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Exactly, what does 'curious' mean?

I say I'm "curious" because I don't know what else to call myself. I don't think I can call myself "bisexual" until I've actually tried sex with other men and confirmed that I really like it, but I'm not sure the way I fantasize about cocks still counts as mere "curiosity". On the other hand, guys turn me on but I'm not remotely interested in sentimental relationships with them, that's something I can only feel for women, so I don't know if I'd count as bisexual anyway. There seem to be so many different and very specific labels these days that I don't know what "bisexual" is actually supposed to mean.
 
Danhard said:
I say I'm "curious" because I don't know what else to call myself. I don't think I can call myself "bisexual" until I've actually tried sex with other men and confirmed that I really like it, but I'm not sure the way I fantasize about cocks still counts as mere "curiosity". On the other hand, guys turn me on but I'm not remotely interested in sentimental relationships with them, that's something I can only feel for women, so I don't know if I'd count as bisexual anyway. There seem to be so many different and very specific labels these days that I don't know what "bisexual" is actually supposed to mean.
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Same boat, to a degree.

I always refer to myself as just sexual, even in real life if someone asks me, I never say straight, I say something like mostly straight or just sexual. Many people just assume I'm bi to make it easier on themselves. Hence why labels are ridiculous. They really don't serve any purpose other than to marginalize people into some pretty little restrictive package so others can use pre-judgmental assumptions on how to interact with you.
 
^ and ^^

I was like you guys too, until I met my ex-bf. I'd only dated women before that and only had sex with no strings with guys and couldn't see it ever being more than just physical, but all that changed after I'd been hanging out with him for a couple of weeks.

Not saying it will change for you two as well, but it might... never say never. ;)

-d-
 
Whenever someone says we need to do away with labels, I have to wonder if they are someone who is basically uncomfortable with who they are. "Gay" is a label and I have no trouble owning it.

It makes no sense to me that a guy can be having sex with both males and females and still call himself curious. Being called something other than straight is not the end of the world. Curious can only apply to the inexperienced, right?
 
sixthson said:
Whenever someone says we need to do away with labels, I have to wonder if they are someone who is basically uncomfortable with who they are. "Gay" is a label and I have no trouble owning it.
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I am very comfortable with who I am. I simply don't see myself as a label, I'm a person not an orientation.

imo, labels can be divisive and destructive and create unnecessary expectations all in the name of conformity. They contribute and often form the basis for those who create negative stereotypes and assumptions about others that do nothing but marginalize and pigeonhole people. I don't like what I have seen happen to people I've known who have decided to "own a label." Ultimately, that label starts to dictate your actions and change how you relate to people and how others interact with you all based on something that's really not all that accurate to begin with and not a true representation of reality or human sexuality.

sixthson said:
It makes no sense to me that a guy can be having sex with both males and females and still call himself curious. Being called something other than straight is not the end of the world. Curious can only apply to the inexperienced, right?
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IRL, I don't use the term curious. It's just a generic inclusive term I picked on this site to cover all the bases since there wasn't an option for just 'sexual'. I suppose I could simply remove that portion of the profile to make it easier for others or I could change it to bisexual to make it easier for others...but then... oh, there goes that crap I just talked about regarding conformity, assumptions and blah, blah, blah.

I prefer not to use the term straight because I'm not and in the real world I get annoyed when people assume I am. I've seen and experienced enough with so-called straight people to know the term is nothing but smoke and mirrors anyway.

I just prefer not to limit myself on who I am and how I am suppose to act based on perceived notions of sexual orientation. As cliched as this may sound, I personally think the labels themselves should be reserved to describe the context of relationships as I see human sexuality as fluid throughout your life.
 
sixthson said:
Whenever someone says we need to do away with labels, I have to wonder if they are someone who is basically uncomfortable with who they are. "Gay" is a label and I have no trouble owning it.

It makes no sense to me that a guy can be having sex with both males and females and still call himself curious. Being called something other than straight is not the end of the world. Curious can only apply to the inexperienced, right?
Click to expand...

Well, I know what I like and how I like it. I just don't like labels because I think they tend to be confusing when one does not fall insdide an "absolute" (i.e. 100% straight or 100% gay) category. I'd rather use an extremely vague term like "curious" than having to find out what the Internet is calling my specific orientation this month.
 
The whole "I don't believe in labels" argument is so incredibly vexing.

These labels exist to categorise us. It's used in every level of life. It's human nature to identify groups of people that are similar to ourselves, as it's easier to socialise with them.

These "labels" are ways of indicating to others whether or not we are interested in having sex with other specific groups. It's all very well and good for bisexual (or curious or heteroflexible or whatever term we're using at the moment) people because they can live "without labels." They can choose whether they want to screw chicks or guys, and therefore don't need to inform one gender or the other that they are interested or not.

However, in a world without THOSE DREADFUL LABELS, how are we to indicate who we're interested in? The label "Gay" serves a wonderful function in indicating to women that I don't want to have sex with them, while indicating to gay men that I might want to have sex with them.

So no, I'm afraid I'm rather partial to my label.

As for the term "curious," I understand it to mean "bisexual but not a direct 50% either way." Typically, curious guys are 10/20% gay, and 90/80% straight, and feel less comfortable in committing to the term "bisexual."
 
Kaigon said:
The whole "I don't believe in labels" argument is so incredibly vexing.

These labels exist to categorise us. It's used in every level of life. It's human nature to identify groups of people that are similar to ourselves, as it's easier to socialise with them.

These "labels" are ways of indicating to others whether or not we are interested in having sex with other specific groups. It's all very well and good for bisexual (or curious or heteroflexible or whatever term we're using at the moment) people because they can live "without labels." They can choose whether they want to screw chicks or guys, and therefore don't need to inform one gender or the other that they are interested or not.

However, in a world without THOSE DREADFUL LABELS, how are we to indicate who we're interested in? The label "Gay" serves a wonderful function in indicating to women that I don't want to have sex with them, while indicating to gay men that I might want to have sex with them.

So no, I'm afraid I'm rather partial to my label.

As for the term "curious," I understand it to mean "bisexual but not a direct 50% either way." Typically, curious guys are 10/20% gay, and 90/80% straight, and feel less comfortable in committing to the term "bisexual."
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I'm not advocating a "world without labels", I just don't like to use them on myself. If they work for you and you feel proud of owning them, that's great, you have as much right to decide what to call yourself as anyone else. Also, being bisexual, curious or whatever is actually not a free "choose whom you want to screw without giving explanations" card.
 
Danhard said:
Well, I know what I like and how I like it. I just don't like labels because I think they tend to be confusing when one does not fall insdide an "absolute" (i.e. 100% straight or 100% gay) category. I'd rather use an extremely vague term like "curious" than having to find out what the Internet is calling my specific orientation this month.
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Well, the obvious question which springs to mind reading this is whether or not you believe that 'curious' and 'bisexual' are synonyms.

I think bisexual is a vague term, because it encompasses a dozen shades of grey in between the black and white representing straight and gay without recognising any difference in any of those shades from any other, but I think bisexual and curious are two very different concepts indeed. Curious suggests one does not know whether or not s/he is straight. Bisexual, on the other hand, acknowledges that one is not straight, and in no uncertain terms.

-d-
 
blackbeltninja said:
Bisexual, on the other hand, acknowledges that one is not straight, and in no uncertain terms.
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That would explain why some people assume i'm bi.

Personally though, I still get hung up on the whole sex and relationship aspect of it. Most would also assume that by identifying as bi you are automatically looking to date men, possibly be in a relationship with a dude and have anal sex and for the most part, those assumptions would be correct. I'm not really interested in any of that, quite the quandary.
 
^This is exactly why I describe bisexual as a vague term - it doesn't say tell the whole story. Some of us can do romance with both genders, some can only do romance with one. It is a very grey area.

Either way, I maintain that bisexual and curious are two very different mindsets.

-d-
 
^yeah that does make sense and I would agree to an extent. I get the feeling not everybody sees it that way though, regarding Bisexuality. The term ambiguous would do nicely.
 
I put "curious" as well. I consider myself straight in that I only date women and I could never see myself in love or in a relationship with another guy, but I do think the male body can be pretty hot and I love looking at it. I've never had sex with a guy but I've had sex with women hundreds of times. It's just a visual thing for me, it's hard to totally explain.
 
So "curious" merely means a "confused, 'mostly-straight'
and/or immature bisexual," yes? Got it. :roll:

But seriously, regarding Bisexuals: Caveat copulare

et
sit vis vobiscum!**wars**
 
^ cute.

As I mentioned before, for me, on this site specifically, it's just a generic catch-all term. To acknowledge that I' m not straight but more importantly to not be misleading other dudes into thinking I'm looking for something more serious like dating, relationships or anal. I agree with BBN, he makes sense, I just feel not everyone shares his perspective on bisexuality. Been down that road before in misleading others simply because they assume something that isn't true, it's just not pretty, it's not fair to others. That's all.
 
Its ironic that straight men can be "curious" when it comes to a gay men's website when I have no desire to be "curious" about a straight men's website.
they all seem to be curious about cock and I sure have had some pretty steamy chat sessions with a few of them

Butch
 
I find "curious" to be a misnomer. In a homophobic culture that steers men towards exclusive heterosexuality, even passing interest in the same-sex is indicative of much deeper desires. If culture drones on and on about how terrible chocolate ice cream is, the fact that many are merely "curious" about it but haven't tried it isn't the least bit surprising.
 
I love men more than women, I don't think I've ever been curious at all... Maybe when I was younger. But when you have tried it all, how can you be curious?

Also, JB, what if you do fall in love with someone who is female while in a relationship with your partner? Would that ever happen? Complications happen and we cannot ignore that if it happens. But I must say though that even if I have love for a woman, the touch of a man is often more than welcomed. I cannot go back to a woman, in my opinion.

Cocks cocks cocks cocks
 
Interesting discussion. Out of all the above I see one clear fact - people have different needs during the stages of there lives. I'm sure that most straight men have some fantasies about cocks during their teenage years, do we then classify them as curious, or is it a passing phase. As one of my friends said: "I'm so horny I can fuck anything that moves."

No amount of classification of people can really pinpoint their personal preferences. Why classify them, let them be free.

If straight guys like to dabble on the "other" side - let them be. Men are born with a competitive streak in all of us, whether it is the nicest car, largest house or biggest cock. That's just the way we are constructed.

The human body is a work of art - both male & female.
 
28josh7 said:
Interesting discussion. Out of all the above I see one clear fact - people have different needs during the stages of there lives. I'm sure that most straight men have some fantasies about cocks during their teenage years, do we then classify them as curious, or is it a passing phase. As one of my friends said: "I'm so horny I can fuck anything that moves."

No amount of classification of people can really pinpoint their personal preferences. Why classify them, let them be free.

If straight guys like to dabble on the "other" side - let them be. Men are born with a competitive streak in all of us, whether it is the nicest car, largest house or biggest cock. That's just the way we are constructed.

The human body is a work of art - both male & female.
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Well said.
 
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