You keep applying actions or behaviors to introverts as if these are exclusive to these individuals and it is not.
The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums
-
Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community
In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
If you do not have an account, please register.
REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your InfoTo register, turn off your VPN; you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.
Ever wonder what goes through an anti-social person's head?
- Thread starter zombiekiller
- Start date
Sincitywanker
Porn Star
Zombiekiller,
There is no more an "introverted attitude" than there is a female attitude or a black attitude or a gay attitude. You have a bad employee, who may be an introvert. If you use him as an example to justify your opposition toward future introverts (apparent--it's not like we wear a scarlet I on our foreheads), you're being as unjust as someone who points toward a bad experience...Well, you know what I'm saying.
During my time at my last job I negotiated a contract with a major software vendor, interviewed applicants for positions, gave presentations for overseas offices to describe what our department did, and worked all night on a few occasions to meet deadlines--a couple of times with my pre-teen son sleeping under a desk in my office. You said something in response to my earlier post about assuming a personality to cover my introversion, but that's not really true. I wasn't playing a part. I was able to be active and engaged and to do it successfully, although it exhausted me, probably more than it might have a typical extrovert.
You really need to separate your attitude toward one bad employee from your attitude toward what we're all assuming is his governing character trait.
There is no more an "introverted attitude" than there is a female attitude or a black attitude or a gay attitude. You have a bad employee, who may be an introvert. If you use him as an example to justify your opposition toward future introverts (apparent--it's not like we wear a scarlet I on our foreheads), you're being as unjust as someone who points toward a bad experience...Well, you know what I'm saying.
During my time at my last job I negotiated a contract with a major software vendor, interviewed applicants for positions, gave presentations for overseas offices to describe what our department did, and worked all night on a few occasions to meet deadlines--a couple of times with my pre-teen son sleeping under a desk in my office. You said something in response to my earlier post about assuming a personality to cover my introversion, but that's not really true. I wasn't playing a part. I was able to be active and engaged and to do it successfully, although it exhausted me, probably more than it might have a typical extrovert.
You really need to separate your attitude toward one bad employee from your attitude toward what we're all assuming is his governing character trait.
I'm using this guy's acrions as example because it is happening right now. The thing that is frustrating to me is this ia not the first time I have encountered this kind of attitude. I would have dismissed it as just this one time if it really is this one time.
Again, if you are not receptive of people bothering you, why go into a profession that literally requires team members to bother each other?
Sincitywanker
Porn Star
Oh, zombiekiller,
I hope you'll kill any zombies that come after me! It seems like a fair exchange for all my writing (which I realize is more or less unsolicited and entirely voluntary, but I do hope you'll save me when they come after my brain. And read yesterday's Dinosaur Comics, which I can't link to because the link takes you to the site but not the specific comic. Well, here http://www.qwantz.com/index.php, and if it has changed, it's the one about more highly evolved zombies.)
After my last post I told myself I wouldn't write any more, but I have one question and one comment on your last post. When you say it's not the first time you've encountered this kind of attitude, do you mean with him or with other employees. If it's with him, I repeat what I've said before--he's a bad employee. If it's with others, maybe your hiring and training process needs more work.
As for the comment: What profession is there that is so cut and dried that you can say for certain at the outset that it will or won't require certain activities? All those extra non-introvert things I mentioned above were not part of my job description (well, staying late to finish a project was kind of implicit, but it is for any job), but they needed to be done and I was the best person to do them. From your description, your employee sounds a little like Homer Simpson--he had to sit in one place and be in charge of a record book. His failure to do that mean either that he was incompetent or that no one explained at the outset to him that answering the phone any time it rang and surrendering the record book were essential parts of the job.
I really will try to make that my last word. I hadn't intended to be a spokesperson for a personality trait, but here I am. Besides, I hear grunting and scratching noises outside, and OH NO!
I hope you'll kill any zombies that come after me! It seems like a fair exchange for all my writing (which I realize is more or less unsolicited and entirely voluntary, but I do hope you'll save me when they come after my brain. And read yesterday's Dinosaur Comics, which I can't link to because the link takes you to the site but not the specific comic. Well, here http://www.qwantz.com/index.php, and if it has changed, it's the one about more highly evolved zombies.)
After my last post I told myself I wouldn't write any more, but I have one question and one comment on your last post. When you say it's not the first time you've encountered this kind of attitude, do you mean with him or with other employees. If it's with him, I repeat what I've said before--he's a bad employee. If it's with others, maybe your hiring and training process needs more work.
As for the comment: What profession is there that is so cut and dried that you can say for certain at the outset that it will or won't require certain activities? All those extra non-introvert things I mentioned above were not part of my job description (well, staying late to finish a project was kind of implicit, but it is for any job), but they needed to be done and I was the best person to do them. From your description, your employee sounds a little like Homer Simpson--he had to sit in one place and be in charge of a record book. His failure to do that mean either that he was incompetent or that no one explained at the outset to him that answering the phone any time it rang and surrendering the record book were essential parts of the job.
I really will try to make that my last word. I hadn't intended to be a spokesperson for a personality trait, but here I am. Besides, I hear grunting and scratching noises outside, and OH NO!
^^ It is not the first time I have encountered this kind of resistance to communication from people. As in I have met others who are simply unreliable to pick up the phone or return a text. Work and outside of work.
I just got a text message just now telling me the work on a bent cap just finished without incident. See how easy and painless it is?
Regarding the job description, in engineering there is no such thing as a one man show these days. In fact, it says so in the job description for construction manager. Be able to work well with others and open communication.
I actually wouldn't mind a zombie apocalypse right now. Got my super sharp sword with me.
I just got a text message just now telling me the work on a bent cap just finished without incident. See how easy and painless it is?
Regarding the job description, in engineering there is no such thing as a one man show these days. In fact, it says so in the job description for construction manager. Be able to work well with others and open communication.
I actually wouldn't mind a zombie apocalypse right now. Got my super sharp sword with me.
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2010
- Posts
- 23,953
- Reaction score
- 70
- Points
- 48
P
peeonme
Guest
If this is truly troubling you then this person is in your head and has some control in your life. Just being an introvert alone does not make someone want to push someone's buttons. You can't make this person comply with your wishes. If you have to have him around
find a way to work around him.
Is there another on the work scene that can take calls or receive a text? If this person complains about being out of the loop tell him to answer his phone.
Just don't play his game with him. I have dealt with people like this, the lesson that I had to learn was to not even try to change their actions, that just encourages them further. Trying to figure him out can be interesting, but it won't change him.
find a way to work around him.
Is there another on the work scene that can take calls or receive a text? If this person complains about being out of the loop tell him to answer his phone.
Just don't play his game with him. I have dealt with people like this, the lesson that I had to learn was to not even try to change their actions, that just encourages them further. Trying to figure him out can be interesting, but it won't change him.
NotHardUp1
What? Me? Really?
There are a lot of employees who think being dysfunctional at work is acceptable. I've seen a lot of it as my co-workers age and they become less flexible.
As usual, there is a balancing act they work where their job knowledge is balanced against their uncooperative nature. As long as they believe they are irreplaceable, they persist. As long as managers buy into that bullshit, the rest of the team suffers.
Whether Zombie's telling the story slant or not isn't really the issue. Like him or not, the scenario he presents is the scenario. Reactions of valor or justice are pretty much just rationalizations by people who already don't like Zombie. This site's not that virtuous.
As usual, there is a balancing act they work where their job knowledge is balanced against their uncooperative nature. As long as they believe they are irreplaceable, they persist. As long as managers buy into that bullshit, the rest of the team suffers.
Whether Zombie's telling the story slant or not isn't really the issue. Like him or not, the scenario he presents is the scenario. Reactions of valor or justice are pretty much just rationalizations by people who already don't like Zombie. This site's not that virtuous.
Ok, thank you for pointing out he is oxcupying my mind which he shouldn't. I will try to ignore him now.
I sincerely hope I don't become like him as I get older.
When I was promoted a few months ago, I told my boss I was kinda scared as I had never been in charge of the engineers before. He said the trick is to make yourself available. He reminded me of when I got hired. I needed the offer letter ASAP so I could give my old company the 2 weeks notice. He made someone in HR crank out the letter and sent it to me on a Saturday.
I guess the guy bothers me so much because he is the opposite of being available. When I finally got a hold of him, he said he will turn the record book into the state office. Not our office. I'm guessing it's his way of resisting. I'll send someone to go pick it up. I swear, if it is not there on Monday...
I sincerely hope I don't become like him as I get older.
When I was promoted a few months ago, I told my boss I was kinda scared as I had never been in charge of the engineers before. He said the trick is to make yourself available. He reminded me of when I got hired. I needed the offer letter ASAP so I could give my old company the 2 weeks notice. He made someone in HR crank out the letter and sent it to me on a Saturday.
I guess the guy bothers me so much because he is the opposite of being available. When I finally got a hold of him, he said he will turn the record book into the state office. Not our office. I'm guessing it's his way of resisting. I'll send someone to go pick it up. I swear, if it is not there on Monday...
borg69unimatrix
Resistance
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2007
- Posts
- 11,829
- Reaction score
- 48
- Points
- 0
When you moved him to night shift was he specifically told it was a punishment because he wouldn't answer his phone?
No. It wasn't punishment. My boss and I discussed it and thought his not liking to communicate with people would be better in night shift. We both thought he would like it there more. There really is little going on at night shift. Mostly earthwork and excavation.
borg69unimatrix
Resistance
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2007
- Posts
- 11,829
- Reaction score
- 48
- Points
- 0
Very few people wouldn't view night shift as punishment. Does he have family? Wife? Kids? You reprimanded him without specifically telling him what he did wrong. Your passive aggressive dancing around the problem isn't addressing the problem.
Tell him specifically what you want from him, and then tell him what the consequences are if he doesn't.
Verbal warning. Written warning. Night shift. Termination.
There should be a company policy that is in place for insubordination. Deal with it instead of escalating all this drama dancing around it.
Tell him specifically what you want from him, and then tell him what the consequences are if he doesn't.
Verbal warning. Written warning. Night shift. Termination.
There should be a company policy that is in place for insubordination. Deal with it instead of escalating all this drama dancing around it.
It is also because there are really two sides to every story. I don't automatically trust to full extent of everyone's story on here myself.
Corrections needed to be made considering the implication that if this man is an introvert and is acting a specific way because of that.
Haha do you really think someone like him would share with us if he has a wife, kids, dogs, etc.? His personal life is a black hole.
After he returns the record book, he'll be out of our hair for good while on night shift. Originally, I was going to rotate people through night shift so that everyone will have to do it. And yes, I was going to include myself in the rotation. But now, I'm leaning toward just keeping him on night shift for the entire project, which will last until December. I just want to see if he will complain about this or not hehe.
Added by edit.
Regarding termination, our company culture regards termination as the absolutely last thing to do after 4, 5, or 6 second chances. It's just not the way we deal with things. If he's still giving us trouble in night shift, I'll find a way to transfer him out of this project.
Yes, there are two sides to every story. I would love to hear his side of the story. But since he's not talking to me or anybody else why he is acting like a dick, his side doesn't really count.
NotHardUp1
What? Me? Really?
In a corporate setting, there IS no allowance for refusal of duty, and communicating with superiors is an obvious duty. Unless the engineer in question is about to bring some sort of whistleblower or ethics violation case, he is in open insubordination, and due process should begin for a corrective action plan or termination, wherever it goes.
borg69unimatrix
Resistance
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2007
- Posts
- 11,829
- Reaction score
- 48
- Points
- 0
What's the company doing to deal with your communication problem? You're as much at fault as he is. You sidestep problems and escalate them by not dealing with them. You have no business being in upper management.
If his communication problem is enough of a problem where it is a hinderance to his and other employees jobs, then this particular employee needs to be told so. Not moved around passive aggressively and other employees in his work place trying to find ways to work with him in a gossipy manner.
As Borg says, failure of this kind of communication to him is also a problem if he is not being told it is as big as a problem as it is being made here in this thread.
Hehe try not to show your dislike for me too much. Beside, where I am it is still considered middle management.
If night shift doesn't work out for him, then we will try something else. This is an engineering firm, not a retail store. We don't let people go at the first sign of trouble.
Also, I found out he has pissed off my boss before, too. Never actually heard my boss raise his voice until now.