Eating Disorders

[hazaleyez1975]

Hey guys,
I am 32 years old and I have an eating disorder. I have tried and tried to stop myself from throwing up. I have had weight issues since I was a child. I have been to Psychs and counselors. It has been two years since I seen a DR. about it. I am going next thursday. I do not want attention as everyone thinks that people who are not the norm are looking for. I want to stop. Everytime I eat I normally throw up. I amnot sure what it is called. they have told me what they think it is Bullima.(unsure) It has gotten so bad that people are noticing that the weight is coming from my face and I am looking sick. How can I get over this. I want to have a better self image. I once weighed over three hundred pounds. over four years ago. I now weigh 190 I am 6'5" tall I have a very large frame big boned. etc etc.

I was wondering if any one has went through this and if they had some honest answers.

Please do not reply to this post being a smart ass. I have had enough of that in person. I am reaching out to my Community.

Thanks for any help in advance that you guys may have.


I am adding a poll just for my own curiosity.

 

[8tomtoms8]

I hope you are going to see a medical doctor. I'm wondering if yours isn't a physical or mechanical problem. Throwing up EVERY time you eat doesn't sound so much like a mental issue as much as a physical one. Let us know what the Dr. says.

Good luck!!!!

 

[versatastic]

After you eat, do you induce vomiting yourself, or do you feel nautious to the point of vomiting?

Do you feel a need to have a sense of control over something in your life? Have you gone through a major life change recently or in the past aside from your weight loss? Do you fear regaining your weight? Aside from your bulimia, how have you adjusted to your new body? How did you lose the weight to begin with?

If there is some aspect of your life that you think you cannot change or some fate that you think you cannot avoid, whether you conscious of it or not, then bulimia may be a coping and/or protective mechanism to deal with your anxiety. It can be very empowering to know that you are in complete control of something. You can eat whatever you want whenever you want it. Nothing can limit you and no one can keep you from your specific desires. Then, when you think you've had too much to eat and may have gone out of control, you have to power to correct your mistakes yourself without anyone else interfering. Does any of that sound like it fits with your experience?

It may be the case that you've become habituated to vomiting after you eat. Kind of like smoking, you're addicted and can't stop even though you want to? Like before and during the act, you wish you could stop, but can't? Or perhaps this is a way of your subconsious mind to make you physically feel out of control to tell you that you have some unresolved issues to deal with. I hope that you can find someone to help you work through your issues and keep you on track. This is something that won't be dealt with easily, and it may never be fully resolved, but hopefully you can develop ways to stop yourself from vomiting.

 

[hazaleyez1975]

I lost the weight the first time through what is happening now, and walking after a break up with my first gay loverr.i see fat when i look in the miror.

 

[Rex]

I voted for all of the above.

I say get medical help. See a therapist. You probably already know what you need to do. You just need to do it.

 

[hazaleyez1975]

Thanks Versatastic,
I have read and reread your message and it seems all of what you wrote. I hate having this problem. I know it has damaged my body, I am not sure to what extent. I do have a low self esteem. I like my size and I am afraid of gaining the weight back.

I really appreciate the advice.
Hugs

 

[chatolandia]

You need medical help

and it takes years to work the issues associated with eating disorders


and sometimes, the do come back


Go get help, and work your issues, and hopefully you'll get better


unfortunately some of the damage you have done to your body will be irreversible, but you must stop doing more damage to your body

 

[hazaleyez1975]

There has been a lot of trauma in my life. To much to get into on here. I mean we all have issues. I dont want to sound petty we go through alot in life I just don't know how to cope with things. Thanks for replying Jess
Hugs

 

[dunno260]

Your taking the first step. Get some help and things should look up for you. I would try to find a therapist that specializes in eating disorders to help you as well (though finding a therapist that you mesh with is much, much more important than their specialty, but its a good place to start...).

The reasons why we hurt ourselves are mostly irrelevant in the question of should I get help. Its hurting you physically and emotionally and that should be more than enough to answer the question for anyone. Don't worry about your trouble in coping with the problems that life has thrown to you. Some people have learned appropriate methods of coping and others haven't. You can include me in the list of those that hadn't until I got help.

Best of luck to you. There should be people in Mobile who can help you (assuming its Mobile, Alabama your location refers to), if not I know that one of the hospitals in Birmingham has an inpatient program for eating disorders and can find the information for you if needed (just PM me).

 

[hazaleyez1975]

Thank you Dunno26 I am about an hour north of mobile and 3 hours from mobile. I am considering checking myself in toget some help It can get really bad when you eat once a day and then purge. It is not what I had planned to be doing at 32. Thank you for your reply.
Hugs Jess

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

neither.. if i wanna use laxatives to lose weight its my choice. I dont need medical attention.. have low self esteem... or want general attention. I think that stuff is so overrated. My body is my choice. So many people smoke ciggs and i dont tell them they need a doctor.