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F My Life!

kevbo

kevbo

Filling in for Tits McGee
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Posts
15,888
Reaction score
3
Points
38
Location
Chicago
Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML
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:badgrin: :badgrin:
 
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

I love it! :lol:
 
Today, I went on a first date with an Egyptian/Cuban sorority girl. I asked her what language she was brought up speaking. She said that her mom spoke to her in Spanish, but that she only ever replied in English. I said, "Oh, kinda like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
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:rotflmao:

This is officially my new boredom solver...
 
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML
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I've had this happen to me before...
 
im supposed to be packing ... instead ... ever since this thread was posted ive been reading these ... now ive lost hours out of my day and my dad comes to get me tomorrow evening to move and im nowhere near ready FML
 
Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe causing me to cough loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was ok. Joklingly I said "Yeah, just dying.." - She replied "You too, huh?" FML
 
Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML
 
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