, but the context is usually limited and specific; and the language is usually not that direct.
I am not convinced, like many people, that that is some huge "loss"/ unfortunate situation. It really doesn't matter to me.
I wouldn't get anything out of telling a straight man he is "hot", and gay men wouldn't care.

3) Why at clubs ladies are always free before midnight? (In that case at gay clubs, bottoms should be free before midnight too.)

Because women are rarer. They are more likely to be less sociable, so they need incentives to come out. Thsi also ensures thatthe guys (who drink and thus spend more) will have an incentive to come out.
[In that case, for gay clubs, tops wuld be free before midnight, not bottoms.]

4) At clubs girls can dance on each other playfully but if 2 guys ever try that it would cause a scene?

I think you know why here. But I do not think most guys would even want to dance on another guy anyway. Who knows.

 

[Orlandude]

They are women. You aren't. It's as simple as that. This remains a "straight" world as well as a homophobic one. Women will always be looked upon as more "acceptable", regardless of their behavior.

 

[slobone]

Because women don't care and straight guys think it's hot? Which leaves only gay men to object, and we've got enough problems of our own, honey.

 

[gmoney]

you seem to be wrestling with something, judging from all the threads you've started tonight.

are you attracted to one straight guy in particular and having a hard time with it? Is he? are you worried about your urges with him and need to justify taking actions on them?

if thats the case, and you are also dealing with coming out as well, or the fears about having sexual contact with other men while you are in the closet, we can talk about that.

we have all had these questions.

just remember that men are not like women, and when two men have a relationship, its not at all like a relationship between a man and a woman. It is an entirely different dynamic.

bottom does not equate with woman.

you have to throw out all you know about what is normal and open your mind to an entirely different kind of thing.

Andreus, you hit the nail on the head!

Newboy, listen to him! he is so right! A man to man relationship cannot be compared to any other.
Having said that, you need to see what eveyone else considers "normal". We are less than 3% of the general population, but there are still many of us! Consider where you choose to socialize and make the needed changes. You will be much happier after you make that realization!

 

[Rafik]

1) Why is it ok for girls/women (friends) no matter what age to walk hand in hand with each and noone thinks anything of it but if ever 2 men (friends) walk hand in hand people think they are gay or in some homophobic societies would cause said two men to get beat up.

East and south of the Mediterranean it is normal that guys and young adults are walking hand in hand through the streets, or arms enwinded the shoulders. Sometimes you see it even among elder men. Not seldom. it happens that people under relaxed conservation play with each others hair, ears or hands or put their hands on the others thigh. Different culture, different body feeling, diffrent taboos.

2) How is it that a woman can tell another woman she is some more but they escape me at the moment but just thought isexy/pretty/hot or compliment a body part and no one thinks anything of it but, if a man tells another guy "you look good" or "your hot" or "nice abs" or "cute smile" or "you look good in that outfit he would be considered gay?

Depending on the situation it's also possible East and South of the Mediterranean. You even hear; "I love you!" But there is another social concept of love down there.

3) Why at clubs ladies are always free before midnight? (In that case at gay clubs, bottoms should be free before midnight too.)

​

4) At clubs girls can dance on each other playfully but if 2 guys ever try that it would cause a scene?

The most normal among Arabs and Turks - even among the most europeanized ones. Playfully: yes. Caressing: no.

 

[Rafik]

you seem to be wrestling with something, judging from all the threads you've started tonight.........

I first read your post now and checked it as well. I think you are right and hit the nail on the head. ! بالضبط

 

[Andreus]

The most normal among Arabs and Turks - even among the most europeanized ones. Playfully: yes. Caressing: no.

http://www.kelma.org/PAGES/LIVES/videos_rimitti.php

 

[Danugh]

Why can girls refer to their friends that are girls, as girlfriends, but a guy can’t refer to his male friends as boyfriends, hence he will be perceived as a homosexual?

This guy made the mistake of introducing his friend as his boyfriend and boy was he the butt of ridicule most of the day.

Girls get away with doing so many things and society thinks nothing of it, but if a man ever attempts to do some of those things, he would be labeled a homosexual.

We need changes.

 

[RationalLunacy]

1) Why is it ok for girls/women (friends) no matter what age to walk hand in hand with each and noone thinks anything of it but if ever 2 men (friends) walk hand in hand people think they are gay or in some homophobic societies would cause said two men to get beat up.

Women wash their hands. Men do not. Two men holding hands is unsanitary.

2) How is it that a woman can tell another woman she is some more but they escape me at the moment but just thought isexy/pretty/hot or compliment a body part and noone thinks anything of it but, if a man tells another guy "you look good" or "your hot" or "nice abs" or "cute smile" or "you look good in that outfit he would be considered gay?

If you compliment most men on their bodies and/or outfits without noticing their accessories (jewelry, pearls, makeup, etc.), they will become highly offended and beat you up.

3) Why at clubs ladies are always free before midnight? (In that case at gay clubs, bottoms should be free before midnight too.)

Ladies are free before midnight because after midnight straight men get drunk and desperate, and the women become more expensive by the hour.

4) At clubs girls can dance on each other playfully but if 2 guys ever try that it would cause a scene?

Men wear work boots and can cause serious damage to their dance partner's toes if they dance with each other. Hence, it is forbidden.

 

[Danugh]

I just overheard some men talking about how ugly this other guy was and thats perfectly fine for them to call him ugly butt if one of them ever called him sexy or hot, that guy would be jeered and riducled and thought of as being a homosexual.

If a man can call another man ugly why cant he say that another man is sexy without being gay?

 

[Pegasus69]

3) Why at clubs ladies are always free before midnight? (In that case at gay clubs, bottoms should be free before midnight too.)

I can't believe that I am reading this comment on a gay site. So, you apparently buy into the narrow opinion that any gay male who is a bottom is also less masculine.

We need changes.

Yes, things do need to change. We have come a long way from the time I was in high school or my early 20's, but there is still so much more that needs to change. But, the only way that will happen is when gay men allow themselves to be a visible part of the community and society in general. Unfortunately, too many are waiting for everyone else to do the work and take the risk (hint....hint....).