Falling for an older man

[Adam2299]

Just fyi, I used to be really against the idea of people dating with huge age differences... BUT....

I've been dating a man who is 24 years OLDER than me for the past month, and it's going amazingly well.... He asked me out initially and I was extremely reluctant; but wow.. he's amazing. He respects me. He's genuine. He's kind. He has his shit together. He's mature. He's evolved. He's brilliant. He's beautiful.

And I look at the guys my age, and they're all having random sex and talking about pointless shallow crap, and I feel so lucky to have met this man. It's just weird, because I never thought I would fall for someone so much older! But, so far so good.

Just thought I'd share

 

[BrandonSBCA]

Good for you, I tend to think the same way, a lot of guys my own age talk about nothing but shallow stuff and tend to like guys their own age. Good luck with the relationship.

 

[davy]

sometimes it seems that older guys have things to offer that you never even considered before

 

[caddymac]

Adam, good for you. You have a good relationship so don't worry about it. Not everyone has a problem with age.
Congrats!

 

[wolfwalk]

I've known straight and gay couples that were 20 or more years apart in age and they got along famously. Some people need whatever it is the older person has, and some older folks need younger people to help them keep feeling youthful or whatever. Look at Gina Lollabrigida, she's marrying a guy some 23 years younger than her and they've been going together for about 20 years. So my advice is that if your man loves you, treats you well and is everything that you need or want, just thank God you've got something that most people spend most their lives looking for.

 

[januaryguy]

Congrats Adam. I know how it feels cos my hubby and I are just like that. We met online and he travelled half the world, Oakland, Ca to KL, just to see me and to find out if we are compatible.
Kinda nervous at first but we got along great and have been together for 2 years. We meet several times a year and I hope it last forever and the same for you.

 

[TriBi]

If it works - it works.

It doesn't always...but hey, if you're happy with it - all power to you.

 

[bayern20]

If you like each other, thats great, but, if you want this to be really really long term, if you are 24 now, and he is 48..what happens when he is 65 and you are 41?

 

[TriBi]

If it does last that long (and for some it does) - people learn how to deal with it - and they become aware of ALL the ramifications.

 

[Alive and Free]

Wow Adam that is amazing, how is it going ?

 

[Centexfarmer]

That's great to hear!

Thanks for sharing.

Having been in a relationship where there was only a 14 year difference in age, please allow me to offer that your relationship belongs to the two of you and no one else.

What I mean by this is, don't let others meddle because of their problems with the age difference. Be on the look out, because they're there!

Wishing both of you a long and happy life together!
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[gabriel1]

If you like each other, thats great, but, if you want this to be really really long term, if you are 24 now, and he is 48..what happens when he is 65 and you are 41?

They are still 24 years apart, thats what happens. Life as they know it keeps going on.

 

[JackFTwist]

Just thought I'd share

thanks for sharing the happy news, blessings to you both!

 

[Just_Believe18]

Nothing wrong with age different relationships.

Although, call me cynical when it comes to older men being these great, wise, caring guys who want to settle down. $20 most of them were the same shallow, random sex, with a slutty past young guys you're turned off over

Its just unfortunate it takes gay guys years to get to that point. Compassionate? Loving? Great! Except their best years are behind them now. :/

 

[gabriel1]

Nothing wrong with age different relationships.

Although, call me cynical when it comes to older men being these great, wise, caring guys who want to settle down. $20 most of them were the same shallow, random sex, with a slutty past young guys you're turned off over

Its just unfortunate it takes gay guys years to get to that point. Compassionate? Loving? Great! Except their best years are behind them now. :/

My BEST years are BEHIND me? Honey, these ARE my best years. Financially secure, wisdom from my past guiding me. Tell the young guy I see frequently that my best years are behind me.......

 

[hermanding]

Adam, i AM 65 - although I don't believe it - and i am not falling behind the 41 year olds.
If you love each other, ¡no importa!
ding

 

[mocha_san]

Congrats on finding a great relationship

I'll go out with guys who are older than me, but I tend to draw the line at some point. Even though I am only 18, 19 soon, I am not really interested in just having random sex with guys. I want a long-term relationship, and I don't want to allow myself to fall for a guy many years my senior, due to the fact that if it were to work out, he would, most likely, die before I did, and by a large number of years. I really don't think I could handle that, so I don't want to let myself get into that sort of situation with a man a lot older than I am.

 

[Just_Believe18]

My BEST years are BEHIND me? Honey, these ARE my best years. Financially secure, wisdom from my past guiding me. Tell the young guy I see frequently that my best years are behind me.......

Let me clarify. By best years I mean at the peak of youth. Its a shame guys in their twenties aren't more mature until they hit their thirties and beyond. I'm speaking from experience because I am in an older relationship and my guy doesn't have the energy he used to when he was younger. But he had the stability I wanted (and ironically, minus the slutty past).

 

[NickCole]

Let me clarify. By best years I mean at the peak of youth.

I won't speak for others but objectively speaking my youth were not my best years. Not even close. And this is true for most of the people I know.

Its a shame guys in their twenties aren't more mature until they hit their thirties and beyond.

Life is a journey, not an event. There's a lot to get out of our 20s, and for most of us those things are received, in part, because we're not more mature. Each stage of life withholds something from us and offers something -- the trick is to not obsess over what we don't have but rather to seize the opportunity of what we do have.

I'm speaking from experience because I am in an older relationship and my guy doesn't have the energy he used to when he was younger.

The three worst things about aging are physical deterioration, regret over missed opportunities, and our current society's obsession with youth, which diminishes a general sense of our value. It can cause depression, which results in reduced energy. I'm 50 and when I'm active, happy and feeling good about myself and my life, my energy level is higher than when I was 25.

But he had the stability I wanted (and ironically, minus the slutty past).

It's important to know what we want most -- because we're not going to have it all so if we're going to put effort into making something work it may as well be what's most important to us.

 

[gabriel1]

I could type nickcoles post verbatim except I'm 49 not 50 yet.

OH MY GOODNESS!