Erection issue with new partners

[mcbg22]

So until a few months ago, I was seeing someone regularly and my sex life was great. I didn't have any problems. We broke up and after a while I started seeing other people. So far, I've hooked up with 3 people and every time, I had trouble getting hard. It's so frustrating. I know it's probably because I'm nervous and I'm not fully comfortable with them yet but how can I get over that? There's a guy I really like and I'd like to see him again without having any erection problems. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do? I'm only 28 and in pretty good shape. I shouldn't have this kind of problem lol ugh!

 

[Orlandude]

It could be you're not quite over that regular relationship and your libido is affecting your performance. Maybe that breakup psychologically affected you more than you realize, however, that should pass in time. Be sure that you're not seeing others in an effort to recreate what you had. What is going on in our heads has a great deal to do with sexual performance. Even stress will affect it. Give yourself more time. When both your "heads" get back in sync again, you'll be fine...and hard as ever!

 

[sixthson]

Not everyone is cut out for casual sex. Some people need a connection on more than just physical attraction. If you didn't have a problem before, maybe this is the reason.

 

[KaraBulut]

Assuming that everything works well when you're all by yourself, then the issue is best described as psychological- similar to "stage fright".

There are some people who just aren't cut out for casual sex and instead, the psychological attraction has to precede the physical attraction. So, while there are options like medications and methods to de-stress, the question is whether it makes more sense for you to take things slow, get to know guys before you sleep with them and then only sleep with them when your body tells you that you're ready.

If everything works fine when you reach the point of being comfortable with someone you're dating, then it's perfectly acceptable to delay sex until you're ready.

 

[MasonJay]

I have the same problem with new casual partners. What I have been doing is being honest with them. Even when they want me to fuck them, I just tell them that it may not happen this time, but hopefully next time. They still always come over. I know they are hoping it will happen, but they realize it may not, and I am off the hook for feeling bad if it doesn't happen. The thing is, because they know they are in for a full body experience when they come over and not just a quick fuck, is they often end up with a great surprise of still getting fucked. I don't have the pressure from myself or them to perform, so we end up having more fun which makes it possible for me to perform.

 

[RaKroma]

This year, I've experienced more dick problems with random hookups too. I need to feel more intimate to get excited with hookups. But guys just want emotionless drive-through, fast-food type service in bed. The quality of experience with random hookups continues to decline.

 

[OPHELIA_HARDIN]

I have the same problem with new casual partners. What I have been doing is being honest with them. Even when they want me to fuck them, I just tell them that it may not happen this time, but hopefully next time. They still always come over. I know they are hoping it will happen, but they realize it may not, and I am off the hook for feeling bad if it doesn't happen. The thing is, because they know they are in for a full body experience when they come over and not just a quick fuck, is they often end up with a great surprise of still getting fucked. I don't have the pressure from myself or them to perform, so we end up having more fun which makes it possible for me to perform.

That's the perfect solution. Plain old honesty.

I use the same technique when topping guys who want to be fucked: "Sorry dear, but I come too fast first time. If you want to stick around until I recharge, I can fuck for hours."