Ex Girlfriend, New Problems

[eat-my-goal]

Hello, long time since I've been here, but been a busy boy, and not had any problems that I struggle to talk to people about in real life. Anyways, I'm still seeing my mate although it's an open relationship tbh, so occaisonally I go on dates and he is fine with that, neither of us wanted to be tied down so that is the decision we came to.

Back to the point of this, as previous threads have told I split up with my girlfriend in November, due to myself being bi. I rarely saw her for a few months after that, until about 3 months ago, in early February. It was in town, saw her and got chatting and we went for a drink and "caught up". It was nice to talk with her after such a long time and she invited me to a fund-raiser "Ball", strictly as friends. Anyways I went and had a great laugh, really good time.

Now this is the bit no-one knows, we have kept this strictly between ourselves because it was a one-off, so why bother anyone about it? I was driving and dropped her off and she invited me in before I head home. We ended up kissing, one thing led to another and you probably can guess the rest. She called it "bonus night" taken from the TV show Friends, and I was happy enough to go along with that.

Anyways having not heard from her since a week or so after that, I recieved a call last Saturday to say she needed to meet me, I agreed and we met up on the Thursday. Anyways to my utter surprise she was pregnant, about 3 months pregnant I'm a safe guy, normally use protection to make sure these things don't happen, but that night was more of a "in the heat of the moment" kinda thing and she assured me she was on the pill. Still very stupid of me, I know.

My head has been fucked up the last few days. I'm not ready to be a dad, I'm 18 ffs. I just dunno what to do?

 

[sixthson]

Ready or not, you're going to be a Dad. If you're old enough to copulate, you should be old enough to take responsibility for your actions.

Lecture over.

Now, you need open, honest communication with her. If she keeps the baby, you owe it to the child to be his Papa. Who knows, you might love it. Will it be easy? Nope, but it is what it is, mate. This is not just about the baby either. You will need to be there for her, as well. Time to be a man.

 

[rareboy]

Boy.

Didn't that turn out well.

I can't imagine she tricked you, but obviously you will need to have a paternity test, if only to screen for hereditary conditions.

Just don't cut and run.

 

[eat-my-goal]

Ready or not, you're going to be a Dad. If you're old enough to copulate, you should be old enough to take responsibility for your actions.

Lecture over.

Now, you need open, honest communication with her. If she keeps the baby, you owe it to the child to be his Papa. Who knows, you might love it. Will it be easy? Nope, but it is what it is, mate. This is not just about the baby either. You will need to be there for her, as well. Time to be a man.

She's against abortion so no chance of that happening. I did ask about a paternity test and she said that if I need it then I can go ahead, but she also insists that no-one else can be the father.

 

[sixthson]

She's against abortion so no chance of that happening. I did ask about a paternity test and she said that if I need it then I can go ahead, but she also insists that no-one else can be the father.

In that case, if she gives birth, you will have a child for which you will be responsible for the next couple of decades. You many not like it, but the child is as much yours as hers. You may not be ready for it, but this is the price you pay for having sex. Perhaps she will not hold you legally responsible, but you have to ask yourself if you feel morally responsible for a life you helped create.
Only you know what you can and will do. Once the child arrives, can't you see this as a beautiful thing?

 

[Telstra]

How about giving it up for adoption?

And, as someone else said, get a paternity test, no matter how much she says it's yours, better be sure.

adoption is not a good idea unless both of the parents are on drugs .

 

[KaraBulut]

Unfortunately, if you're old enough to have sex, you have to be old enough to deal with all the possible consequences.

This is will have more consequences than you could ever have imagined though.

But one thing at a time....paternity testing being the first...

 

[Telstra]

Ha Ha. That's not true.

adoption is not good for the baby.
Last resort ONLY.

 

[chatolandia]

are you crazy Telstra?


I know for a fact that that is so not the true!

Goodness

 

[Eagle653]

In between paternity tests and whatnot, get yourself a good lawyer. You have responsibilities (and rights) in this case, and a lawyer will represent you and help you with "the system."

Good luck.

 

[Telstra]

are you crazy Telstra?


I know for a fact that that is so not the true!

Goodness

what i'm saying is
a good biological parents Vs good adopted parents, i prefer biological parents.

BUT, anything is possible including adoptions.

 

[Telstra]

Why can't it be both biological AND adoptive parents? Some adoptive parents go through an open adoption where there is still contact with the birth parent(s).

yes, that is a good idea. cool a child got 4 parents ... more presents i would say.

 

[eat-my-goal]

Would never go through adoption, don't feel it is right for a child.

She has a scan tomorrow, not really clued up on all of this so not sure what it is for, but she has invited me along. Does anyone know if you can have a paternity test whilst it hasn't been born? Just don't to risk growing attached to it, only to find out I'm not the dad.