Engagement question

[queenororo]

Hey guys,
Now i never thought id be posting a question like this but here we are. I'm planning on purposing to my bf but don't know what to do ring wise. I barely know what straight couples do for this let alone same sex couples lol everything i look up for engagement rings are your typical diamond engagement rings. I was thinking of just doing a band but then isn't that just what you use for when you're actually married. And if not do i get him that then another band for the wedding? I have no clue. Sorry if this is incoherent I'm confused and nervous lol

Thanks for the help

 

[neditesjamais]

Congratulations and best wishes! And what a great question.

I can't offer a direct answer from my own experience, but I have known some married guys who both just wear bands. It never occurred to me what they did to signal engagement.

If you don't get many responses in this area, you might try asking in the Hot Topics. Sadly, some readers (viewers?) don't get to these threads too often.

 

[AstareGod]

What's great about being gay, at least in my opinion, is that we're not held to the same societal expectations of our heterosexual (and bisexual) counterparts. We can make up whatever rules we want! (Now, some people in opposite-sex relationships make up their own rules, too, but we gays sort of have to!)

If you don't mind letting the cat out of the bag a little, consider going ring shopping with him to get an idea of what he might think of a ring, or what kind of a ring he might like. If you want to get him a ring, you'll also need to know the size of his finger. Going to a ring shop is an easy way to get that information.

He might not even want a ring. Instead, he might opt to put the money toward something else to remember the moment by, like a special trip somewhere.

What I'm trying to say is, it's completely up to what you guys want to do! Talk to him and get a feel for what he prefers, but also make your wishes and desires known.

 

[KaraBulut]

...If you don't mind letting the cat out of the bag a little, consider going ring shopping with him to get an idea of what he might think of a ring, or what kind of a ring he might like. If you want to get him a ring, you'll also need to know the size of his finger. Going to a ring shop is an easy way to get that information.

^This. You have to find something that you both like and there are more options that you think, so if you can both shop for the rings, you're more likely to find the right rings for both of you.

If you want to keep it a surprise, you can find an excuse to go to a jewelry store (i.e. buying a gift for a relative) and while you're there, look at wedding bands to get an idea of what styles he likes. Or you can put a friend up to it.

The service industries in the US are getting smart and they're seeing a market for same-sex wedding rings/bands. The tungsten bands are popular and I see a lot of couples wearing dark/black bands like these.

 

[Thomas80]

Hi,

We got a friendship ring first, back in the days same sex marriage wasn't possible in Belgium yet. So, if you have enough money to buy him a friendship ring first, you'll know his ring size. About the engagement ring: choose a ring you like, not something straight couples would choose, in my opinion. Good luck

 

[Briacon429]

I agree with the others: do what’s right for you! Same-sex marriage is still so new that there really aren’t any rules. So you can make your own!

For what it’s worth, when I proposed, it was with a simple ring (no diamonds). I wanted it to be a surprise, so I never went ring-shopping with him. This also meant I had to guess his size— and ironically it fit me better than it did him. So I was the one who ended up wearing the ring, even though I was the one who popped the question!

For the actual wedding bands, we did go shopping together, so we got the sizes right. (Our wedding bands do have small diamonds in them, but we purposely didn’t get anything too fancy. We wanted the rings to be understated and classy.) After the wedding, I stopped wearing the engagement ring, so now we both wear matching ibands.