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Ever been torn between a guy and a girl?

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Frankie13

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So, I met this girl at a UPS store about a month ago and we really hit it off. We've been dating casually but I found myself realizing a few days ago that I'm starting to have real feelings for this girl.

Of course, since God has a funny sense of humor, my ex-fiance (a guy) comes knocking on my door yesterday, apologized for the way things ended between us two years ago, and asked for another chance. Three hours of conversation and two bottles of wine later, the two of us were on my couch making out as he stroked me through my pants. I stopped it and told him I needed to think and that he had to leave.

Today I hung out with the girl I've been seeing and I just felt sick with guilt. I know I have an important decision to make and I have to do it soon before anybody gets truly hurt. I guess I'm trying to see if anybody here has been in a similar situation. I've never really been in this situation before, let alone be in the situation and stuck between a guy and a girl. On the one hand, I like her a lot and I could see this going somewhere, and on the other hand, the thought of getting back together with my ex makes me so happy I could cry. Anybody with similar experiences???
 
heir-to-the-wind said:
Who is better for sex??
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I mean, he is obviously because we were together for two years. He knows my body and what I like and he's become quite familiar with my prostate. She and I have been going out for about a month and we've only had sex a few times, so it's still pretty new. I'm trying to listen to my heart instead of my dick this time, lol.

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DantheManFL said:
Sounds like time for a hot 3some. :D
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I'd be lying if I said the thought hasn't crossed my mind, but that would never happen! :lol:
 
That feels wrong to me though. I have fallen to the temptation of cheating before and I made a promise to myself that I would never cause somebody that kind of pain again. I will make a decision within the next couple of days, I just wish it wasn't so damn hard.
 
MatttheBruinsfan said:
Which one do you trust more, and feel you can be more open/yourself with?
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That would also have to be him. I don't know her very well yet. I was with him for almost two years. We were engaged, I was planning to spend the rest of my life with him. I guess I'm just afraid that things won't work out again and I'll get my heart broken. I don't want to have sex with him unless I know for sure he's the one I want to be with.
 
Just a quick update: I told the girl I was seeing that I want to my just friends, and I'm going to give my ex another show. I'm hoping this doesn't come back to bite me on the ass!
 
Frankie13 said:
Just a quick update: I told the girl I was seeing that I want to my just friends, and I'm going to give my ex another show. I'm hoping this doesn't come back to bite me on the ass!
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I guess I'm too late to this thread. However, I would try to figure out why your relationship did not work out the first time. If you start going down the same path, I wouldn't keep it going. The only reason that I can think of that a second chance relationship would work is because, the first time around, one or both of you were too young to settle down. If the relationship broke up for any other reason, I think its chance of success a second time around is probably pretty slim.
 
Honesty has always been my best policy. I am just very happy that I have found and girlfriend and a boyfriend that get along really good. I could not be any happier. Just look inside yourself to find what you personally want and see a future with. Trust yourself.
 
palemale said:
I guess I'm too late to this thread. However, I would try to figure out why your relationship did not work out the first time. If you start going down the same path, I wouldn't keep it going. The only reason that I can think of that a second chance relationship would work is because, the first time around, one or both of you were too young to settle down. If the relationship broke up for any other reason, I think its chance of success a second time around is probably pretty slim.
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Well, to be honest, his success has a lot to do with why we separated the first time. From a younger age he was always involved in many activities at once, and he excelled at all of them. He did sports, he modeled, he got a degree in Biochemistry, he coached little league, he was a volunteer firefighter... The list goes on and on. About six months into our engagement I started to feel neglected because he was rarely spending time with me. Then he was invited to speak during this week-long trip to London for some kind of science conference and ended up staying for almost a month. During this time he never texted or called me, including our anniversary. So one night I got drunk and had sex with a stranger I met at the bar. When my fiance got back from London, I told him and he left me.

Long story short, I definitely have some abandonment issues. I think communication is key in a relationship and I felt that his plate was too full back then to have room for me on it (that sounded kinda sexual in my head but I think it conveys what I'm trying to say well). I'm not asking for undivided attention here, but I definitely don't want to feel like some afterthought. I'm hoping that aspect will be different this time around.
 
Did the girl know about your bisexuality and your ex-boyfriend? Did he? And does the ex-bf know about your heterosexual tryst with this woman? If not, will you tell him?
 
sultrysam said:
Did the girl know about your bisexuality and your ex-boyfriend? Did he? And does the ex-bf know about your heterosexual tryst with this woman? If not, will you tell him?
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She did not know about my ex-fiance or the fact that I have had relationships with men. He knows that I have had relationships with women before but does not know I was seeing this girl for the past month. I have broken things off with her officially.
 
Frankie13 said:
She did not know about my ex-fiance or the fact that I have had relationships with men. He knows that I have had relationships with women before but does not know I was seeing this girl for the past month. I have broken things off with her officially.
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Interesting. It probably wouldn't have worked with the girl anyway. She'd have found out about your bisexuality eventually and that likely wouldve ended things.

Now the only thing you'd have to be concerned about is your man. I know you said he knew about past relationships with women, but would he be okay with knowing that you still have interest in women and recently had one with a woman that you ended things with for him?
 
sultrysam said:
Interesting. It probably wouldn't have worked with the girl anyway. She'd have found out about your bisexuality eventually and that likely wouldve ended things.

Now the only thing you'd have to be concerned about is your man. I know you said he knew about past relationships with women, but would he be okay with knowing that you still have interest in women and recently had one with a woman that you ended things with for him?
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I don't think it would bother him. He's a very open-minded person and a free thinker. Even so, I'm not going to say anything to him about her because I just don't see the point. I do feel bad about the way I ended things with her though, because I do think she's a really great person and we had something going. But in the end I feel I made the decision that is going to make me the happiest.
 
There is a reason is an ex. Have you forgotten it?
 
sixthson said:
There is a reason is an ex. Have you forgotten it?
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The reason is he neglected me for weeks and I cheated on him. It wasn't a pretty situation but we both were at fault. I'm looking at this as a chance to start over and rebuild our relationship.
 
Frankie13 said:
The reason is he neglected me for weeks and I cheated on him. It wasn't a pretty situation but we both were at fault. I'm looking at this as a chance to start over and rebuild our relationship.
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You seem to be still in love with him so I hope things turn out well for you guys this time :-)
 
Isn't there a Mary MacGregor song about this?
 
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