Ending Friendship

[Tomruyssss]

Cutting off my supposed best friend of a year. Hes always ditching me, cancelling plans, and lately doesnt want to open up to me anymore. Told him today I wanna end our friendship basically tells me idc youre still my friend and brother. what should i do? i mean part of me loves this kid and thats why im so mad cuz i cant get him to open up to me anymore. he used ot tell me everything, we used to be close, yet its like were growing apart lately.

 

[Georgiadude]

Is he gay and if so, Is he out? I'm wondering if he felt things were getting too close and he needed some distance. Maybe he has something going on and doesn't feel like sharing. Is there a chance he's addicted to something? Addiction will mask your feelings. It boils account for being flakey and his Not seeing how his behavior is hiring you. Have a sit down with him and let him know you're true feelings. I think there is a chance your friendship can be salvaged. Its worth a shot. At least you can honestly say you tried

Steven

 

[KaraBulut]

He may love you like a brother but there's more that you want from friends and you're not getting that from him. You have different expectations of friendship than he has. You've told him that and if he can't change or doesn't want to change, then he's not going to be friend that you're looking for.

However, it's not necessary to "end a friendship" because he's not making you priority #1 in his life. And you may want to consider whether your expectations of a friend are realistic.

Go find other friends who have the same expectations of friendship that you do. Stay friends with this guy but don't expect that he's going to be your closest or best friend in the way that you want him to be.

 

[sixthson]

It sounds like you are trying to control him by holding your friendship over his head.

 

[toogood4u2have]

It sounds like you are trying to control him by holding your friendship over his head.

I never understand how people think like this.


To the OP I see your point. If he's not being a friend, then ditch the relationship. Sometimes people grow apart. He may also be going through something where he just wants to be alone. If the ditching is 70 percent or more though, find other people who will value spending time with you.

 

[TX-Beau]

OK, I'm going to agree that he's your friend not your boyfriend. If he doesn't want to "open up" (what does that mean?) so be it.

Here's how you deal with that. The next time he flakes out, you tell him that he seems very busy and to call you when he has the time. Then if he does call let him know what your plans are and tell him he's welcome to tag along.

You post sounds like you're trying to treat him like you're dating. You're not.

 

[AlmondMilk]

You need to talk to him. Tell him what's on your mind, and give him room to respond. If anything, maybe make a new friend? Or you can just stop talking to him.

 

[Seasoned]

Tell him exactly what you wrote in your opening post and let him be the one to stay in touch.

 

[Tomruyssss]

Tell him exactly what you wrote in your opening post and let him be the one to stay in touch.

Well today we hung out he knew i was drunk when i wrote this and when i texted him the same thing. we hung out today, and it was fun, then all of the sudden we start talking bout when he leaves for the military and hes going on how he doesnt open up to anyone. and we've always told people were brothers i mean ive opened up to him and hes told me some pretty personal things ive even been there when hes cried. hes my lil brother. he says he doesnt wanna talk to anybody when he leaves except his family. and i go i am ur family youre my brother. and he goes no youre not your my friend not my brother. So i was like wtf dude. ur my brother man blood or not. he was like nahh. he was like idc about anyone anymore and kept going off. i was pretty pissed off. i was like why you changing like this dude. he goes this is the new me. im like dude i liked the old u. he was like whatever. he was being a total dick. so i just walked out and told him not to text me again and to fuck off then if im not his bro or whatever. i was like youre the person i can come to with anything, besides my mom i care bout u the most. and i aint shit to u man so fuck it.

 

[Tomruyssss]

he doesnt know i posted here and yeah all of the sudden i aint his big bro anymore. i get were not blood related but we were so close it was the same thing. i loved the kid like a brother. i was his role model, i was there for him. i miss the fucker. hes only 2 years younger than me too

- - - Updated - - -

hes not my bf but we were so close. it was a bromance.

 

[BrendonM91]

I've heard of alot of guys who push away their family and friends when they go into the military. It's kind of like a barrier for them just in case something bad were to happen, they believe that if they break ties, that the people they love and care about won't be hurt as much.

Also depression could be a big problem of his.

 

[luckynumbah7]

I've heard of alot of guys who push away their family and friends when they go into the military. It's kind of like a barrier for them just in case something bad were to happen, they believe that if they break ties, that the people they love and care about won't be hurt as much.

Also depression could be a big problem of his.

Yeah, that's common enough. Just let him know that you'll be there when he feels he needs someone to lean on. Occasionally call him and ask how he is, let him know you're still around. It'll take a while for him to work through.

 

[inimegblue]

You ever consider that you may have said or done something that may have offended or hurt him unintentionally? Of course it's natural to assume that if you did he would tell you, but some people prefer to hold secret grudges and be mad that you didn't understand what you did. We tend to be more sensitive to those we love most and sometimes that makes us hold them to ridiculously high standards. I say just fall back a little. Friendships like the one you guys is hard to come by or replace and maybe a little distance between you will remind him of that fact. Just my two cents.