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dumped

cosmoo

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hi all,
I've just been dumped by my 4month boyfriend.

Everything was going GREAT! until two weeks ago when we went on holiday with 10 of his friends.
I didnt get along great with his friends (not bad either) but I felt like I didnt belong in the group. I also was irritated with him sometimes due to some of his habits (smoking like a chimney) and the fact that I got little attention from him (which is always a bit the case when one of the couple has got his friends with him) and he was irritated with me being irritated with him..

During the holiday he didnt really want to do things with just us two (because of his irritations towards me).. so things didnt get solved

Now 4 days after the holiday, we decided we had to meet and talk about it.
I wanted to work on it.. after all it was the first time in 4 months things didn't go great and there's the saying 'a relationship without conflicts is no relationship' + whenever I got irritated with him I thought: 'what a stupid arse... yet I still love him'

Well, he told me that I irritated him alot during the trip though before he never doubted a second about us... But that during the trip he had the feeling sometimes "I wished he (me) wasn't here" and that his feelings for me are gone completely

so we split up and I havent heared him since...
So.. a clean break-up you would think?

But! right before the trip he got the news his parents are bankrupt and they could have to sell their house.. + he's gotten very bad exams in school...
So I know he's under a lot of stress, perhaps that has something to do with his drastic decision.

I just dont really know what to do.. should I mail him to say I'm here for him and I miss him (would make him realise that I really care for him.. but remember.. I Irritate him to death, so better not doing that?), should I just wait a couple of days/weeks to talk to him? (btw I told him I dont wanna see him anymore during the breakup)

what would you do if you were me?

thx for the advice
 
No. Work on you first. He gave you the courtesy of a clean break. Send him message of friendship stating that if he ever feels the need, he can talk to you. That way, you can pick up the pieces of your life, and if he's second guessing his decision, he can come to you instead of the other way around.
 
uhh...well...four months is barely a measurable amount of time really. plus 6-12 months is usually a honeymoon phase anyway. I say move on and dont worry about it. if he wants you back he will find you. Theres other guys out there.
 
I agree. Clean break. Spending that time together let you see the other side of eachother.

Don't despare. A lot of Princes turn out to be frogs before you find the one you click with. So keep your chin up.
 
Whatever his rationale for saying it's over, he said it's over. It's over. Move on.

Sorry. (*8*)

Lex
 
I just wanted to add an endorsement to what everyone here said: Move on. It's best for both of you. This one didn't work out, that's all.

As an aside, for some reason, I've always felt that relationships were put to the test during traveling together. I don't know what it is, but what's supposed to be relaxing and fun and a vacation/holiday always adds just enough stress to bring out the worst in people. It's during those times that either make or break relationships.

Good luck to you. As was mentioned above, if he wants to get in touch with you to talk, or whatever, he knows how to do it. Now, though, it's time for you to bow out gracefully and, more importantly, concentrate on you and finding your happiness.

Good luck, and sorry this happened. (*8*)
 
ok, I guess I'll do that
thx for all the (unanymous :)) replies. I know you guys are right, I just had to hear it to convince myself completely
thx guys!

x
 
Good for you. He doesn't sound like a bad guy and he could just want some space to deal with all his stuff. But the fact that he broke it off means something and you shouldn't let the unfortunate things that happened to him just before the trip be used as leverage to get back into his life (not that you said you were going to anyway).

I agree with everyone else though. He wants a clean break so give him that. :)
 
Dude,

If he wants you, he'll get in touch. You are still hanging out there.

He has dumped you. He may choose to reverse his decision. Really nothing for you to about it.

Yet another deadly sin in my books: He has not got his priorities str8. BF comes before his friends. BF gets more attention and he is whom you relate first to. Friends are fine. But a dude, young or old alike, must know the difference.

SC
 
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