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Erection Help

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milco17

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Hey Guys....this is kinda wierd. Im 18 and was in a relationship with a guy for 3 years. Since i was just 14. We had a very healthy and active sex life. We broke up a year ago. As ive started dating again, Clubbing again....And sleeping with people again....I have noticed a significant difference. I am able to get an erection. But it never seems to be able to get hard enough to "stick it in".....Its starting to worry me and i dont understand it. I Can get hard....But i guess just not hard enough to be able to get it in....Sometimes it even goes down if i try. I need help. Does anyone have any idea of what might be going on? Blowjobs are all good and fine....But i miss sex. Alot.:confused:
 
I agree with the other poster. I tried to top my boyfriend but it was not going anywhere. Sadly I figured my role for sex was a complete bottom. Being a bottom is not a bad thing its just that maybe you might be it. Topping is not for everyone, and its just difficult for some to top.
 
If you were a Top with your previous boyfriend and never had any trouble getting it hard for insertion, it was because you were very comfortable with him...and you are/were USED to being comfortable with one person, so it was easy. It's a mind thing. Now it sounds like you are goin out and meeting different guys and tryin to have sex with diff guys (nothing wrong with that!) but the whole comfort zone isn't quite there...you may be thinking too hard, "oh I need to get hard why can't I get hard" and it just ain't happening.
 
I actually have recently started experimenting with being a bottom. Not quite there yet....It kinda scares me lol. Maybe i just need some more practice. I think you are dead on about the comfort zone. It just tends to get embarassing. ive never been like this. So maybe continuing experimenting with bottoming is my best bet for now.....Guess time will tell. Thanks guys.
 
milco17 said:
I actually have recently started experimenting with being a bottom. Not quite there yet....It kinda scares me lol. Maybe i just need some more practice. I think you are dead on about the comfort zone. It just tends to get embarassing. ive never been like this. So maybe continuing experimenting with bottoming is my best bet for now.....Guess time will tell. Thanks guys.
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If you're scared just make sure not to be topped by a guy with an 8 inch dick.
 
Milco, go over to the Health & Wellbeing forum where you will find this subject has been discussed before. There should be threads/posts there which may prove helpful.

Once you go to that forum, go to the top right corner of the page where it says Search this forum. Type in the word erection and you will find a number of threads for you to read. Some of them will not be appropriate as the word erection covers many things. But you will find some threads on your specific problem, I'm sure.

In any case, I think this thread might be better on H & W for others to see, rather than here on Hot Topics. You can request this to be moved there.
 
You should really be discussing this with a doctor. There are many things that could be wrong and they are not all psychological. My advice is don't take advice from people that don't know you, are not doctors, and cannot give you a proper physical examination.
 
You might just be having some performance anxiety. Give it time. You might be ready to move on from a long term relationship but your dick might not be.
 
I agree with jackry, anxiety and feeling awkward may be at the root of the problem. Your mind is concentrating on how awkward you are at doing what you're doing at the time, not on the pleasure.

If you've started to bottom, and are nervous about pain or other problems, you need reassurance, and have to talk it over with your partner to tell him to take it easy.

I'm moving this thread over to Health and Wellbeing as there are some fine folks over there who may have better advice.
 
milco17 said:
I actually have recently started experimenting with being a bottom. Not quite there yet....It kinda scares me lol. Maybe i just need some more practice. I think you are dead on about the comfort zone. It just tends to get embarassing. ive never been like this. So maybe continuing experimenting with bottoming is my best bet for now.....Guess time will tell. Thanks guys.
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Or you could save topping for someone you really trust and feel totally comfortable with.

That is even better advice for bottoming.

Your dick is not trying to tell you what to do in bed, it is trying to tell you who to do it with. It doesn't want you to be "sleeping with people." It wants you to find someone you can really trust and be confident with.
 
A question about whether it is a mental thing (anxiety). Do you get hard during the night when sleeping, or are you hard when you get up in the morning? So, if you are getting hard at night, it is not a physical problem, but anxiety. The advice from the above posts seems helpful.
 
jackry said:
You might just be having some performance anxiety. Give it time. You might be ready to move on from a long term relationship but your dick might not be.
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I agree, I think it is performance anxiety. As the man says, it is all in the mind and therefore how confident you are.

Try not having an expectation for it to go hard, just enjoy other types of sex and if it wants to go hard it will and that way you will eventually get over it.

Best Wishes Bud, I know how hard it can be to have to be the 'man' and perform on command all the time. But Hey, give yourself a break you are not superman or even spiderman!
 
I CAN get hard all the time. But like i said...Not quite hard enough to actually have full on sex. hmmm ill take it all into consideration. And will let you's know. Thanks for the help guys.
 
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