So I recently (August 2010) moved to New York. Within the first few weeks, I met a really wonderful guy, whom, at the time, I met merely as a business acquaintance, and nothing more. He was tall, handsome, but I knew very little about him. I also assumed I would never be his type, so I didn't put much weight into it. He was a nice guy, and we seemed to get along.
As time went by, we started hanging out, and became good friends. We have similar personality types, find humor in the same things, and seemingly enjoy(ed) each other's company. I found out that he has a boyfriend (which I didn't know in the very beginning), and of course, I found this slightly disappointing, but again - we were friends, and nothing more.
As the months have progressed, my friend and I have gotten closer and closer. We hang out at least 3 days a week, and we talk via text or phone almost every day. If a day goes by where we don't talk in some form, he finds it weird and sad. His relationship with his boyfriend is falling apart (not because of me - we haven't slept together, I swear to god!), but for many other reasons, so he's going through that, and has found solace, I suppose, in our relationship as friends.
I openly admit that I have developed strong feelings for him over the months, none of which I have admitted to him. Depending on how smart he may or may not be, he may already be aware of these, but not saying anything as not to hurt me. He flirts with other guys (in my presence), yet is always cautious to say "Are ok with me flirting?" I of course smile and say "Who am I to tell you what to do?"
Then the problem of "mixed signals" comes in. He is always telling me, "I love you." He'll run his hands through my hair, or reach over and hold my hand as we walk down the street, or link arms with me. He'll come to my apartment and fall asleep on my bed and take a nap, and I don't wake him up. He has told me many many times how great I am, and how much he loves me and my company.
I am leaving New York soon as I have taken another job in another state. This is killing my heart, and when we had dinner the other night, he got very emotional when we started talking about me leaving, and he reached across the table and took my hands, and told me he loves me and doesn't want me to go. Then of course, on the other side of the coin, he openly flirts with the waiter and gets his phone number.
So what do I do? Am I "the boyfriend he has that he doesn't have sex with but provides the emotional support he doesn't get from anyone else?" Am I just a friend? Could he have feelings for me and not know how to say it? I know that this story has happened to MILLIONS of people, so I am hoping some of you might be able to shed light or offer suggestions on what you think might be the best solution, if there is one. Part of me so badly wants to confess how I feel, but the other part is terrified of damaging the friendship we have. And deep in my heart, I wonder if he secretly has feelings for me, but just doesn't know how to say it - or at least, that's the "romantic" in me.
Help? Advice? I don't stand a snowball's chance in hell?
As time went by, we started hanging out, and became good friends. We have similar personality types, find humor in the same things, and seemingly enjoy(ed) each other's company. I found out that he has a boyfriend (which I didn't know in the very beginning), and of course, I found this slightly disappointing, but again - we were friends, and nothing more.
As the months have progressed, my friend and I have gotten closer and closer. We hang out at least 3 days a week, and we talk via text or phone almost every day. If a day goes by where we don't talk in some form, he finds it weird and sad. His relationship with his boyfriend is falling apart (not because of me - we haven't slept together, I swear to god!), but for many other reasons, so he's going through that, and has found solace, I suppose, in our relationship as friends.
I openly admit that I have developed strong feelings for him over the months, none of which I have admitted to him. Depending on how smart he may or may not be, he may already be aware of these, but not saying anything as not to hurt me. He flirts with other guys (in my presence), yet is always cautious to say "Are ok with me flirting?" I of course smile and say "Who am I to tell you what to do?"
Then the problem of "mixed signals" comes in. He is always telling me, "I love you." He'll run his hands through my hair, or reach over and hold my hand as we walk down the street, or link arms with me. He'll come to my apartment and fall asleep on my bed and take a nap, and I don't wake him up. He has told me many many times how great I am, and how much he loves me and my company.
I am leaving New York soon as I have taken another job in another state. This is killing my heart, and when we had dinner the other night, he got very emotional when we started talking about me leaving, and he reached across the table and took my hands, and told me he loves me and doesn't want me to go. Then of course, on the other side of the coin, he openly flirts with the waiter and gets his phone number.
So what do I do? Am I "the boyfriend he has that he doesn't have sex with but provides the emotional support he doesn't get from anyone else?" Am I just a friend? Could he have feelings for me and not know how to say it? I know that this story has happened to MILLIONS of people, so I am hoping some of you might be able to shed light or offer suggestions on what you think might be the best solution, if there is one. Part of me so badly wants to confess how I feel, but the other part is terrified of damaging the friendship we have. And deep in my heart, I wonder if he secretly has feelings for me, but just doesn't know how to say it - or at least, that's the "romantic" in me.
Help? Advice? I don't stand a snowball's chance in hell?
