Ever tempted to be Bi-Sexual ?

[Comrad]

Ok I'm hoping i word this right, if things start sounding a bit off, please just bear with me.

Ok i have a serious issues (well not that serious but still) when it comes to me being gay, i dislike it in a since just because i don't think i will ever be able to tell my family members and to my mutual friends.
But so far tho out my entire life i have had two openly gay friends, but even they them self aren't completely gay, there bi-sexual, but they go back to guys and girls like its just the thing to do, but if you look around your self, it kinda of is .

A few months ago i told my self that i liked guys 100% and that i could never see my self with any woman ever again, now for some reason i see my self going back to women, but not for all of the right reasons. I'm just starting to think, I'm being effected. And i was thinking if i did go BI, then i could just bring girls home to my parents , then i could always just sleep with men on the side lines. I just dont want to be looked down up on for me likeing men and men only.

Get what I'm saying ?
I'm not sure if anybody can understand what i just wrote because even I'm having trouble trying to figure out what i just said.

 

[herenthere]

Sounds like you are starting to deal with your sexuel side.
No need to label yourself, just be true, there is a whole lots of things worse than being gay.
I agree totally with vermilion, don't cause needless pain for others, while you explore your idenity

 

[spikethecat]

what I think you are telling me is that you are afraid of what people may think of you if you come out as gay. That is OK. That is a natural reaction. You will be suprised about how many of your friends and relatives don't really care that you are gay. Don't drag an innocent girl into your conflict. Don't pretend to be something your not. It sucks. Have you ever had to tell your parents that you wrecked the car? You don't want to, but you just get it over with and in a little while everything works itself out. for that matter, why do you have to tell anyone at all? Just do what you do. Some will ask, and others won't. People don't come out as straight, why come out as gay? Don't make it a big issue. I came out to a certain group of friends a while back when I made some off color comment. When asked about it i just said "yea, you didn't know? so anyway ...." and just kept on with my conversation. Give them a little time to digest it and keep going. It is only a big deal in your head. They don't care what you do with your dick as long as it is not pointed at them.

ABOVE ALL ELSE TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE

I hope this helps.

 

[rosko86]

Why do you have to tell anyone at all? Just do what you do. Some will ask, and others won't. People don't come out as straight, why come out as gay? Don't make it a big issue. I came out to a certain group of friends a while back when I made some off color comment. When asked about it i just said "yea, you didn't know? so anyway ...." and just kept on with my conversation. Give them a little time to digest it and keep going. It is only a big deal in your head. They don't care what you do with your dick as long as it is not pointed at them.

Ditto! I could not have put it better myself.

 

[TriBi]

Maybe you should Google Kinsey (the Kinsey Report) and have a look.

Bisexual as a label can be very misleading - and I generally tend to avoid these sorts of discussions because, often as not, they are started/largely frequented by people with an axe to grind against bisexuals.

A lot of people seem to think that almost every bisexual is "Gay in denial" or, alteratively, are out to screw (and screw up) gay guys then go callously back to a female partner.

There are a proportion of people who are 95-100% straight or 95-100% gay - and will almost certainly never have any sexual thought/experience outside of their declared orientation.

There is also a broad spectrum in the middle - which is very broad and much harder to define - but generally gets lumped into the category of "Bisexual" because it is the easiest (tho' not neccessarily most appropriate) "label" to apply.

What about the "straight" guy who is open minded enough to try sex with another guy, but decides that "it's not really for me" or "It's OK, but I really prefer girls" - do you label them as "Bi" because they have been bold enough to experiment?

The same goes for Gay guys who have a sexual experience with a girl "to see what it's like".

There are a whole other range of other "preferences" out there from the "can fall equally for girls and guys" to the "I mainly think of myself as gay, but every once in a while a girl will come along who knock my socks off" (and vice versa) scenario.

You will also hear the "I enjoy sex with another guy but find for a greater emotional connection with a woman" descriptions. Some of the Bi bashers will laugh at this - and automatically go into the usual "he's just gay but can't accept it" rant. (I can accept it - I've been there.)

Yes - there are the gays who are in denial and use girls as a "cover" - tho' in the more progressive and accepting parts of (particularly western) society I think these are becoming fewer.

I also believe that, as well as sexuality being "fluid" it can also "shift" quite substantially over time. For some this can mean a slide back and forth from the Hetero to the Homo sides of the scale - for others it can be a progression from one to the other over a period of time.

For yourself in particular, it does sound as if you are primarily gay but find yourself in a situation where you are reluctant to accept the likely stigma that will go along with being open about it. You will find a lot of people here will be pretty condemning about a person who hides their sexuality or who "uses" other people (either as "cover" or for casual gay sex "on the side"). A lot of people are genuinely against "cheating" in any form - so be prepared for some of the comments you may receive along these lines.

Hope this helps.

 

[belamy]

Sounds like you need a one-way ticket to San Fran.

HOODEDRAT VERSION: SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED A ONE-WAY TICKET TO SAN FRAN.

 

[iah822003]

From what I've read, bisexuals also seem to be looked down upon too...

 

[FabFairy]

No I've never been slumming!! LOL

 

[BoSoxFanVa]

When I was in college, I dated a girl for two years and I'm sad to say I used her as a cover. I wanted to be accepted within my group of friends and I also wanted a girlfriend to bring home to the family. At the time, I didn't think that I was doing much damage to her because I did have feelings for her, but deep down inside I knew we would never have a future. When the meltdown happened, I did tell her I was sorry but boy did I screw her up. To this day, I feel guilty about lying to her for the two years we dated. I took two years away from her that she will never get back because I was too afraid to face the truth about myself. That was a cruel thing to do.

Like the other guys said in the previous threads, don't screw around with other people's feelings.

Be true to yourself first.

 

[Soilwork]

i could just bring girls home to my parents , then i could always just sleep with men on the side lines. I just dont want to be looked down up on for me likeing men and men only.

I think I just bit clear through my tongue.

fuck it.


I've said a million times that I won't date bi men because they pull shit like ^^ that.

I'd like to think that most bi men would be disgusted by what you just suggested... not only because having separate rules for male and female partners is lame (they're people, not furniture), but because you're kinda underscoring the notion that SOME people may have around here that bisexuality isn't real.. it's just people who lack the gonads to live on their own terms.

I don't personally bellieve that bi men don't exist. But when you toss out things like "I'll be able to publicly date women and secretly fuck men when no one is looking"... well.. you know..

 

[Zeremonie]

I think Tribi's post is amazing and you should really look at it.

Honestly, you do sound like perhaps you're a gay man having difficulty with the stigma of being gay, but I'm also an absolute believer that there are many bi men out there, and huge variations in those shades of gray.

Writing from the perspective as one of the women on the board, I can only reiterate what has been said about playing with one's emotions. A woman doesn't like to be cheated on be it with boys or girls. There are a very small percentage of women who'd be willing to be involved in a closed loop relationship (I know that I could consider it) but this is only a tiny group of women.

I wish you the best of luck dealing with this. It does sound like you need support and strength - I do believe that if you're gay you'll make peace with your soul when you come out.

Just my two cents.

 

[RenaissanceMan]

From what I've read, bisexuals also seem to be looked down upon too...

Looked down upon from both sides instead of just one. And each thinks they can convert you to their side. For some reason this is a cop-out.

And i was thinking if i did go BI, then i could just bring girls home to my parents , then i could always just sleep with men on the side lines. I just dont want to be looked down up on for me likeing men and men only.

Personally, I would rather be looked down upon by some people for "liking men and men only" than looking down on myself for living a lie, pulling a woman into it, and "just sleeping with men on the side lines".

 

[Riverrick]

Get what I'm saying ?
I'm not sure if anybody can understand what i just wrote because even I'm having trouble trying to figure out what i just said.

Comrad, you're a confused 20 year old who's mind has been fucked with your entire life and who now is trying to sort things out.

Listen to what people are saying. Pretending that you like girls and screwing guys on the side is not going to buy you any happiness or sense of self. Just a lot of confusion and guilt.

 

[jaysizzles]

It's not fair to you or the women you may string along to pretend to be bi...something you know you are not. You already know what you are...you are gay...and it's okay. Don't live your life for others expectations. This is the only life you get... so live it...don't pretend to live it. (sorry ...I know it sounds cliche but it's true)

 

[gefsmith]

Re: Wanting to be bi...

I was at a sex club were there were a couple of female hookers working there to get the straight guys in.

She was sucking off this totally hot guy and I just wanted to get closer.

Well she was letting me close and I even had a finger or two inside her... That was when I was poised with a condom ready to go on my cock and about to fuck her but I was not able to make that step, the wierd thing was that I felt odd fucking a woman without her explicit invitation despite her being totally cool with my fingers inside her.

It would have been interesting to see what would have happend if I did fuck her.

Man that guy was fucking hot!

G

 

[Lube]

Erie-oh, there definitely are good guys out there. You just need to search a little harder. But they are there. Don't give up hope. It's a good thing you came out of the closet.

Living in the closet (or pretending to be bi) is what guys did 20, 30, 40+ years ago. There's no need for that anymore.

Be who you are. You will find the right one eventually.

 

[Christopherb36]

Erie-oh, there definitely are good guys out there. You just need to search a little harder. But they are there. Don't give up hope. It's a good thing you came out of the closet.

Living in the closet (or pretending to be bi) is what guys did 20, 30, 40+ years ago. There's no need for that anymore.

Be who you are. You will find the right one eventually.

Well said...I concur.

 

[NW007]

I really like and would agree a lot with what Tribi posted