"Mummy loves you" Mum hugged me tightly. I can feel her warm, her heartbeat, her soul. I hold on to her more tightly, pushing myself more to her, grab her tightly around her back, afraid at some point, I'll lose her. "Mummy, don't ever leave again, okay?" I whispered to her ears, dug my face into her shoulder and blush. "Mummy didn't leave. You know that. Mummy is always there for you." She gently patted my back. I love this feeling of love. I feel cherished, care and being held.
And then,
She is gone.
Everything went pitch black. I can't see a thing. I turned my head and observed the atmosphere. It is cold. I can feel those chilly cold breeze brushed through my skin. I shivered. Where am I. "Mum!!!!" I took a step forward. "Mum!!! Where are you?" I started to walk ahead with a fast pace. My heart starts beating like crazy. What is going on? "MUM!!!!" I ran and shouted with all I could. "MUM!!!" I yelled, again and again. Out of the blue, there is a soft white light shaped like a door ahead of me. I was mesmerized. I didn't move a inch. I stood there and look at it. I have this uneasy feeling about this but my curiosity urged me to walk to it. My feet, against the will of my brain, took a step forward. Stop. Please stop. I tried to grab my legs and make it stop. I punched my right leg hard. Stop moving. Please stop. I looked ahead, I am just a few steps away from this light. Sweats dripped from my head. No. Please. Don't. I am starting to gasping for more air. My heart started to beat irregularly, I clutched my left chest with right hand.
One step away.
I was blinded by the light. All I see is just bright white light.
I stepped toward the light.
No. No. No. Please. Not this. NOT THIS. NOT THIS. My eyes widen, my iris constricted.
NOT THIS. NOT THIS.
I grabbed my head with both of my hands, pulling my hair, rubbing my head with exert force.
In front of me, there is a brown coffin. I know that coffin. I took a deep breath and took a step forward.
There lies a woman with a white dress.
NOT THIS. NOT THIS.
Tears are flowing out of my eyes. I clenched my hands forming a ball of fist. Green veins are visible.
It is her. The woman I love.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, I woke up.
My face was all wet. My bed sheet was all wet. It must be my tears and sweats. I took a deep breath. This is the third time of this same dream.
And, I cried.
So hard.
Dear God, please save me.
And then,
She is gone.
Everything went pitch black. I can't see a thing. I turned my head and observed the atmosphere. It is cold. I can feel those chilly cold breeze brushed through my skin. I shivered. Where am I. "Mum!!!!" I took a step forward. "Mum!!! Where are you?" I started to walk ahead with a fast pace. My heart starts beating like crazy. What is going on? "MUM!!!!" I ran and shouted with all I could. "MUM!!!" I yelled, again and again. Out of the blue, there is a soft white light shaped like a door ahead of me. I was mesmerized. I didn't move a inch. I stood there and look at it. I have this uneasy feeling about this but my curiosity urged me to walk to it. My feet, against the will of my brain, took a step forward. Stop. Please stop. I tried to grab my legs and make it stop. I punched my right leg hard. Stop moving. Please stop. I looked ahead, I am just a few steps away from this light. Sweats dripped from my head. No. Please. Don't. I am starting to gasping for more air. My heart started to beat irregularly, I clutched my left chest with right hand.
One step away.
I was blinded by the light. All I see is just bright white light.
I stepped toward the light.
No. No. No. Please. Not this. NOT THIS. NOT THIS. My eyes widen, my iris constricted.
NOT THIS. NOT THIS.
I grabbed my head with both of my hands, pulling my hair, rubbing my head with exert force.
In front of me, there is a brown coffin. I know that coffin. I took a deep breath and took a step forward.
There lies a woman with a white dress.
NOT THIS. NOT THIS.
Tears are flowing out of my eyes. I clenched my hands forming a ball of fist. Green veins are visible.
It is her. The woman I love.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, I woke up.
My face was all wet. My bed sheet was all wet. It must be my tears and sweats. I took a deep breath. This is the third time of this same dream.
And, I cried.
So hard.
Dear God, please save me.