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Drunk with "straight" best friend, something happened!

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fff1234

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We were hanging out with some friends and we ended up getting drunk. Now keep in mind that we were not wasted. I was drunk from beer and liquor, but I KNOW that 4 or 5 beers did not mess him up that badly...We always hang out and party and he always stays over so I didn't think anything of it. I recall a few times in the past when we would get home that he'd be like "wtf im horny hahaha" but i thought he was always joking around. First we end up in my room drunk and I'm just sitting here on the computer. For some reason he goes on with this ordeal on whether or not to sleep with his boxers under his gym shorts. At the time I just laughed it off and went about my own business. I have one of those tall fans and he stood behind it and dropped his shorts and laughed and told me to do the same. I was like uhh wtf..ok...Finally after all the laughing and stuff we decide to go to sleep. Next thing you know we're in my bed and bam...things start getting somewhere. I'll say it straight up. I jacked him off and then he INSISTED that I put it in him. He seemed to want it BADLY. I was shocked and I didn't want to because anal always seemed like a turn off. However, he kept on grabbing me and kept trying to get me to put it in him. So I decided there was a first time for everything and proceeded...but he made me stop because I guess it hurt. Then after he finishes he gets up and puts his clothes on and falls asleep. We wake up the next morning and he acts like nothing happened. It almost felt like a dream or something. I took him home and on the way I was quiet. He was all "damn I slept so good blah blah blah" I couldn't believe what happened. I was always bicurious but this was my first time doing anything. Idk if i even liked it...but now Idk what to do. Its been 4 days and we haven't talked or anything. I swore he was straight but now that I think about it I'm not sure. What straight guy wants to take it up the ass?! I don't even wanna do that! So I'm here on this forum clueless on what to do next and I thought maybe someone could help. Messing around with him again is the last thing I want to do...i dont wanna lose my best friend you know...:(
 
Well, if you're not interested in a repeat performance, and you want to keep him as a friend, just don't bring it up. Literally pretend it never happened. And if some miracle occurs and you find yourself back in the same position - friend "drunk", naked, and begging for it - just say "You remember how this went down last time - let's not go there again".

Lex
 
yep, g/l is right, sometimes the river in egypt is the best place to just wash away this memory..................
 
fff1234 said:
....So I'm here on this forum clueless on what to do next and I thought maybe someone could help. Messing around with him again is the last thing I want to do...i dont wanna lose my best friend you know...:(
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Based upon his morning-after behavior, one of two things will happen:
  1. He'll drift away slowly because he's embarassed and uncomfortable about his behavior while drunk. Or...
  2. The whole matter will remain un-discussed until the next time he's drunk- or at least drunk enough to repeat the whole thing again- because now he knows you'll go along with sloppy bad sex when you're drunk, too.
 
What's the old saying?.....the difference between a straight guy and a gay guy is a six-pack (well, in your friend's case, only 4-5).

Anyway, my personality would not let it ride...I'd be too curious to see what was in his head and, when we were both alone, mellow, and sober, I'd bring it up and discuss it (or try to).

If you do that, have a clear plan in mind as to what you want to accomplish in such a conversation...clear the air? do it again? have him admit he has curiosities like you do?

If you don't want to do that, then you don't have to--it doesn't appear as if he's going to bring it up anytime soon. However, there will always be this lingering mystery or wedge. You can bet 1) he remembers it and 2) has feelings about it, pro or con. I fear that if it's not brought up--if it's allowed to fester--the wedge will cool the friendship. That would be a shame, and totally unnecessary.
 
I'm in agreement with Eagle.

Since you don't want to do it again...simply just let him know it was fun and you have no regrets, but that your friendship is too important to you to mess it up with drunken casual sex.
 
I'd leave it alone unless he brings it up, friendship is more valuable, and unless it happens again then be more prepared and have lube/condoms.

And go with the flow, but be on notice that it could turn on you..
 
You aren't comfortable with it.

Don't repeat it.

There's nothing more pitiful than a 3 beer queer.
 
So should I just let it fly by and act like nothing happened in hopes that me and my friend stay close?

Or should I bring it up and try and figure out what is really going on with the both of us? I don't mean relationship wise. Just friendship wise.
 
Did you even read the responses?
 
yes i read them..

but i already texted him casually. he wrote back and then never kept texting me after that. i texted again asking if he worked and then i didnt get a text back. i called twice the next day but it was late. i assumed he was asleep but then the next day i still didn't hear a word from him. he's avoiding me obviously. so i dont know where to go from here...:/
 
so i dont know where to go from here...:/
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Well, for one thing, throw away your txtythingy. We're all totally numb from all these sterile, frantic stabs at developing an actual relationship based on badly spelled short form messages that convey nothing of substance.

You've worked your little thumbs to the bone trying to make him pay attention. He isn't. give up. Move on.

Develop friendships and relationships with people in real space and real time. You'll be amazed at how it all works.

And leave him alone.
 
and i can't believe a friendship would be done with over something stupid like this...i honestly thought i had a true friend..maybe he's just embarrassed and needs some space? idk...i haven't seen him since so I dont even know how i would feel around him now. I don't wanna make things awkward...but when you feel like you're losing someone it kinda hurts you know. if he was curious like i was, then i see no reason why he should just stop talking to me. it was HE who started the whole thing that night. i remember that. i'll just leave it up to him to get a hold of me. maybe he just needs his space or something... im not confused. i got my curiosities settled and I think i know where I am going from here. thanks for the help. any other advise is well appreciated.
 
It's a shame the only way you can contact people is by text. If only there was some way you could put yourself in their physical presence and communicate. Maybe Steve Jobs could get on that...

The main issue I'm seeing post-orgasm is your insistence that he keep talking to you. Which runs counter to what we've been suggesting. Mr Straight got drunk and insisted his gay friend fuck him in the ass. And said gay friend fucked him in the ass. This is probably not something he was expecting. He crossed a line he probably didn't think he was going to. He needs time to get his brain back into place. But there's gay friend texting yet again.

What you should have done is not bothered sending him any text at all. If several days went by without hearing from him, you could've contacted him and said "Perhaps we need to talk". Preferably face-to-face. And once you had him in front of you, you could have said something along these lines:

"Look, something happened several nights back. Something I don't think either of us were expecting to happen. But whatever you think of it, I still want to be your friend. If you want to talk about it, we can talk about it. If you want to bury it, I say it never happened. But don't shut me out here."

You might still do that last bit. But I'd give him a bit more time first.

Lex
 
yea i understand now...if anything I'll wait to see him in person and talk from there. We go to school together. So I will just talk to him there first. If he acts like nothing happened, then I will do the same. If he acts differently, then I will decide whether to ask him if he wants to talk or leave well enough alone. I look back at that night and a part of me regrets it, but then a part of me is glad that it happened. It sucks that it happened with this friend, but then again everything happens for a reason. He obviously wanted something to happen by his actions, and so did I because I went along with it. It was my 1st time with another guy, and I was curious. I don't really have these curiosities towards guys anymore though. I was just curious to how different it would be compared to a woman. I want to let my friend know all of this but like you said, I will just give it more time. I wont push him to talk to me. I wont text or call. Face to face is better than any text or call. And if he pretends like nothing happened, I will do the same. It isn't worth losing a friendship..but it isn't worth me stressing over so much.
 
Dude i tottalty get where your coming from it seems you already have a plan thought up in your head, n it sounds like a good one. My question tho is if this was your first guy was he aware of your curiosity? If
 
fff1234 said:
and i can't believe a friendship would be done with over something stupid like this...i honestly thought i had a true friend..maybe he's just embarrassed and needs some space? ,,.
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See #1 above.

This forum gets a lot of these scenarios. And the older members try to warn gay guys that sex with their confused or straight friends will change the relationship- and usually not for the better.

Think about this: you're a guy whose world is centered around being straight and "normal". You get drunk and not only flirt with a gay guy, you end up begging him to fuck you in the ass. And then, while you're trying to work through this mess (or you are just trying to forget it ever happened), the gay guy is calling and texting you which just brings the whole mess up again.

He's telling you he needs space. Give it to him. And accept that you might not be able to go back to the way things used to be.
 
This is so similar to my tread, how weird!! Except mine had no anal, lol.
 
no he didn't know of my curiosities. i always just wondered, i never pushed anything to happen with anyone. my main focus was with the ladies. i always thought of doing something with a guy as just experimenting. i didnt even know my friend was curioustoo. i always just thought he was joking when he would act gay whenever we would hang out. as i recall he would actually flirt when we would be f**ked up in the past but this night was the first time i ever let something happen. i never really gave him reason to think i was curious. i always just laughed him off each time. this time it just happened. seriously. sooo it makes sense if he needs time. he is probably shocked that i actually was curious and shocked at what HE did as well. so yea me trying to talk to him would probably make it uncomfortable. i get it now..
 
don't bring it up again it will piss him off just play it off like nothing happened i know thats hard cuz it did happen but just let it be natural but don't let him use u for just that cuz it'll make u feel like shit and than cause problems....trust me
 
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