Effeminate straight guys

[palbert]

In my many years I have met outwardly butch guys who in bed were the nelliest thing imaginable; and I've met outwardly nelly guys who in bed were aggressively top. I don't believe in gaydar.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>But, about the "gaydar," you are not able to define what it is, or how it has worked? Are you not just validating guesswork and counting the times when it was lucky?

My gaydar is 100% accurate. Either they tell me they're gay, or they tell me they're straight, at which point it's obvious that they're gay and closeted, and just can't admit to themselves or anybody else. See? 100% success rate.

Lex

 

[sokker]

But, about the "gaydar," you are not able to define what it is, or how it has worked?

Are you not just validating guesswork and counting the times when it was lucky?

Radar picks up objects based on actual principles. "Gaydar" sounds like wishful thinking, or picking up empirical behaviors that by definition become stereotypical. No?

You are essentially arguing that straight men cannot evince feminine traits, thereby you are reinforcing classical stereotypes of the masculine and feminine.

I pick on subtle hints.. it can be everything from voice, fashion, body language, mannerisms.. sometimes I can't even put my finger on WHAT it is that makes me realize he's gay... like, sometimes with effeminate people my gaydar pings, but it pings when it's more masculine gays too.. guys who are not "obviously" gay. I really can't explain it.. the gaydar.. it just picks it up.

And well.. effeminate guys may exist, it's just that I have never seen someone being THIS obviously effeminate being straight.. I guess they do exist, but I still think that most of the time they're closeted or in denial.. again, effeminate straight men are not a dime a dozen. I think most effeminate men claiming to be straight are hiding something.. it's just my opinion, SOME are straight, sure.. but many of them are in the closet.

 

[G-Lexington]

OK then. So this guy is in the closet. Then what? You gonna pull him out?

Lex

 

[refujiunderground]

I pick on subtle hints.. it can be everything from voice, fashion, body language, mannerisms.. sometimes I can't even put my finger on WHAT it is that makes me realize he's gay... like, sometimes with effeminate people my gaydar pings, but it pings when it's more masculine gays too.. guys who are not "obviously" gay. I really can't explain it.. the gaydar.. it just picks it up.

And well.. effeminate guys may exist, it's just that I have never seen someone being THIS obviously effeminate being straight.. I guess they do exist, but I still think that most of the time they're closeted or in denial.. again, effeminate straight men are not a dime a dozen. I think most effeminate men claiming to be straight are hiding something.. it's just my opinion, SOME are straight, sure.. but many of them are in the closet.

i think you just don't want to admit that you're wrong and your gaydar is off.

with that said, i think this one guy who i used to see all the time come into my job but moved out of town because he's going away to college is probably gay. i see him around some chick which is probably his girlfriend or his lady friend. either that or i'm attracted to him. he isn't all that good looking but there's something about him which makes me want to hug him and smell his body odor. hopefully he smells good. there was something about the way he was acting, his body language and all that suggested that he seemed like he was i guess interested in me or whatever. he's very masculine too. very masculine. i notice that when i hope a guy is gay, i just happen to want to be with him. haha.

just wishful thinking though. i'd fuck if i had the chance. my gaydar is garbage. if a guy happens to be gay and i suspectify it.... shit, i don't know.

 

[lacrayfish]

Are you as equally shocked when you come across gay men who are masculine?

Why does it "really suck" that he's straight?

There are masculine gay guys and feminine straight guys. And feminine lesbians and masculine straight women.

It is what it is.

To me it seems odd a macho man with muscle, hair and tattoo or even beard would be gay. So out of character

 

[lacrayfish]

Are you as equally shocked when you come across gay men who are masculine?

Why does it "really suck" that he's straight?

There are masculine gay guys and feminine straight guys. And feminine lesbians and masculine straight women.

It is what it is.

To me it seems odd a macho man with muscle, hair and tattoo or even beard would be gay. So out of character
This is not mean to put down anyone, just my way of thinking

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>To me it seems odd a macho man with muscle, hair and tattoo or even beard would be gay. So out of character
This is not mean to put down anyone, just my way of thinking

You need to get out more, then.

Lex

 

[sokker]

OK then. So this guy is in the closet. Then what? You gonna pull him out?

Lex

Ugh.. I don't know. I may be wrong, maybe my gaydar is off this once. My gaydar does work like 90 % if the time, so maybe he's just one of those odd ones. Or he's in the closet, or he's bisexual.. Again, who knows.. I'll probably never know anyway.

I know effeminate straight guys do exist, but I still think they're in the minority, and that many, if not most, of the effeminate men are gay. No, I'm not saying all gays are effeminate, I know many gays are masculine. But of the effeminate men.. I think the chances of them being gay are pretty high, even though there's probably someone who's straight too.

I honestly don't know.. the subject do fascinate me though. I think it's interesting to discuss it

 

[G-Lexington]

Again, maybe he is straight. Or maybe he's closeted. Or maybe he just said "I'm straight" because he figured it was the best way to say no to you.

When I say "when a guy tells me I'm straight, I believe him", I don't deny the existence of the closet. I just accept that he's either straight, or wants me to think he's straight. And given that, either hitting on him or attempting to "pull him out" isn't really worth the effort. If he wants to explore further, he can contact me. But I won't wait up nights - there are plenty of other gay guys for me to interact with.

Lex

 

[figjam]

What's your opinion on them?

They mess up my gaydar! I noticed a guy who seemed gayer than gay, he had gay mannerisms, gay voice, he was overall effeminate.. he seemed quite gay. Then I found out he's straight and actually has a girlfriend! I don't know.. maybe he's bi, maybe he's in the closet, or maybe he just is a very effeminate straight guy. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it though.. in my eyes he's gay, but he obviously likes women. It's weird.

Effeminate guys - they just ... you know....

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

Having well managed hair and what society deems as "fashionable clothing" does NOT make you flamboyant or worthy of "gaydar reaction."

I'm sorry but if you have a lisp, and flip flop your wrist when talking, and like OMG talk like this, You're in the closet and you aren't fooling anyone. If you have OBVIOUS mannerisms I'ma call you out on bullshit. If you are dressing up in pink tights and have rainbow earings n bracelets and say you are straight walking down the street with your girlfriend, she is pretty stupid. She is being USED to mask someone's identity crisis. Its dishonest and SELFISH.

Closeted men who are DESPERATE to "Fit In" to society or deny self loathing are using METRO as an EXCUSE.

I dance around to Madonna in a jock strap with pink glittery shit with my hands on my hips and suck dick behind my girlfriend's back under bathroom stalls. I even know Judy Garland's Discography by heart. But because i CLAIM to be straight its MUST be true because I validated it by saying I'm METRO so that clears up any accusation. Its like the religious people taking offense for being called biased towards homos and playing victim.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

^Way too easy. Moving right along...

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

 

[refujiunderground]

Having well managed hair and what society deems as "fashionable clothing" does NOT make you flamboyant or worthy of "gaydar reaction."

I'm sorry but if you have a lisp, and flip flop your wrist when talking, and like OMG talk like this, You're in the closet and you aren't fooling anyone. If you have OBVIOUS mannerisms I'ma call you out on bullshit. If you are dressing up in pink tights and have rainbow earings n bracelets and say you are straight walking down the street with your girlfriend, she is pretty stupid. She is being USED to mask someone's identity crisis. Its dishonest and SELFISH.

Closeted men who are DESPERATE to "Fit In" to society or deny self loathing are using METRO as an EXCUSE.

I dance around to Madonna in a jock strap with pink glittery shit with my hands on my hips and suck dick behind my girlfriend's back under bathroom stalls. I even know Judy Garland's Discography by heart. But because i CLAIM to be straight its MUST be true because I validated it by saying I'm METRO so that clears up any accusation. Its like the religious people taking offense for being called biased towards homos and playing victim.

i think you need to stop. there are gay men that are effeminate like there are straight men that are effeminate.

by the way, who gives a fuck really? unless you want to fuck em, let them be. if they happen to be in the closet, let them have fun in the closet. speaking for myself, i've spent enough time in the closet to the point where i'm ready to jump out in rainbow drape wrapped around my head wearing a pink jockstrap. mom, my sociopathic father and my brother that is the exact opposite of me,i'm gay.

somebody kiss me.

 

[HunterM]

Effeminate straight guy...and creepy too

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

Steven Tyler is not effeminate.

He's flamboyant - there is a difference.

 

[navidzurender]

I have experienced that freakin confusion with my college mate, im sorry for the stereotype but he really sets up a gay vibe like his voice has this gayish tone (again sorry for the sterotype), he has this gay gestures, dress up nice, knows a lot of female pop songs ^^, doesn't have any bad bone in his persona like he's so freakin nice (i don't know how i relate that with gay lol), and he has a freakin girlfriend ^^. If he was probably gay, he'd be my ideal boyfriend but he's not

 

[asianstudlover]

What's your opinion on them?

They mess up my gaydar! I noticed a guy who seemed gayer than gay, he had gay mannerisms, gay voice, he was overall effeminate.. he seemed quite gay. Then I found out he's straight and actually has a girlfriend! I don't know.. maybe he's bi, maybe he's in the closet, or maybe he just is a very effeminate straight guy. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it though.. in my eyes he's gay, but he obviously likes women. It's weird.

i think very effeminate mostly ends up being gay but flamboyant is not necessarily gay. often times people are one or both. Musicians and actors especially can be flamboyant, but not effeminate per say.

 

[DigitalFudge]

A lot of men are just whimsical.