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End Of A Friendship

  • Thread starter Thread starter moonrabbit
  • Start date Start date
rareboy said:
Oh mes enfants, it is tough carrying on like 14 year old school girls once you're grown up.

Once again, if what I see is any true indication, the ability of many people to express themselves through text message or email ranges from non-existent to disastrous. For Pete's sake, stop pissing away your lives and carpal tunnels by the endlessly inane chatter that passes for personal interaction.

At least with telephone, you had some idea of mood or intent behind a statement or question....now it is all emo blah blah.

Not only do I think you should move on, I think you should get out of the house and go somewhere where you can actually interact with people. Use email only sparingly, if at all and if you use texting for anything other than sell orders to your broker, just stop it.
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I'm having a very hard time understanding your message. What do school girls have to do with this?
 
moonrabbit said:
Online friend.
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Ok, this makes a lot of sense.

I know I'm going to get flak for this because this is a website that encourages online friendships but let me say this:

An online friendship will never exceed the value of a real-life friend. Sure, you exchange amazing heart-felt emails, chat online for hours, etc. but an online friend can disappear out of your life in a heart-beat. Why? Because they can and the internet is truly an anonymous environment to allow it. Digital technology cannot substitute the natural social needs and benefits of real human contact. It just can't.

You can't predict the psyche of an online friend. They are merely a wall of text and digital pixels to a .jpg file. Or a small window screen to a webcam. But they are not the friend you can touch, hug, or go out bowling with.

I had a teen crush on a boy from Ireland. I would rush home from school just to catch him before he went to bed. But one day, I never saw him online anymore. All of those afternoons of seeing him on webcam, chatting, wishing we could be with each other, sharing our passion with movies, all gone.

Don't put your heart behind a computer screen. There is real flesh and blood you can care and love for.
 
^ Very true.

Dude, if you don't have friends you can "reach out and touch" in the flesh, you have a problem. I lost almost all mine when I came out, but I'm not sitting at the computer relying on on-line friends, I'm out straining my time and budget going places to make new ones.

Like I said before, get your ass out of that room and get active.
 
You guys don't understand though. After graduating 2 years ago, the friends I had back then have either moved away or gone off to college. I did have 2 lesbian friends who lived across the street from me. But due to infidelity on both sides, they have broken up and moved away. I can't think of any places in Peoria to meet others. Since I'm not 21, I'm unable to go to a bar. It may sound pathetic, but the online world is all I have right now. And it beats being alone altogether.

As for Brad, he hasn't returned my message, so I'm done. Even if he one day decides he wants to talk to me again, I don't want to talk to him. What he did made me feel humiliated. Because it says that there is something so wrong with me that people have to make up excuses in order to distance themselves from me. I want nothing to do with him.
 
If you're the only one who knows about his failed porn celebrity, he might be closing that and you out of his life.
Unfair? Yes. But you have to respect his wishes.
At your age, you're on the threshold of a new and wonderful life. Don't look back, look forward. There are many exciting life experiences and people ahead for you.
It's not all sugar coated though, there probably will be some rejections and we have to deal with them too.
 
You can still use the "online world" to meet new people. Go to dating websites like myspace, dlist, manhunt. There's a site for every flavor of men. The main problem here is you've only had "ONE" serious online friend. Why not make more? Find some users here at JUB. You are in the middle of one, giant chatting community of online friends. It's like going to a burger joint and asking, "Where's the beef?" ;)
 
Go to a park; take a Frisbee, find someone to toss it back.

Go to a mall, find someone shopping and looking at things you like, use that to start a conversation.

Look up PFLAG and see what's on in Peoria.

Go to an internet cafe and look at the laptops; ask someone about his, like you're looking to buy one and want a personal opinion.
 
making friends is hellva lot easier then find a boyfriend. What are your interests in life? Seek out those interests and interact with the people who you find! Friends come in all shapes and sizes, ages etc....

For example if you play Magic the Gathering, find a storefront that has Friday Night Magic. Get out and about! :)
 
were you very good friends?
if yes,then write him back,ask whats wrong.
i have a friend and he is stupid latelly too,i wanna break his teeth and make him eat them,cos he is behaving strange without a reason.
so if you are really good friends try to contact him again,not in an apologetic way,if you feel pissed off,be pissed off.

if you arent so good friends,just forget about him,it wont be hard it will happen sooner than you can imagine.
 
unclaimedblessing said:
If you're the only one who knows about his failed porn celebrity, he might be closing that and you out of his life.
Unfair? Yes. But you have to respect his wishes.
At your age, you're on the threshold of a new and wonderful life. Don't look back, look forward. There are many exciting life experiences and people ahead for you.
It's not all sugar coated though, there probably will be some rejections and we have to deal with them too.
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I did respect his wishes. I haven't written him and actually don't want to. I don't think his porn career was the reason. We both share a friend who also knows about Brad's failed porn career and Brad is planning to visit him in a few months. So if that was the case, he'd cut our mutual friend out of his life too. I should add that I was friends with Brad before this whole porn thing started. So it's not like I was some groupie who wanted to be friends with a porn star. And if I was, I would've avoided him like the plague after I learned of his failure. But I stuck by him because he was my friend who meant a lot to me. Also, when he dealt with the tragedy of losing a friend who died in a flood, I tried to be the best friend I could by giving him my support. To treat me the way he did just shows how much I actually mattered to him. It's been a week, so it's time I stopped bitching about this.
 
moonrabbit said:
It's been a week, so it's time I stopped bitching about this.
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That's what we're here for, to hear you out and help you heal - and you will heal as long as you allow yourself to. Just don't keep ripping off the scab. The pain is still fresh and it's normal to still feel jilted. Do not let this event prevent you from living your life to the fullest!
 
rareboy said:
Oh mes enfants, it is tough carrying on like 14 year old school girls once you're grown up.
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rareboy, you just described the way I feel @ times with my 1st time gay love @ 50 years young, lol.
 
I'd like to add my two cents to the advice that you go out and meet real people. If you don't have an interest or hobby that you can pursue, volunteer for something. Every town and city has non-profit groups that run on volunteer labor. Go stuff envelopes for a political candidate, paint sets for a theater group. Your local library will have bulletin boards and the resource desk should have a listing of groups in your area. You will find it much more rewarding than the "virtual" friends on the internet.
 
Today, I sent Brad a letter, saying exactly what I think of him. And trust me, it wasn't pretty. I'm sure I'll never hear from him again. To make sure of that, I blocked him.
 
I got a message from Brad yesterday. Here's what part of it said.

"I ended our correspondence because your anger is toxic and exhausting to me. You seem really pissed off about lots of things. But I don't get to tell you how to be; you get to choose. So I will let you be you - just over there, so I end up with fewer stomach aches."
 
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