Eldergay

[xbuzzerx]

Re: Fucking a guy twice my age?

You know...now that you mention that...I have always HATED some the names some of the gay community uses.....

Daddy (BARF) Son (BARF) Cub (BARF) Bear (BARF) Twink (BARF)...and now Eldergay (BARF)....

For me...it just reduces people to nothing and they cease to be individuals. I have always hated it.

I thought about it many years ago and conceded that when you are in the process of describing someone and you use it as PART of a lengthy description then it is a slightly different context ...or if you want to describe yourself with those words...rock on...but just to categorize everyone solely with those words...I think it is rude.

I remember the first time someone called me a "daddy" FUCK YOU...I am not your fucking father. I think that is exactly what I told them.

Yup, you're definitely right that it erases individuality. When I think of the category "daddy", I don't think about just a group of guys who are a little upwards of age. I think about a specific fettish or turn-on people may have for their fantasy of some guy's dad back when they were 16 or something. It's definitely disconcerting to feel like someone giving you that label is saying that the way someone would process seeing you is through the filter of what kind of fettish you might satisfy, and not as an individual.

 

[G-Lexington]

Anybody who gets offended by the term "eldergay" would get offended at any term you would bestow.

Lex

 

[eastofeden]

I try not to use any word that marginalizes other people. Of course...I make mistakes and I correct them along the way.

I would hardly say the term offends me. ...and you don't have the power to offend me...I wouldn't give it to you.

The word annoys me because it marginalizes people...but so does the word twink.

I understand that I annoy you as well...and vice versa. We'll just leave it at that. I am cool with it.

PS..I forgot to answer the question...you and your boyfriend are the only people I have ever heard use that term.

 

[freefall]

I don't find it offensive, but it's not a hip name.

How about 'grandgay'? That sounds awesome.

 

[journo25]

I don't relate to the term or use it, but neither am I offended by it. I can see teenagers using it to describe guys in their 30s. It all depends on the frame of reference.

In the same vein, I have had salt and pepper hair since my mid 30s which is probably when I started getting called "silver daddy." That threw me for a loop at first since I didn't then -- nor do I now -- see myself as anyone's daddy. But offended? No.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Exactly, no one can offend you if you don't let them.

I've been called 'twink' a few times, labels don't bother me because that's just someone else's perception of what they think I am.

And intention is key for me, everyone has a different way of speaking.

It's less about offense and more about what it tells us about the user.

For example, if someone very frequently calls people fat, and has a very low threshold for at what point they label someone fat (a little chubby, 5 pounds over, not a twink, whatever) I'm not offended by what they said about other random people. But I do consider them a shallow, superficial person who has no regard for others and is happy to label and marginalize them based off something completely trivial.

And that changes my opinion of them accordingly.

 

[ElmosToe]

I was going to put in my vote, but there was no option for "is this the gay version of the game elder scrolls?"

 

[Taz]

The word can be fun or offensive depending on the context in which it is used.

I have seen the word used many times to paint older men (or even men that aren't that old) in a bad light, so it doesn't surprise me when they get offended at its repeated use. Personally I don't use it in any negative form for that reason.

 

[Taz]

I was going to put in my vote, but there was no option for "is this the gay version of the game elder scrolls?"

Hahaha, I would so play that.

The eldergays: Skyrimming

 

[xbuzzerx]

I do agree with that to an extent, but I also would rather get know a person before I judged them. Some people say things sarcastically or to take the piss. When people post anonymously on a message board they aren't always being serious.

While that's true, on message boards unfortunately our words and our choice of them are the only way anyone else knows us from a blip in the bandwidth.

 

[FPNY]

i like it better than being called douchnozzle...is there an e in there?

 

[palbert]

First saw it on this board.

It's a word.

 

[unloadonme]

Never heard it before. At what age does one qualify?

 

[palbert]

Never heard it before. At what age does one qualify?

69. One month away!

 

[unloadonme]

69 has always sounded like such a fun age.

 

[eastofeden]

Right, because me and Bender stated using it here, we just thought it was funny. We didn't think it was actually a real term, has anyone ever actually heard this word before? I'm pretty sure it's just made up. How anyone could be hurt by a made up word seems funny to me. It's used more as an inside joke by us. Just like tbaft, woad, nwoal. And people even get offended by our acronyms.

Is that actually why you think people get "offended" by you guys? WOW...

 

[xbuzzerx]

No, I don't know why people care what we do actually. Anyone who is seriously bothered by us should examine their priorities in life.

I am actually not 100% sure if you're aware of this or not, so I'll point it out in case you're not.

Notice how quickly things went from an apology -- to an explanation -- right back to "there's something wrong with you if the behavior I previously apologized for bothered you."

Just pointing this out to you since you seem flabbergasted in the other thread why people would think you engage in bad behavior and then play innocent about it.

 

[rareboy]

^ Seems to sum it up quite nicely.

I don't have a problem with 'eldergay' as long as the OP doesn't have an issue with 'kindergay' or 'babygay' to describe anyone under the age of 20. I have noticed, however, that the OP never uses it in that fun, light-hearted way that he would like to imply. It is always used as a pejorative.

 

[xbuzzerx]

pe·jo·ra·tive
[pi-jawr-uh-tiv, -jor-, pej-uh-rey-, pee-juh-] Show IPA
adjective
1.
having a disparaging, derogatory, or belittling effect or force: the pejorative affix -ling in princeling.
noun
2.
a pejorative form or word, as poetaster.
Origin:
1880–85; < Latin pējōrāt ( us ) (see pejoration) + -ive

Related forms
pe·jo·ra·tive·ly, adverb
non·pe·jo·ra·tive, adjective
non·pe·jo·ra·tive·ly, adverb
un·pe·jo·ra·tive, adjective
un·pe·jo·ra·tive·ly, adverb

Synonyms
1. deprecatory.


Just in case!

 

[refujiunderground]

well, the wordage is offensive because it sounds like you putting down someone for being up there in age. it says a lot about the person using it especially if they're your age.

you can't expect people to be considerate towards your feelings and whatever when you're ready to offend them or whatever.