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Ever have a surreal period in your life?

Anxiety. I never thought it would affect someone like me. In fact, I never even knew it existed in this sense before I 'fell victim' to it. One day I had a job, I was studying, I had a girlfriend (:rolleyes:); Then, it seemed, the next, my whole world was turned upside down and I had nothing but anxiety. Cancer? Diabetes? Heart problems? .. The objects of my every thought; The Doctors, the Acupuncturist, the Pharmacy .. The only places I dared visit outside of my own home.

A vicious cyclical pattern of insomnia and poor appetite created more and more physical symptoms to add to an ever growing list of possible illnesses.

Urine tests, blood tests, a holter monitor, ultrasounds and xrays. Each week a new test and the following spent anxiously awaiting its result.

Lack of varietal stimulation, self-induced social isolation and sleep depravation resulted in the days blurring together. Remembering yesterday's events? Impossibly difficult. What did I have for lunch yesterday? ..... Wait, what day is it? ..... How long has this been going on? What? It's December? Wow.

What kind of a life is this? Surely it's not my life? I'm just a normal 20 year old guy who spends his time working, going out with friends and half-assing his studies, right?

Oh.....I guess not.
 
The most recent would have to be the birth of our son, Nikolas. The pregnancy was not so surreal because we had been down this path before, only to have the birth mother change her mind. So, we lived in hope, but we never gave ourselves over fully to it. But when we got the call that they were going to deliver him, I remember getting on the plane and asking God not to let him be born until we got there. We got to experience his birth within hours of our arrival. When his head came out with all his black hair, I knew he was ours, but it was a dream-like experience. Even when we got to touch him for the first time with the birth fluids still on him, I couldn't believe it. When they took him to neo-natal ICU and the doctors had to examine him because of some health concerns related to his small size and lung development, I told Tomas to hurry up so we could get out of there and get home with him. When we were boarding the plane, I kept having these unreal thoughts that someone would stop us and tell us we couldn't have him. When we drove into our driveway, our sons and lots of our friends came pouring out of our home.
When Tomas put our newborn son into the arms of his 100 year old Grandmother, I had all these controlled emotions welling up inside me. Then she started to cry and I lost it.
We really didn't sleep that night because it was so unbelievable that we had a baby and we got up so often just to look at him...maybe to pinch ourselves to be sure we hadn't just dreamed it all.
 
Yes, I am going through an unbelievable time right now.

I began the new decade, 2000, on top. I had a new job making great money. I was making more money than I had ever made! This job gave me to opportunity to travel nationally and internationally too.

I lost this job four years later due to a lay off. So, I started my own business selling real estate.

Then the recession hit, thank you Wall Street Bankers you bunch of fuck ups!

Fast forward to 2010. During this year I lost my car, my home and my business.

I am about a month away from being homeless because that is the amount of money I have in the bank, one more month's rent.

I am well educated, MBA, with lots of "skills, knowledge and abilities," but I just can't find anyone to hire me!

I will be glad when this time in my life is over and behind me!

Calgon take me away!
 
I'm currently in a surreal mode. I don't know if its from the amount of weed or what, but my life is like a sitcom at this point lol!
 
Upon reflection, I feel this way about most of life up until the last year or so.

I can barely relate to my past experiences; it's like someone else went to those places and did those things, went through those emotions. I'm fairly aloof generally though...
 
my entire life has been like a bad woody allen movie. cripes...when is it going to end?
 
From the time I was nine years old, when my father passed away, until I was 18 was a very surreal time for me. A drill sergeant screaming and spitting in my face snapped me out of it.
 
...I don't have anything to add... but I did gather-up a big bucket of (*8*) to bring in and hand out to everyone....free-of-charge...

(*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*)
(*8*)help yourself, guys(*8*) (*8*) (*8*)
(*8*) (*8*) (*8*)(*8*)
(*8*) (*8*) everybody take one(*8*) (*8*)
 
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