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Falling in love with a straight guy.

H

hphbp1821

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I'm falling in love with a straight guy. Guess I'm just looking for advice/support, although I expect I know what most of you are gonna say: "you're wasting your time, you're only gonna get hurt. move on"

anyway, i've liked this guy for a while, and for a while my friends and i thought he might be gay, or at least bicurious. one night we were hanging out and drinking and after enough beers i decided i'd bite the bullet and tell him i was gay. He was totally cool with it, but didn't say it back, and I figured if he was gay, he would have said so then. We've hung out a bunch since then, went Christmas shopping together and stuff, and he's totally cool about everything.

I know I should just give up, but for some reason I still get this vibe from him that he might be one of those guys who's curious, but would never admit it. I know what I should do, but I just can't seem to give up hope. Totally sucks that the only two guys i've ever felt this way about have both been straight, but, i suppose that's a pitfall of our kind.

Happy Holidays one and all.
 
You came out to him, he accepted. Now its his turn to leave the friendship as it is, or take it a step further. I wouldnt push any harder, cherrish the friendship as it is or you might destroy it.
 
You've made your move, you should probably just wait until he makes his or for one of those "right moments" to come along before you make another small move, like nudging him about his interests. I wouldn't try anything big, but then again I don't really know the whole situation.

Those straight guys... I fell for one too.
 
I too have the same problem with a guy from university.I don't know he is straight or gay and i'm too shy to admit it to him.But i like him very much.
 
Just because he didn't tell you that he's gay when you told him doesn't mean he's not gay. He could have personal issues with coming out or he might be too scared to deal with the [familial] consequences.
My advice is to be passive about it. Whatever happens will happen. Until then, it wouldn't hurt to continue your friendship as you're doing now.
 
Been there and done that...one I am still friends with after 20+ years...the other cant stand me...but that is how it goes...the fact that you came out to him and he is still friends with you should say a lot...it should say your friendship means more to him than your sexuality.
 
yep been there (read last paragraph if you dont care about the story, thats where the advice part is)

Well my story is a little different last year in highschool, I had this teacher, now he was one of those teachers that were really cool, but...he was a little odd...just little quirks about him, stuffed animals, wierd phrases and you know not a girly personality at all, but not really a manly one either. extremely hot :). He liked Dr. Suess and kept Dr. Suess stuffed animals and others things of that nature in his classroom, now if your gay, you'd probably think he was gay, if your straight, you might think he's a little "swing the other way" lol, but actually not really. Well he had a girlfriend all year long, and proposed to her toward the end of the school year.

Well thats when I was like..yeah he's definetly straight. Well I was like well maybe...maybe not...I dont know!...Ive come to the conclusion though he seems a little gay, hes most likely just a sraight guy, with some little quirks you know?

After he was engaged and I was pretty sure he was straight...well the feelings are really easy to supress, like completly everytime i think how hot he is the attachment of too bad hes straight always comes with it. Were still friends even after high school, he's like 31, but hes cool. Good friend, like my mentor almost, still gives me advice and guidence to this day. I wouldnt want it any other way at this point.

So Straight people I like? My personality, even I would want them SO BAD! why waste your time?, I think of it as trying to make me fall in love with a girl is equivilent to making them fall in Love with me
 
"you're wasting your time, you're only gonna get hurt. move on"
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If he's really straight, you've saved everyone a lot of time by answering your own question. Because we know that you would have enough respect for him (and yourself), not to try to impose something on him that just isn't in his nature. We also know that you're intelligent enough to know that he should be the one to make any moves if he's curious.

And by the way, it isn't a pitfall of 'our kind'. Straight women fall in love with them too.
 
I don't know he acts different when he's near me.He gets excited and starts to babble.Starting to talk about sexual stuff with me.
 
one night we were hanging out and drinking and after enough beers i decided i'd bite the bullet and tell him i was gay. He was totally cool with it, but didn't say it back, and I figured if he was gay, he would have said so then.
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Not necessarily. I have a friend that I've given every opportunity to come out, but he's only gone deeper in the closet, to the point that he's got a girlfriend now and everything. I wouldn't have even believed he was gay if he wasn't making moves on me and many of my guy friends. But you can't force people to come to terms with something they can't even admit to themselves. It's his loss, not mine.

If your friend ended up being gay, would you really want to waste your time waiting to find out? Even if he was making moves on you every five minutes; if he was just exploring or playing around; or if he was (or is) too chickenshit to take it up a level while aware that you'd be interested, then it's not worth it. It doesn't sound to me like you're even near that level of intimacy, so I'd certainly just leave it alone. It's not easy, but it's better off for you in the long run. You're worth more than that and you know it.
 
thanks you guys. i forgot to mention he's hooking up with this chick right now... but there's still a part of me that thinks deep down he might be bicurious
 
thanks you guys. i forgot to mention he's hooking up with this chick right now... but there's still a part of me that thinks deep down he might be bicurious
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All the more reason to leave it alone. If he wants to come to you, he will. He could be bi-curious and you could be right, but that doesn't change the current situation: he's with a girl.
 
Im in the same boat as you hphbp1821
only with my case I told him, he accepted and then I hit on him which was pretty profound for me, and he rejected me very harshly and now I am clueless about the whole thing.
 
I would just leave him alone if i was you. Your going to waste your time trying to get him to be magically gay and your going to be jealous of every girlfriend he gets.


You should just go out and find gay guys to be friends with.
 
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