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Eye on turkish guy, unsure how to act.

HunterM said:
...It's like dating before sex.
Click to expand...

No it's not like dating before sex.

DO NOT go into a friendship with this guy with a sexual agenda. it's not fair to him, and dangerous for you.

He won't thank you down the line when he turns out to be straight, and discovers his buddy was after his cock all along.

If you want to be his friend, then be his friend, but don't sit around strategizing how you're going to turn that into sex.

That just reinforces the gay predator stereotype.



IF he's gay, he's in the closet, and if he's in the closet, where do you expect this to go?

What do you want out of this situation? Is he a realistic prospect for whatever that is?
 
The website is a local kind of MySpace. Just to give a description the guy looks a lot like the turkish pop singer Tarkan.

See pic.
viva43d4.jpg


I agree with TX-Beau. I rather stay friends with him and miss the cock than using him for his cock. The latter does not feel right.

I rather be his friend enjoy this and see where this friendship leads to and act accordingly, than facing him in an angry mood.

If he is gay, what I want is just sex and friendship. The situation would probably be the same at his side. We both have a certain cultural background in which being BFs is not possible. Plus I am bi so I rather live in with a woman.

But lets see how this develops. Ill keep u guys posted!

P.S. What is OP?
 
That would be you: the Original Poster (the one who started the thread)
 
One time I was on paltalk and a Turkish guy masturbated to my ass while his girlfriend was in the other room.
We masturbated together often after that until my latop became messed up...and I didn't see him for
like a year...now i don't remember his username.
He was HOT. I miss him.
 
So I went there agina today.

And he was working, kneeding flour. He was very nice to me as usual. I did see him peek at me during the flour kneeding.

I was wearing tights pants, white shirt with a tie. So I became a bit naughty and untied my tie and open a few shirt buttons in front of his eyes. He looked up to me fir a spilt second but didnt say anything.

I told him that I find him a very strong guy that he can work from 5 in the morning till 9 in e evening and that too 7 days a week.
He fixed up my order, asked me waht im gonna do for the weekend. and wished me a ncie weekend. I did the same and told him he would be seeing me tomorrow.

I did notice that he called me brother a few times. I think I am gonna ask him th trans;ation of brother in turkish.
 
I'm not sure how to read this guy. But he has to be suspicious by how often you go to this restaurant.
 
I dont think he is suspicious at all, afterall I am creating revenue for him.

Yesterday I went there again, he greeted me nicely and we talked about holidays clubbing and stuff. He is apart from being hot also a really cool guy.

I even told him that he looks like the tukish pop singer Tarkan. He replied that he hears it a lot. nonetheless he is definitley better.

All of a sudden he says, get yourself something to drink. So I get a can of soda out of the freezer. I asked him how much I need to pay. He says, No need to pay, I am giving it to you!

Afterwards we talked some and then I shook his hand and left.
I thanked him
 
He has to know something is up. Nobody gets Turkish food as often as you do and is not Turkish. And you are clearly only getting it as much to see him. I'm not attacking you but I'm just saying he has to know something is up.
 
I think each of you knows the other one is gay. Make your move!
 
Wouldn't you rather just be careful with any 'moves' and just stay friends? He sounds like an interesting, cool guy. Ask him to go clubbing some day. Start with that.
 
TX-Beau said:
DO NOT go into a friendship with this guy with a sexual agenda. it's not fair to him, and dangerous for you.
Click to expand...
TX-Beau said:
If you want to be his friend, then be his friend, but don't sit around strategizing how you're going to turn that into sex.
Click to expand...

Ally1980 said:
I agree with TX-Beau. I rather stay friends with him and miss the cock than using him for his cock. The latter does not feel right.
Click to expand...

A great decision....

Ally1980 said:
I was wearing tights pants, white shirt with a tie. So I became a bit naughty and untied my tie and open a few shirt buttons in front of his eyes.
Click to expand...

... and a contradiction.
I guess, his behavior is just very friendly and probably is linked to his culture. I mean, aren't Turkish guys often very sincere and brotherly-loving towards their friends? It sounds exaggerated to consider one as such a good friend so fast, but hey... is there really anything beyond being just very friendly?

I would say basically the same that TX-Beau so nicely put out: "If you want to be his friend, then be his friend, but don't sit around strategizing how you're going to turn that into sex."
 
I get the impression that at bottom he is as confused as you are.

Just be good friends; friends often become much more than just friends and then thiings can happens.

Assume that he is still at the job of finding his way in the world of relationships and the lures of sex.

Good luck!
 
At the moment it is still going on as it was, talking, getting my orders. Be nice to each other thats it.

Nothing out of the unusual happend!
 
In the subject line, you say that you're 'unsure' how to act, but just be yourself.

Seriously, if you want take this a step further as friends/lovers/whatever, you also have to to think outside of the box and go beyond the <foodServer/Customer> dynamic.
 
@ Texan_slant: You got a good point there! I am trying to get out of the regular dynamics.

Today, (just a few hours ago) when I was going hom from the gym, I saw him standing outside the restaurant smoking a cigarette. So I greeted him and started talking to him.

I told him I came from the gym. His hand instantly goes to my bicep to 'check' it out. Smiling he says, a bit more work needed abi (brother). Which is true as I started a 2 weeks ago.
He started telling that he has no time to work out and he hasnt got fat in his body. On which I said, you look fine man (he really does look good, he is only a very modest guy). He also said that wrking out for him is not about getting buff but staying in shape and looking good (we so agree).
I shook his hand and bid him goodbye.

Maybe getting him to the gym is a good idea to get out of this dynamics?
 
>>>@ G-Lexington: Ow come on are you serious?

Hell, I know some guys who not only would've fucked him, they would've fucked him several times, drifted apart from him, achieved a pleasant break-up for all concerned, moved on, and forgotten his name by now.

Of course, we don't all move at the same pace. There's nothing wrong with taking things slowly if you both feel comfortable with it. But I do think you should start making your intentions a bit clearer. You don't have to put the full-court press on, but it'd be nice if you were both headed in the same direction. Not so you can drop him like a hot potato if he ain't, but so you won't have to keep playing the fishing/nudging/wondering game anymore. You can just be friends with him, and go find a guy who actually DOES want to get into your pants. And you can take it slow with him, knowing that you'll know what's at the end of that game. :)

Lex
 
Guys in the Middle East and South Asia are not in the habit of thinking and acting as if everyone were either gay or straight. Bisexual behavior is common, but the guys think of themselves as straight. If they are attracted to another man and find out he is gay, they will either seize the opportunity or be frightened off because they associate gayness with being feminine or out of the closet.

This is a generalization; of course there are some guys who go through a process of identifying themselves as gay, like in the West, but secret bisexuality is much more common and surprisingly wide-spread.

Since your profile suggests you consider yourself bisexual, I would suggest you start talking to your friend about girls, and at some point mention that you are also interested in guys, or at least curious. That would be less threatening than if you expressed sexual interest in him directly, and gives him the opportunity to respond in kind or change the subject. That's a difficult conversation to have in the restaurant though.

He's already brought up the subject of girls (and his willingness to make an exception for you on his network list... and perhaps in other ways too?)
 
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