Fags!

[gsdx]

You have been 'conditioned' to believe that homosexuality is wrong. (For 'conditioned', think Pavlov's dog.) You can become unconditioned, but it's not as easy when you try to do it yourself.

Unfortunately, this conditioning often leads to suicide because the youths simply cannot accept themselves as anything other than 'evil sinners'.

The way I got over it was realizing that it is 'wrong' to some other people. To me, though, it was the only 'right' thing to be. It would have been wrong to lie to myself any longer.

 

[Riverrick]

I remember when I was living in CA and I went to the Gay March on Washington. That was so empowering! For a few days, I was surrounded by gays and lesbians and the norm was to talk and act gay without a second thought. Everywhere in the city.

And then I flew to OH to visit relatives and rented a car and stopped at a gas station. My coat still had the gay pride buttons on it and I walked in without flinching. An attendant asked what the buttons meant and I told him. He looked at me funny and I could no have cared less.

But by 2 or 3 days later, I was feeling less secure about walking about with those buttons on. And slowly my old world closed in around me and my guard went up again. And I noticed how totally unhealthy that was.

 

[PeterPeterPeter]

I think having the right friends helps. There are so many great people out there who are gay, bi, gay-friendly.
When you fall in love with someone who is gay, things really change.
In spite of all the negativity, gay people are often tremendously succesful in the world.
If you are still surrounded by people who say 'fag' and 'queer' it does probably mean you still feel that about yourself. Change yourself on the inside and the outside will change...that's the truth for anyone.
How do you change your old feelings? First step is deciding that you're ready to. The 'power of intention'...& you can start slinging out the old rubbish that has been holding you back from really loving yourself and start enjoying your life.
Everyone has challenges in life to overcome.

 

[Zeremonie]

I remember when I was living in CA and I went to the Gay March on Washington. That was so empowering! For a few days, I was surrounded by gays and lesbians and the norm was to talk and act gay without a second thought. Everywhere in the city.

And then I flew to OH to visit relatives and rented a car and stopped at a gas station. My coat still had the gay pride buttons on it and I walked in without flinching. An attendant asked what the buttons meant and I told him. He looked at me funny and I could no have cared less.

But by 2 or 3 days later, I was feeling less secure about walking about with those buttons on. And slowly my old world closed in around me and my guard went up again. And I noticed how totally unhealthy that was.

That is a great post! I'd usually just make a comment, but I just think this is so insightful that I had to reply.

 

[NameTaken]

- Hiding my sexuality from my grandparents (at parents request) [My parents truely accept me, but I agree with them, my grandparents grew up in a different era before gay was "in"]

My parents requested I don't tell ANY family apart from immediate, not cousins, or anything. :/ Oh well, the rest of my family is VERY religious and VERYConservative (thank god my parents never made us go to a church once in our lives are are very democratic or I'd be ROYALLY fucked) so I understand where they're coming from.

 

[slobone]

Homosexuality is not wrong. It's little things that bug me that sometimes make me wish I wasn't:

- Coming out over and over to new people I meet, and seeing mixed reactions.
- Hiding my sexuality from my grandparents (at parents request) [My parents truely accept me, but I agree with them, my grandparents grew up in a different era before gay was "in"]
- When I was closeted I was sexually active (to girls ), and now my dick is married to my right hand.
- I wouldn't have to worry about things like this.

Yebbut -- if you were straight you'd have a whole different list of problems to deal with. Like persuading some sheila to give you a shag. Or getting one knocked up and having to pay child support for the rest of your life. Not to mention PMS, etc. etc.

I do identify with your first point though. As far as I'm concerned, I'm out of the closet, but since I don't wear a nametag that says Hi! I'm Gay, I find myself constantly having to re-come out, especially when some well-meaning person who doesn't know me very well wants to fix me up with some unattached female. I usually just say "does she have a brother?".

 

[RationalLunacy]

I clicked on the thread coz i thought it was gonna be about Ciggarettes - damn i need me some patches!

Don't feel bad -- I clicked on the thread because I thought the title said "Fangs!" and it was gonna be about vampires.

 

[Riverrick]

Why do you feel the need to come out to everyone you meet. Is being gay such a massive part of who you are?

For ME, the answer is YES!!! It IS a massive part of who I am.

Since this society still makes a big deal out of people being gay, then I for one like to get it out of the way as soon as I meet someone that I am going to be reasonably close to.

"So, are you married? Do you have kids? Do you have a girlfriend?". I can expect these questions. They OUT me right away. Not, do you go rockclimbing?