Ever wonder what goes through an anti-social person's head?

[Kahaih]

The biggest problem right now is he is hogging the record book. I have asked someone else to get it from him. No go on that. He is ignoring all my calls, texts, and emails. I will personally go out there tonight to get it from him. We have an audit coming up and everyone is nervous without the record book.

Regarding firing, I would rather not get there. Like I said before, he has seniority. He is on night shift now so he is not bothering anyone. I just need that goddamn book that he took out of the office.

The bait.

 

[coltonhaynes]

Fear.

Some anti-social fear others might hurt them if they try socializing. In that case, the anti-social try hurting their counterpart before they can.

Others do not socialize because they feel it has no point and the people they have to socialize with won't like them anyway.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Was this thread really about someone who is anti social or just a thread to gripe about an employee?

 

[zombiekiller]

Was this thread really about someone who is anti social or just a thread to gripe about an employee?

Exactly what the OP says. What exactly goes through someone's head when he is anti social and doesn't respond to enquiries? Is there a goal in mind?

 

[peeonme]

Maybe he is pissed that even though he has seniority that he got stuck on the night shift?
Maybe he has a feeling that people talk behind his back?
He probably isn't a charming person through no choice of his own and is tired of being targeted.

 

[sixthson]

Was this thread really about someone who is anti social or just a thread to gripe about an employee?

Bingo!

 

[sixthson]

Maybe he is pissed that even though he has seniority that he got stuck on the night shift?
Maybe he has a feeling that people talk behind his back?
He probably isn't a charming person through no choice of his own and is tired of being targeted.

and...

Maybe he has learned there are no consequences for his actions?
Maybe he knows he has seniority.?
Maybe he doesn't give a damn?
Maybe he knows the kind of people he is dealing with?

 

[zombiekiller]

Maybe he is pissed that even though he has seniority that he got stuck on the night shift?
Maybe he has a feeling that people talk behind his back?
He probably isn't a charming person through no choice of his own and is tired of being targeted.

Actually, we put him on night shift because of how he doesn't communicate with others. We thought since night shift is slow and there are a lot less people working we figured he will be happier there. Apparently, it made it worse.

 

[Willie Boy]

Fear.

Some anti-social fear others might hurt them if they try socializing.

That is often the case with social anxiety, which this individual may suffer. In any case he seems like a quiet individual who just wants to do his job and be left alone. That others insist on invading his space is the real issue.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Exactly what the OP says. What exactly goes through someone's head when he is anti social and doesn't respond to enquiries? Is there a goal in mind?

I think he thinks that you're a chatty micromanager and taking time to stop and change gears to answer a question to something that he's 4 steps ahead of you on is a waste of time and nonproductive. If you want to know what is going on at the job site get off your desk and the gossipy water cooler and go check it out for your self.

Just guessing.

 

[zombiekiller]

I think he thinks that you're a chatty micromanager and taking time to stop and change gears to answer a question to something that he's 4 steps ahead of you on is a waste of time and nonproductive. If you want to know what is going on at the job site get off your desk and the gossipy water cooler and go check it out for your self.

Just guessing.

Well, for one I have said several times he's not answering other people as well. So, this is not a personal issue between him and me.

That said, I just spoke with the division manager. Steps are now being taken to deal with this issue. End of story.

My apology for having interjected my frustration at work into this thread. As I said before, my intention for this thread isn't about this 1 guy. It's about what goes through people's heads when they decide to ignore communication from other people. I'm have encountered various versions of this personality trait before. Very unreliable when it comes to getting a reply to enquiries.

One last note on the work thing. It is literally his job to let me know what is going on at all times. With a project as big as $100 million, there are simply too many things going on at any one time that it is physically impossible for me to be everywhere at once. This is why we have a chain of command. This is how our organizational system works. If I have to go check out every single thing that's going on at the dozen different sites we have, then what is the point of having the CM's at the various locations?

 

[sixthson]

How does he respond when you guys talk to him about this? What is his explanation.

Don't worry about bringing your work issues into a thread. It makes a nice break from worrying about your bf jacking off with some hot Italians.

 

[buckeyrex]

Wisely accept the introvert for who he is. Don't expect him to change just because you want him to. Be wise enough to realize we are not all created equally. And move on.

 

[Benvolio]

Anti social is probably wrong word, since he does not meet the criteria for anti-social personality disorder. Unsocial is probably a better term.

 

[coltonhaynes]

Do they think it is exhausting to interact?

I'ts nice to see you consider that option. ever heard of an introvert's hangover? I'm not exactely anti social, but I don't like being around others 24/7. If I'm forced to socialize, I need some time for myself afterwards. Otherwise interacting gets too much for me. This doesn't match how your colleague behaves exactely, because I do enjoy being around other people, but in decency. As you say, it can be exhausting.

 

[Willie Boy]

One last note on the work thing. It is literally his job to let me know what is going on at all times.

So he's expected to what, call you every five minutes with an update? That is extremely ridiculous.......
Back when I ran a division I basically had employees handling things and I was responsible for projects in excess of your $100M mark. I found it best to have people who knew the job, understood what was required, and capable of contacting me if things weren't as they were supposed to be so we could get things corrected. I didn't bother attempting to micromanage everything, I trusted the people I hand picked for the job, I relied on their capabilities (the reasons I chose them to begin with). I had more than a few introverts working for me, when things were running smooth I never really heard a thing out of them. If something was off I received a heads up while they corrected the problem. The follow up was either that they had the issue resolved and I double checked it if needed, or we got a few more people in there to help resolve the issue. They new how to handle most issues and it was rare they needed my involvement. I can't imagine the stress one would go through attempting to micromanage every second of every hour of every day..... although that does explain quite a bit as far you and your posts on this site.

With a project as big as $100 million, there are simply too many things going on at any one time that it is physically impossible for me to be everywhere at once. This is why we have a chain of command. This is how our organizational system works. If I have to go check out every single thing that's going on at the dozen different sites we have, then what is the point of having the CM's at the various locations?

 

[Kyanimal]

I enjoy, and think I'm rather good at, what I do. When I'm involved in a project, always under deadline pressure, it has my full attention. If I screw up the smallest detail it can have wide ranging repercussions, much like a pond ripple developing into a tsunami. It is paramount that I stay laser focused. I sincerely care about the outcome. It is a direct reflection on me, my capabilities, and in the big picture, also a reflection on the company.

I am there to actually accomplish things, not pretend to encourage them to theoretically happen. I am not there to socialize with my co-workers. I am not there to be distracted. I am not there to appease management.

I am there to meet, or exceed, the clients' expectations. The bottom line is the quality of what I produce. And, if that requires running a bit over deadline, what will be remembered is whether everything was Right. If it's on time but slightly flawed that is far worse than being a tad late.

Diversions of any kind are a major annoyance. And, management seems to be the greatest source of frustration. Even a simple inquiry, like, "How's it going?" will get under my skin. Though I don't, I'd like to be able to reply, "Why the fuck are you bugging me right now? Go the hell away, and let me get this done!"

Though night shift was not ideal, in relation to my "real" life, it was better than days in the sense there were fewer "Flying Monkeys" in "The Kingdom", and I could actually get more done.

I WISH I had the guts, and could get away with, ignoring phone calls, and emails, from internal sources. Though I realize it is their job to keep track of things, I view management as general interference to getting anything Solidly accomplished.

 

[zombiekiller]

I enjoy, and think I'm rather good at, what I do. When I'm involved in a project, always under deadline pressure, it has my full attention. If I screw up the smallest detail it can have wide ranging repercussions, much like a pond ripple developing into a tsunami. It is paramount that I stay laser focused. I sincerely care about the outcome. It is a direct reflection on me, my capabilities, and in the big picture, also a reflection on the company.

I am there to actually accomplish things, not pretend to encourage them to theoretically happen. I am not there to socialize with my co-workers. I am not there to be distracted. I am not there to appease management.

I am there to meet, or exceed, the clients' expectations. The bottom line is the quality of what I produce. And, if that requires running a bit over deadline, what will be remembered is whether everything was Right. If it's on time but slightly flawed that is far worse than being a tad late.

Diversions of any kind are a major annoyance. And, management seems to be the greatest source of frustration. Even a simple inquiry, like, "How's it going?" will get under my skin. Though I don't, I'd like to be able to reply, "Why the fuck are you bugging me right now? Go the hell away, and let me get this done!"

Though night shift was not ideal, in relation to my "real" life, it was better than days in the sense there were fewer "Flying Monkeys" in "The Kingdom", and I could actually get more done.

I WISH I had the guts, and could get away with, ignoring phone calls, and emails, from internal sources. Though I realize it is their job to keep track of things, I view management as general interference to getting anything Solidly accomplished.

I'm sure what you feel is very similar to what he feels.

You don't think that the team needs to know your progress?

 

[mydrew1]

One thing is for sure; if they're a character in a movie they don't do well. If it's a horror/action movie, well, they're like the stiff, anti-social team-member that separates and gets killed because they foolishly went off alone.

Interesting how introverts insert themselves into team-oriented things but expect to get away with intentional separation. Like hypocrisy; they 'want it both ways' as they say.

 

[zombiekiller]

One thing is for sure; if they're a character in a movie they don't do well. If it's a horror/action movie, well, they're like the stiff, anti-social team-member that separates and gets killed because they foolishly went off alone.

Interesting how introverts insert themselves into team-oriented things but expect to get away with intentional separation. Like hypocrisy; they 'want it both ways' as they say.

Actually this is my thought as well. Why do introverts go into a career that required teamwork? There are plenty of careers out there that doesn't require you to keep your boss updated all the time.

This morning at about 630, I just got out of my shower when one of the CM's called me informing me that his crew will start pouring concrete at 8 am. I thanked him and made a mental note. See? That was quick and painless. I keep telling everyone that I am available 24/7. Call me anytime if they have something to report or something happened or if they have a question. Why keep secrets?