Evilly Ugly..and hated

[killdawabbit]

Just wondering why. I have one 'friend' who needs money all the time.
I'm a Christian and gay. I'm an underground Christian...apolitcal. I just don't give a shit about politics..why waste time on lies?
I despise all televangelists. I'm glad Jerry Falwell died.
I am getting very close to justifying suicide. i don't think I will but I get close to it. I wrote a note. I'm mainly worried about what my dog, Eve, would do. What would happen to her?
JUB is a happy fun site...don't blame anyone for ignoring this.

 

[Titanic]

I'm a little confused here bud, what is it that's making you so unhappy? There shouldn't be anything wrong with being Christian, even if you don't attend church (I see no reason for that, by the way, I'm dating an outwardly gay priest).

I can only assume your title was dictating how you feel about yourself. I've looked at your profile and see nothing that's anything like ugly, and I see no reason to hate you. I hope you're just going through a rough time at the moment and this isn't a permanent view of yours.

 

[rareboy]

Well. We must assume that you're not Justwill or Talkinto the Rain returning here to play with people's emotions and fuck with their heads.

Because if you were, you would be evil and hated.

Otherwise, you appear to be someone in crisis.

So what is going on?

I have to suspect that drugs and alcohol are involved here because of the drama in the title and the non sequitur post.

If you have a therapist or family doctor, contact them immediately to discuss these feelings.

If you don't, call a suicide helpline and talk through some of this.

You should know that if you threaten suicide, it is a very serious situation indeed.

The rich, the poor, the atheist and the christian all are prone to the same existential despair, but usually there is a clinical foundation for these depressions.

And by the way. It is likely that your dog will go to a shelter and then be put down if you kill yourself.

 

[shainski]

Please talk to someone in person.

What you are feeling may be fleeting. Don't make a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Find a minister or doctor or a therapist. But please discuss what you are feeling.

 

[hylas]

I'm mainly worried about what my dog, Eve, would do. What would happen to her?

well, if shes locked in the appartment with you, shes gonna eat you. fun for everybody involved!

seriously, if you really are in pain, you need professional help, not an internet forum. but you already know that, dont you?

 

[FirePhoenix]

What is your reasoning behind wanting to kill yourself?

If you are just depressed at the moment or feel lonely find something to do that will get you out of the house and enjoying life, do not just sit, it is the worst thing you can do. If your "friend" only wants money from you then you are better off without them. come on here and talk to us if you feel like that is all you can do... I am sure there are lots of us who you can talk to... like me and the others who have posted in your thread.

I am not sure how religion plays into this, but think about it, god loves you no matter what right? so just don't pay attention to people who tell you otherwise because they prey on peoples insecurities, mainly just for their own gain. Do you really think god hates you for being who you are? If you are a good, kind person that is all you can do.

In all reality your dog, like rareboy said, will be put to sleep if anything should happen to you and there is no one to take her. Another reason not to do it.

Go hug your dog and cry if you need to, but then get up and do something about it, and I am not being mean but do something because if you do not then nothing will change!

Above all... Find help and fight your depression/sadness with everything you can.

 

[rareboy]

Well, apparently the urge passed.

Probably once the OP took a more sober look at the world.

I see the OP is posting on the men in underwear thread, so we should be able to assume the crisis is passed and the dog is still alive.

 

[killdawabbit]

Thanks, everyone. I am embarrassed that I started this thread. I was hoping it would quickly fade into obscurity.
Yea, I'm fine now.
I just don't trust that my friend is telling me all the truth. But I love him anyway. But it's not that obsessive, destructive type of love I've had in the past. It's at least 95% wonderful and I love being with him.
But I could live on if lost him.
Thanks again to all of you.

 

[G-Lexington]

I'm assuming we're all supposed to know what that's all about, so I'll just nod my head in pretend agreement, and move on.

Lex

 

[killdawabbit]

I didn't think anyone would be interested.

 

[bankside]

You've got a lot going on in each of your messages - many ideas and many emotions - you can talk about it here and we'll listen, though it would also be a good idea to talk through some of these things with a doctor or psychologist as none of us (or very few of us) are trained to help people in emotional distress.

And please don't be embarrassed by this thread - honesty about your emotions, getting help if you need it, is better than faking it and just hoping to get through. It's also better than not caring whether you get through it, or not.

If those thoughts have passed, good, but if you feel on the edge of getting pulled under by thoughts like that in the future, come back to this thread and talk about it.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I didn't think anyone would be interested.

In somebody saying "I can't kill myself - who would look after my dog?"

Welcome to Coming Out & Relationships. It's where a bunch of people post problem or issues they're currently grappling with, and a bunch of regulars (and several occasioners) weigh in with their thoughts, advice and occasional lectures and rants. We do this, believe it or not, because we like helping people. We don't like seeing people in a shitload of hurt, and we'd like to think we might be able to ease the burden somewhat. The odds that a would-be suicide thread would be ignored here in CO&R are about as good as a "I just turned 18, but none of you want to see my 11-inch cock" thread being ignored in another section of this messageboard.

Lex

 

[killdawabbit]

LOL, lex.
Yea, I saw a therapist and participated in group therapy for about 6 years. It was very helpful in getting me to where I don't care if anyone knows I'm gay.

I'm just in love with a guy. And I was having trouble trusting him. He had a stroke last December and I've been helping him out financially a little. Does anyone else wonder if they're being used and how do you handle it?