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Ever been lonely in a relationship?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Martkell2007
  • Start date Start date
M

Martkell2007

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Spending time with him is like being alone. He runs himself busy and when he's home, he collapses on the chair snoring, mouth open. He never initiates sex, and when I start sex he participates to please me, but he tries to get me off quickly so he can go to sleep.

There's no such thing as us spending too much time together because we are both busy supervisiors who work overtime and spend maybe a few hours at home with each other (he's sleep within an hour of so of being home as I said earlier).

He's taking me on a camping trip with his family on memorial weekend. I said I would go, but I really just want to run. I talked to his closest friend, Matt. Matt said I've made him(my bf) really happy;he has never seen my boyfriend happier. He said I should talk to my bf.

I sent my bf a text saying we needed to have a serious talk. Maybe the tone of what I typed scared him because he wanted to know immediately about what and "if I was going to talk him to death." Instead of coming home, he stayed at his mom's until about bed time. I was so furious that he avoided me, knowing I wanted to talk, that I just shut down temporarily.

He even has the nerve to want to cuddle at night, but Im usually so distressed over how I feel and the fact that he doesn't want to talk about it that I just stay far on my side of the bed (no we don't live together).

How do I get out of this relationship rut? Why doesn't he want me to express how I feel to him?
 
How do I get out of this relationship rut? Why doesn't he want me to express how I feel to him?
Click to expand...

Is this the same guy you were having issues with a few months ago?
Click to expand...

I think I said that it was so over a few months ago.

He finds you demanding and controlling. You find him disassociative and remote. He doesn't want to listen to you because he apparently finds the sound of your voice to be a deadly weapon. And he's such a pussy that he has to hide at mommy's in order not to participate in the relationship.

I seem to remember a series of threads where you are complaining about him for one reason or another. Isn't it time for both of you to do the right thing and move on? Maybe being apart will make the heart grow fonder. Maybe not.
 
](*,) ](*,) ](*,) :croynan:
 
So this morning I finally made the decision to make a clean break from the relationship.I was ironing a shirt and set the water cup for the iron on an antique table, leaving a water ring.

It upset him, and his irritation over the table upset me even more when compounded with how I was feeling.

When he saw the anger in my face and heard it in my tone of voice ( I rarely become visually mad, and have never thrown a fit with him), he became affectionate.

So once again, Im just going to take time away from him like rareboy says. However, Ive done this already. When im gone for a while he gets anxious about what Im doing and where Im going, but doesn't say anything about it for while.

On a side note, the advertising on this site is deceptive. I KNOW the guys who are supposedly in NC according to this one ad below the text box are NOT in NC.
 
Time away? Really? You really think that'll fix things? Yeah, it'll make him more "affectionate", but if he's only going to be interested in you when you're far away, what kind of relationship is that? Honestly, to me, it sounds like the entire relationship is dysfunctional. You shouldn't have to move out on a semi-monthly basis in order to keep the relationship alive. DTMFA, and go find yourself a guy who actually wants you there. Not on occasion, but all the time.

>>>I KNOW the guys who are supposedly in NC according to this one ad below the text box are NOT in NC.

Uh, yeah. They're the same ones that are supposedly in Denver. And nobody's that tan in Denver. :)

Lex
 
I think I actually said 'Move on'.

If you've 'taken a break' before hand and it hasn't changed anything, you're a fool to think you can do it a second time.

He sounds like a jerk. Getting all affectionate and attentive only when he thinks he's going to lose you.

If you do patch things up, you do realize that the next time you post about your problems with this guy, no one is going to have any words of sympathy or support.
 
Most relationships need work. Both people have to talk and it can be difficult If you can't do it yourselves and if you don't want to walk get your butts to couples counseling.

The person with the relationship issue has to be the one to bring up the issue.
 
Ok, so kudos to me: I broke up with my boyfriend today. He's taking a trip to Alabama, and I found his profile on adam4adam yesterday advertising the trip. When I contacted him letting him know I saw him, he changed the profile to make it look like someone else. But all you have to do is request the password on your boyfriend's email account to see if adam4adam has a password on file for that email. And it did!

I sent him a text, a little intoxicated, and told him I was disappointed and I thought we had worked past these issues. I also called him a hypocrite because he was always the first to accuse me of cheating and preached commitment to me and how most gay men were whores and sluts and risked getting HIV for cheap thrills. Low-and-Behold, his adam4adam SN was for cheap sex.

I told him I would give him back all his things. He asked for me to come by and just drop off the cell phone when he got off work, but I went before he got off and left his cellphone, house key, and everything I had of his. When I told him I was going by his house, he called his house from his cell phone from work. I saw his number on the caller ID when I went over to his house. Im intrigued as to why he would call his own house. Was someone there?

And If I broke up with him, why am I the only one hurting? He hasn't contacted me or sent me a text or email on Adam4adam. I ended things on my terms, but I feel so horrible.
 
The only drink ive got is real fruitpunch to replace the hummingbird nectar I drank lol
 
Not down, just confused. It get over men by doing a lot chores. I washed and got the car waxed before the rain, dusted the ceiling fans, mopped the floors, got dust-bunnies under the bed, did laundry . . . the list goes on.
 
I'm actually pretty much ok today. I just bury myself in work and eventually I forget about the whole thing and the emotions fade more and more.

I just wonder if he ever thinks of me. He wasn't sleeping with anyone else, I was too much of a prescence along with his work, family, and friends for him to sneak someone in. He never denied me sex, he just wasn't that sexual, and said it was because of his retrograde ejaculation.
 
He apparently didn't think of you much while you were there. He may kinda miss having you around, but that's no reason to go back to him. Stop expending time and effort into even thinking about this guy anymore. :)

Lex
 
Just houseclean him right outta your life.

Even if you ended up with no one, it sounds better than ending up with him.
 
Now that your attention isn't solely on him, hopefully you'll soon find a great guy who will treat you well and love you for who you are.

Good luck!
 
I gave him his phone back to get rid of the physical reminder of our past love. I found the most expensive phone I could find to replace the one he bought me lol.

It made me feel a lot better.
 
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