Ever Been Molested........

[eddielee]

Even though I started having sex at age 12, it was with someone close to my age and I wanted to . Now, as an adult, I have been raped. I'm very sorry for anyone who was molested. The fact that you survived the ordeal is a testament to your strength and firm resolve.

 

[nickkkkkk]

These posts are old so I do not know if anyone will ever read this but here goes. I was abused repeatedly growing up by my two older brothers. Badly and repeatedly. For years and years. It was so bad that I have chosen to not even remember most of it and have decided to try to just forget it. I have had therapy because of this but I can not even hardly discuss these happenings without just about feeling like I might die if I do discuss them. I have endured though. I am still alive and contribute to society. It gives me great pain to read some peoples statements on here that joke about the abuse as something they might have liked? I do not understand any jokes made about this. I am not posting this to disregard anyones feelings or thoughts. I just don't get it.

Any kind of abuse is wrong and just is not funny in any way. Thanks for the op to post this.

 

[mabby7]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you were able to grow stronger from it. Same thing happened with me. My mother didn't believe me...Or maybe it was too much for her to handle....I still don't know. Anyway, as a result, the abuse continued for years...Eventually it reached the point where he would give me cocaine to sedate me somewhat. I was so depressed and withdrawn that I once overdosed on it.
My depression continued to get worse. I went to my uncle's house and took all the pills he had in the medicine cabinet. I wanted to die. A friend found me and I ended up in the hospital getting my stomach pumped. Some Child Welfare people wanted to talk to me. But how could I tell them that my mother's husband and the father of my half brother and sister was fucking me? I didn't want to ruin my family's lives.
The worst part came after when I found that he was not only doing it to me but my two sisters also. My full sister a year younger and my half sister, his daughter who is about 10 years younger than me. That hurt more than anything he did to me. I wanted to stop all of it but no one believed me....It wasn't until they came forward that they actually did. Even then nothing came of it and now he lives with a new wife and son....

that's so sad elvin ... ... i really feel for you ...

well i was sexually abused as a child ... i think it happened for a year or so ... it was my unlce .... he stayed with us while he looked for a job after moving from another place ...

i remember that at the time it felt good ... but now i realize that it was totally inappropriate ... i guess this did contribute to me realizing that i had feelings for men ...

i wanted to confront my uncle too ... but like so many others ... i just never had the courage to do anything about it ... i have forgiven him ... but it took me a long time to do that ...

 

[Adam2299]

i was molested too.by my brothers friends,when i was 10 years old and they were 14.i liked it i think!

You weren't molested if you liked it.

 

[Blktiger58]

I don't remember exactly if I was molested initially. But there was a neighbor son who took me in his bedroom and showed me his cock. It was hard. He told me to touch it and he touch mine. I was like 8 - 10yrs. He was in his teens. I never told anyone.
As I kid under 7yrs old I was always mesmerized by men thighs, crotch, and thighs. I don't know what triggered that.

 

[Piquechampion]

I´m truly and sincerely sorry for all of you who went through that. I can not even start to imagine how horrible a thing like that is... It really break my heart...

I hope you can all find peace...

Btw. I never was molested, had a very happy and carefree childhood.

 

[Piquechampion]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you were able to grow stronger from it. Same thing happened with me. My mother didn't believe me...Or maybe it was too much for her to handle....I still don't know. Anyway, as a result, the abuse continued for years...Eventually it reached the point where he would give me cocaine to sedate me somewhat. I was so depressed and withdrawn that I once overdosed on it.
My depression continued to get worse. I went to my uncle's house and took all the pills he had in the medicine cabinet. I wanted to die. A friend found me and I ended up in the hospital getting my stomach pumped. Some Child Welfare people wanted to talk to me. But how could I tell them that my mother's husband and the father of my half brother and sister was fucking me? I didn't want to ruin my family's lives.
The worst part came after when I found that he was not only doing it to me but my two sisters also. My full sister a year younger and my half sister, his daughter who is about 10 years younger than me. That hurt more than anything he did to me. I wanted to stop all of it but no one believed me....It wasn't until they came forward that they actually did. Even then nothing came of it and now he lives with a new wife and son....

Ayyy tio, me has dejado muy triste

You´re a beautiful human being, and I´m truly sorry this happened to you

 

[arco]

This is an interesting thread.

I've never been molested.

But a question to those that were. Do any of you think the molestation made you gay? Do you think that you may have been molested because you were perceived as being gay?

Good question. Years ago when I was trying to figure out why I was bi I at least entertained the possibility that having been abused as a kid (age 9) might have contributed to it. (My older sister was convinced that that was the case.)

The guy who abused me was 18 and physically repugnant to me. It only went on for a few weeks but the physical pain was hard to bear (mostly anal rape) and made me feel powerless and dirty. He threatened to harm me if I told anyone. He did kill a man a few weeks later which got him out of my hair but it also scared the crap out of me. The whole thing made me pretty miserable for a couple years and I tried to off myself when I was 10. Classically, I thought that I was at fault for the guy's loss of self control, and thought I must be evil.

But it ddn't make me gay or bi (or straight).

Until I was in my mid-teens I was really tight-assed about sex and convinced that I was a true freak, both because of my desires (i.e., for male and females) and because of having been damaged sexually. I think my community therapized me wihout making me feel like a victim. I saw loving gay and straight relationships (that obviously included sex) modeled in thatcommunity. In my late teens I saw that I really had the choice to re-define that area of my life and to get more comfortable with sex. I thought of it as reclaiming territory. I asked a buddy of mine to help me experience sex as a joyful thing, and he obliged. I worked at learning how to make my sexual and social connections with others, both gay and straight, something pretty, like learning a new language. I practiced.

When I got much older I wondered how much the abuse contributed to my desire, or my openness, for sex with males. I think I now know, at least for myself, that the effect of the abuse on my life was probably signiicant, but its effect on my sexual orientation was about nil.

 

[woaini]

was by a post office man when I was 10 in 1997~

 

[darcypaul]

not molested but physically abused, beaten to a pulp

 

[xXblatinoXx]

i was almost molested when i was 10 ... my best friend's dad had trapped me in his bathroom but i hit him with a curling iron and ran home to tell my big brother [who was 19 at the time] ... my brother and a group of his friend's caught him and broke his arms and jaw ; never seen him after that -- i think he went to prison for molesting some other neighborhood kids

i do feel for u guys that have been molested though -- that's y i'm super protective of my nieces ; i think i'd kill sumone if anything happened to them

 

[rodvill]

I was molested once by a classmate on a school trip, there were like 8 of us and we went to a different city for a national debate competition. One night, after our debate, we got together in our teachers room to celebrate & get drunk (it was cool since we were 16 or something) and laws here in Mexico are not so strict if you do it in privacy. So anyway I got pretty drunk and puked and went to sleep. The next day I woke up by feeling cold out of a sudden, specially down there, I opened my eyes and it was my hotel roommate that had taken my pants down and was playing with my dick... I was shocked and pretended I didn't realized what was going on and faked like I was asleep. He came out of the closet 2 years ago and now lives with his bf...

 

[Joshua_me]

Gawd.

On the one hand, I hate that this topic keeps coming up on these boards,
but I also know that it's something that we all need to share with each other, fucking painful as it can be.

The handful of guys that I've chosen to share all my stuff with already know the answer.

Short answer: Yes, I was beaten. Yes, I was molested.

The logical thought is to think, "It happened, now get over it"

The realistic thought is, "I doubt I ever will."

 

[mabby7]

Gawd.

On the one hand, I hate that this topic keeps coming up on these boards,
but I also know that it's something that we all need to share with each other, fucking painful as it can be.

The handful of guys that I've chosen to share all my stuff with already know the answer.

Short answer: Yes, I was beaten. Yes, I was molested.

The logical thought is to think, "It happened, now get over it"

The realistic thought is, "I doubt I ever will."

so true ... you never really get over it even though you really want to ... i thought time would erase it ... but it doesn't ... really .... but i guess i'm a stronger person ... and i realize that not everything in this world is good ... maybe that's why i have a hard time trusting people ...

 

[frankfrank]

My mother, many years ago, once made a comment to me about me having possibly been molested by a cousin. I have no idea, but in adulthood I had no aversion toward this cousin. However, he's "vanished" somewhere and even his siblings have no idea where he is nowadays.

 

[jaysizzles]

I don't think this necessarily classifies as being molested but when I was around age 9 to 11 or so...I use to often play with a neighbor boy who was a few years older than me. He always wanted to wrestle and would pin me down...holding me down for quite awhile. It was quite a few years later that I put 2 and 2 together and realized he had been dry humping me while I was pinned down (clothes were always on). At the time I wasn't really aware of sex so for me it was just playing...odd and rough play...but what did I know...I was completely ignorant. I just use to get pissed that he wouldn't let me up. Why I kept playing with him...who knows...I probably subconsciously liked it. It never went any further than that and it hasn't effected me at all (that I'm aware of anyway). After reading some of the above posts I guess I should consider myself fortunate.

 

[bayern20]

One thing that definetley needs to be mentioned is that a lot of the time the people who do the molesting have a clue that the individual may be showing these gay tendencies. Therefore, I dont think anybody turns gay having a gay experience early lin life..instead the people who do these things are many times experienced in picking things up about others (because maybe they had the same experience too)

It never happened to me and I'm sorry to hear so many stories of this.

I gotta be honest though. I worry about people that have been molested. I have heard many times that people who have been molested have a very high chance of doing it themselves.

 

[aleisterc2003]

yeah i'd say between the ages of 3 - 5 or 6....by one of my brothers best freinds. never thought i'd tell anyone.

 

[tallguy297]

Joshua said it so well... we hope to forget it and get over it...yet we know we never will....

Yeah I was abused too... for years on and off from the age of 8 or so ... theres a whole tread somewhere... by a kid older than me by 7 or 8 years. It started on the way home from the town swimming pool...and went on when ever he seemed to cross my path.

For years I blamed him for me being gay. For ruining my life... or so I thought.

But like Elvin said... I have a feeling these guys pick up on things...innocently or otherwise... maybe tendencies, lack of self confidence...I dunno. All I know is that for years it created doubt and has played hell with my self image.

Until 2 weeks ago I thought I had it sorted. I thought I had it under control and I thought I had found a way to forgive him.

Then I saw him. With his mother and daughter.

And I gotta tell you the reaction in me scared me a lot. I wanted to kill him... slowly. Rip him limb from limb. Tell his mother about her son...warn his daughter. I think thats what got me... he seemed to be happy and living his life. Am I?

So Josh... you're are right. Maybe we never will. Maybe its something that will always be raw.

But my reaction scared me enough to understand that. So I'll keep working on it.

In some ways hes made me a better person that I'm sure of. I know I'll never hurt anyone else the way he hurt me.

I gotta be honest though. I worry about people that have been molested. I have heard many times that people who have been molested have a very high chance of doing it themselves.

Oh and Bayern... I understand how you might think that. Trust me I know a few people who have been molested who worry about that themselves. They worry about whatever the switch is that sets you off... me too.

But to accept that stereotype and perpetuate it is no better than to say all gay men are pedophiles or that we are all screaming queens. Always question what you hear. Never believe anything as an absolute.

As I said, my experiences guarantee that I will never hurt someone the way I was hurt. And I'm sure thats the case for the vast vast majority of us. You need to give us some credit for being able to recognize right from wrong... we know it better than most.

 

[bayern20]

Ok, but hear this.

Elvin's situation is a bit different because he states he was raped as well. Rape is forced sex. That is someone that is trying to have power over you, and they are hurting you, and causing you loads of pain, and having no regards for your safety. You are scared, and you know even worse can happen. (maybe you sustain a major injury and bleed to death..who knows) But basically there is always this fear over you that you will die or get hurt really bad. (because obviously these people that are doing it are crazy)

But molestation IS different in the sense that its a lot like "normal" sexs. There is no forcing most of the time, but instead it is the "taking advantage" of a person that does not know better.

Oprah, who was molested, stated on her show how for a really long time she didn't understand the negative effects of the molestation. She didn't understand what it did to her. The reason was that the actual sex felt good..sex is sex. Unless you force someone, and aren't careful, you cant stop sex from feeling good.But later she realized the emotional scarring. She realized that family was not supposed to take advantage like that because that is the only people that can protect you (in all areas until you are old enough) So the fact that someone from her family did that, it means that you are basically living with strangers. Nobody is there to protect you..you are being used..and are basically being treated worse by supposed family then you might be by pure strangers. That is sad. And that type of stuff you realize only later.

So, to get back to my point. If that is all true, I would say my statement from the post before may be accurate. (that quiet a few of the molested go on to molest) Unless they get help (and who knows even then) I truly dont know if they understand or APPRECIATE the emotional damage to a child. But maybe not even that..do they realize the damage to THEMSELVES. Because if the only thing they remember is that a family member did take advantage (but they remember it did feel good) then chances are they will do the same. That is my opinion anyways.