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Ending a friendship with the worst person on earth

  • Thread starter Thread starter J_Nite
  • Start date Start date
Great topic but I must go off topic for one second...:

Why does your orientation say that you're straight if you just got out of a relationship with another man?!
 
This whole situation is so F***ed up on so many levels. The only thing I can say is stay away from them all. If you don't you will end up regretting it. Something really bad is coming down the pike...... I can just feel it....... something about this whole thing just wreaks of "Fatal Attraction", and I'm not kidding.
 
To answer a few things, his side of the story is that he admits to everything i have stated except the part about wishing his friend had HIV (even though i have the email in which he says it). He now apologies for other things (private things which i will not go into details here). Other than that, he is being extremely apologetic and promising to go into counceling. I don't believe either of these lies because he lies so frequently. And you are right, he does not show remorse, he only says that he is sorry when it looks like he is going to lose something. Like a child if you take a favorite toy away, then he repeats saying that he is sorry. For the most part, i have told him in the past that it's not me he must apologize to, it's his friends and family that he has hurt. As for the comment about me labeling myself as "straight", I put that because i am not completely out yet, and until i am, it will continue to be labeled that way. I am not going to talk to him for at least a year, i have him blocked on messenger, dont answer his phone calls either. But i do read the emails he sends me, i just dont respond. I did, on the last time i talked with them, told his family that i want out of his life and that he is their problem again. I have tried several times in the past to get him treatment for his illnesses, but it all seems to be in vain. Judging from his last few emails, sometimes he wants to marry me and sometimes he wants to murder me. I feel bad if he hurts other people now, but he just cant be my problem to deal with anymore.
 
J_Nite,

Why have you not written this guy off as dead?? I can't believe you're even continuing to entertain his existence. Can't you set a filter on your email account that will delete his emails even before it hits your inbox? Life is way too short to even have these people remotely disturbing our lives. Too bad they don't have shredding machines for humans because this Francisco guy was truly a wasted fertilization.

Also sounds to me like you are subconsciously enjoying the attention he is giving you now that you don't want him but he wants you.

This is just however my 2 cents.
 
I am not enjoying the attention he is giving me, its just that part of my heart still hopes that he will change, that maybe someday he will be a good person. I wish he was apologetic before this whole thing blew up, and i wish he was truly sorry for what he did. I dont write people off as dead, it's just not in me to be that cruel to another human being. Maybe that is why i dont understand how to help him, because i dont understand how hurting others gives pleasure. I will admit that I am still angry with him, very angry over all the things he did. I came here to vent, to get off my chest what has been bugging me. To talk to others and possibly reinforce my decision to end things with him was for the best. Sometimes it is too late for apologies. The thing is that i still care about him as a friend, and i havent blocked his emails yet because i want to know that he is still alive. I dont wish that he would be shredded to death (I am guessing that you werent being serious here), and i dont wish pain upon him. I truly want him to finally be stable in his life, thats why i have tried repeatedly to help him. he was like a brother to me and it hurts me to have to ignore him like this, it truly does. Listen, like i have said before, i have posted this here because it helps me to be sure that my decision to cut him out is for the best.
 
J_NITE......

He cannot be helped by anyone but himself. Get rid of him..... however you can, get him out of your life!!!! Don't wait until it's too late and your life is on the line. This guy is a freak, he uses people and it's not your responsibility. Sure, it may hurt a little at first because of your good intentions. However, we all know what they say about good intentions........... the road to hell is paved with them.

If the situation is as intense as you describe, you may already not have any way out of this situation without something drastic happening. You need to forget everything now and just worry about protecting yourself. The only way to start is by disassociating yourself from him, his friends, family and anybody that knows him at all. Start fresh and leave all of that dysfunctional crap behind you.
 
"Judging from his last few emails, sometimes he wants to marry me and sometimes he wants to murder me. I feel bad if he hurts other people now, but he just cant be my problem to deal with anymore."

Has he actually said this? Has he threatened to harm you? If so, you should print those emails out and show them to the police when you get at restraining order against him.
 
He hasnt threatened me, he is just throwing tantrums. When he says ,"I hate you, i wanna kill you" and then follows up the next email with "I'm so sorry, i was an ass, please forgive me, i love you, marry me", he is just having a hard time letting go. I guess i failed to mention that I am the only guy to ever turn him down, and thats a hurt to his ego. He is just angry for now, he will get over it (hopefully). I'm not going to the police, his parents have requested that no authorities be involved in this matter. He wont come after me, he only really uses words to hurt people. He usually backs off if the other person is stronger than him, because he likes to pick on the weak. This is just his problem, he doesnt know how to accept loss and he doesnt want anyone else to be with his former boyfriends. One day, I hope he will get counceling and be a better person, but right now I dont see that happening so I have cut off contact with him.
 
J_Nite, even if you aren't talking to him, even if you've blocked him, you ARE STILL IN HIS WORLD. STOP reading the e-mails he sends you. Don't accept anything from him. As long as you're still LISTENING to him you are still participating in his world.

Ignore his family. They're just as twisted as he is.

He is completely self-destructive. He will either be incarcerated from statutory rape or die relatively soon from a terminal illness. There is nothing but misery at the end of his life.

Seriously, don't even read what he sends you. Nothing that would tempt you to go back into that dysfunctional world.

This is the most disturbing and twisted thread I've ever read on this forum.
 
By reading his emails, he isnt going to tempt be back to him. To read them just assures me that he really is troubled and that I was right to dispose of him. I hope he isnt incarcerated, but I will admit that he needs to be looked after in some sort of institution. As for the terminal illness, I really do hope he is careful with his sexual practices that he doesnt catch something. I dont with terminal illness on anyone, I have had to watch too many people suffer and wither away from them to know that it is a terrible way to end life. I read his emails because I still care about him, he was like a brother to me before he betrayed me. One thing you have to understand is that I help people. He know that being a genuinely good person is my one real weakness and he is trying to exploit it. I know this is a disturbing story, and I am sorry for that. I just came here to vent it, because it was eating away inside of me. I know that he is using going into therapy as a way to try to get me back, I completely see that, but i know enough not to fall for it. I know what truly lies inside of him, and part of me knows that I cannot fix it.
 
This already looks like one of threads that's going to spawn into pages and pages of drama that will forever fly a holding pattern without coming in for a landing. We've seen this before haven't we guys? Anyone wanna bet that this thread will float on top of the forum through to the end of the year with no resolves? :eek:
 
J_Nite,

I would strongly encourage you to do some reading on co-dependency if you have not already. Even as you talk about how bad he is, you sound like you're also justifying or making excuses for him. I'm just telling you how it's coming off to me (and from some of the other posters' comments, to them as well). This is a guy who has killed animals and molested children, and yet when he tells you he hates you and wants to kill you, you blow it off as though he's joking.

He. is. crazy.

There is genuinely good and caring, and then there is enabling. This man hurts other people. He sounds like he has no true empathy, and even if a person gets help, that is likely to never change. You're still identifying too much with him, and while you tell us you are just concerned because you hope he gets well, I gotta say it sounds so much like you're in major denial. You sound like too many women I've known who were abused and still not done with their abusers.

Please love yourself enough to not only not love him anymore, but not think about him anymore either.
 
Yeah, I guess I have been making excuses for him. There is a part of me who always tries to give people the benefit of the doubt. But you are right, I cant justify what he did. So, last night, I blocked his emails. You guys are absolutely right, I shouldnt put up with him or have him try to tempt me back. I shouldnt participate in his life by listening to what he has to say. This has been a problem, is that I try to look for the best in people, even after it become abundantly clear that there is no good left in them. He was a terrible, disgusting, dark, disturbed human being and I should be more grateful that I got out when I did. From the past, I should know better than to think he will change, he only breaks his promises to do so. He is NEVER going to change, and I have stop looking for him to do so. I dont still love him, but I admit to still caring about what happens to him. I really just have to write him off as a huge mistake I made, and be done with it.
 
I can't see why he'd change as long as his childish, selfish, immature and manipulative behaviour continues to get him what he wants - which they will so long as others allow it.
 
J_Nite said:
Yeah, I guess I have been making excuses for him. There is a part of me who always tries to give people the benefit of the doubt. But you are right, I cant justify what he did. So, last night, I blocked his emails. You guys are absolutely right, I shouldnt put up with him or have him try to tempt me back. I shouldnt participate in his life by listening to what he has to say. This has been a problem, is that I try to look for the best in people, even after it become abundantly clear that there is no good left in them. He was a terrible, disgusting, dark, disturbed human being and I should be more grateful that I got out when I did. From the past, I should know better than to think he will change, he only breaks his promises to do so. He is NEVER going to change, and I have stop looking for him to do so. I dont still love him, but I admit to still caring about what happens to him. I really just have to write him off as a huge mistake I made, and be done with it.
Click to expand...

Glad to hear this (*8*) yet I hope you meant it!
 
J_Nite said:
Yeah, I guess I have been making excuses for him. There is a part of me who always tries to give people the benefit of the doubt. But you are right, I cant justify what he did. So, last night, I blocked his emails. You guys are absolutely right, I shouldnt put up with him or have him try to tempt me back. I shouldnt participate in his life by listening to what he has to say. This has been a problem, is that I try to look for the best in people, even after it become abundantly clear that there is no good left in them. He was a terrible, disgusting, dark, disturbed human being and I should be more grateful that I got out when I did. From the past, I should know better than to think he will change, he only breaks his promises to do so. He is NEVER going to change, and I have stop looking for him to do so. I dont still love him, but I admit to still caring about what happens to him. I really just have to write him off as a huge mistake I made, and be done with it.
Click to expand...

Good for you, J_nite! It's what needed to be done for you to really start moving on. And like Rican said, I hope you keep moving on and not revisiting this one. You deserve a lot better. (*8*)
 
Way to go J_nite!!! This is the first step in reclaiming yourself and your own life.

The main thing to remember now is to be strong and resist him and his family. If his family is protecting him they are just as bad and demented as him and you are doing the right thing......absolutely!!!

We Jubbers are always here to help you out. Just let us know if you need it. OK?
 
Thanks guys for all of your support. It was just what I needed to finally let him go. I appreciate all of your kind words and messages sent, they meant a lot to me. I am moving on and focusing on what is the most important in my life. As for "Francisco", I can only hope that he gets what he needs in life and that one day he can be a happy and functioning member of society.
 
Glad to hear you finally severed him off completely, J_Nite. Now go enjoy the rest of your life and let us know about any new hot guys you encounter! ;)
 
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