Falling in love with my straight friend

[Callum]

You sound smitten, sure...but you have to know in your mind (and heart) that he will never and can never reciprocate those feelings of attraction. Straight friends are, well, straight -- they can be an object of affection but they will never be 'the one' for you. There's a fellow gay/bi guy out there for you somewhere.

 

[nycguydowntown]

We have all been there---be respectful of him and in time you'll get over it.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Been there a 100 times...

Your best bet is to start meeting, and hanging out with gay guys. This guy is more than likely never going to convert and feel the same way towards you as you do him. While I'm sure you do care for him, I'll also bet that what you're feeling is more Lust, Infatuation, Attraction, and perhaps a little obsession.

He's got some great qualities to desire in a guy, but are you really in love with HIM, or what he represents?
There are plenty of single, available, hot, funny... gay guys out there you could be chasing and have a lot better shot with.

 

[HunterM]

There are plenty of single, available, hot, funny... gay guys out there you could be chasing and have a lot better shot with.

^ Oh, thanks for the good word of mouth buddy...

Seriously, listen to him...

Your best bet is to start meeting, and hanging out with gay guys. This guy is more than likely never going to convert and feel the same way towards you as you do him.

The more people you meet and date...the more options you will have. The more fun life will be! Date guys who will return your love and affections.

 

[Ganoderma]

hi Mlthedescours,

First of all, welcome to JUB and good you have created an account. Your profile indicates that you are 19, and you have told us that you live in Denmark.

I was wondering why you don't set the step to tell your friend that you are a gay guy. I mean, how long you want to continue to live a life as a closet case? Denmark is, in general, not a homophobic country, so why not make obvious to other people around you that you are gay? Other gay guys can also more easy find you when you don't hide yourself.

I agree with the other posters that you should forget your feelings for this guy. He is Straight, and straight guys have such feelings for girls. You have a huge crush for a straight guy, and such crushes always lead to a dead end. I feel very sorry to tell you this, but that's how it is.

Do you have any idea about his thought about gay / bi guys?

I also agree with the other posters that you should start to get dating with gay guys and / or make gay friends, as that is a good way to try to forget your feelings for your friend.

Good luck and feel free to react and/or to ask additional questions.

Best wishes.

 

[cockbrain]

First, post pics so we can see how hot this dude is.
Second, tell him that you want him.
Third, Don't.

I've been there and have gotten to the sex part. But it wasn't worth it since sex ruined the friendship.

 

[Rolyo85]

This happens a lot to closeted gay guys. Believe it or not, your friend isn't your ideal guy. He's just a guy. But your mind has find a great mechanism for self-repression - crushing on a straight friend. Because that way you don't have to do anything. You don't have to come out, you don't have to confront the object of your desire (because you know he won't reciprocate), you can just pine and sigh from a comfortable state of doing nothing.

I know you don't feel this way, but you gotta admit you think your situation is tragically romantic. Well, trust me - it's not. What it is, is another roadblock to you growing into the man you can and should be.

And most of us have been there. For my part, I can say that once I came out completely, I stopped feeling anything remotely erotic or romantic toward my straight friends that I had previously pined after.

 

[yhtang]

How do I stop all of this? Is this infatuation or simply love? I know I want to get in his pants but I also want to wake up next to him every morning. I'm really depressed right now. It sucks when you're in love with somebody that you can never have. Help, I'm feeling like a worthlesss piece of shit and kinda suicidal

Alas, you will not be the first one in this situation and certainly will not be the last.

In the ideal world your friend will continue to love and respect you in the morning after a hot and torrid session of sex, but too often it does not happen.

It is painful to keep your feelings bottled up, but if you choose not to tell him of your love for him, you will survived. Many in your situation survived, and so will you. You are not a worthless piece of shit, please do not think that. You just happen to be a round peg trying to force yourself into a square hole. I am sure that, in time, a round hole will come along and you will fit in just fine.

And if you feel heartbroken right now, you will not be the first either. There is a song in English called, "First cut is the deepest" - it is, it hurts but we grow from it.

May all go well with you.

 

[Seasoned]

It's the closet that's causing this and you are torturing yourself. Come out to him. Start living an honest life. You deserve to be yourself and have friends and partners who, love and want you as much as you know, love and want them. Good luck to you.