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Family Drama! Expose the truth or back away slowly?

Blueboy369

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Hello Boys,
I need some advice. I have recently found out that my uncle, who owns a home with a few apartments, has been renting an apartment out to the woman who broke up my mothers first marriage many years ago. My parents have each remarried other people and this woman is my fathers ex. My father (and I use therm loosely) stayed close to my uncle and apparently has taken advantage of my uncles kindness and moved this woman and my half brother to my uncles home. I was also kept in the dark by my father (what a piece of work) and my favorite uncle for at least three years. This is my mothers favorite brother and the fact that he and my father have hidden this from us is very hurtful to me. They should have just said the truth from the beginning. My uncle can rent to anyone he pleases and doesn't need anyone's permission. The issue is in the lie and cover up of the situation. My dilemma is, do I tell my mother and risk damaging her relationship with her brother? My father is really the orcestrator of this "bag of shit". On a side note, my fathers ex has been nothing but kind to me and I care about her well being. She is not doing well health wise and my half brother is living there too. I don't want to rock the boat but no one is more important to me than my mother. I hate to feel like I'm keeping anyone's secret from her. It's a hard decision because I love all parties involved. Expose the truth and risk burning a bridge between my mother and her brother or back away slowly and not allow my fathers and uncles drama to affect my mothers life. Spare her feelings or spill the tea?
 
given that your parents are divorced, I don't really see who benefits by exposing the living arrangement.

if it were me, I'd file it away as "none of my business" and move about with my life.
 
given that your parents are divorced, I don't really see who benefits by exposing the living arrangement.

if it were me, I'd file it away as "none of my business" and move about with my life.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

What he said... :-)
 
I should add that my mother and I are very close. She is one of my closest confidants and we tell each other everything. My father blatantly lied to me and has left me feeling wounded and absolutely stunned. He asked my half brother not to say anything but my brother, sensing how much I would like to see them, finally came clean and told me the truth. I had no idea where my half brother lived for two or three years and all the while he was at my uncles place. After I gathered my thoughts my first instinct was to "stay out of it" but things have a way of getting out. If my mother, the most important person to me, finds out that I knew, she would feel as hurt by me, as I do, by my poor excuse of a father. One more side note, She lives out of town and has mentioned that if she came to visit she would probably stay at my uncles house. I don't have a close relationship with my father or uncle but my mother is everything to me.
 
Honesty without compassion is cruelty. Keep quiet. Most adults learn that some things need to be kept to themselves.
 
Keep quiet and if your mother finds out you knew, tell her you didn't tell her because you didn't want to cause her any anxiety over the issue. It is not any of your business at this point.
 
given that your parents are divorced, I don't really see who benefits by exposing the living arrangement.

if it were me, I'd file it away as "none of my business" and move about with my life.
^This.

- - - Updated - - -

Honesty without compassion is cruelty. Keep quiet. Most adults learn that some things need to be kept to themselves.

And most certainly this,good luck.
 
I disagree with the lack of honesty and I realize I am alone on this but it is the way I feel and so be it. Of course...you have to do what is right for you so let me ask you this...

You said you and your mom are close? I assume you both trust this relationship? So...imagine your mom keeping the fact that the guy you broke up your relationship was living with your uncle and moved in at the request of your ex? ...and your mom was having a great time with them and hiding it from you...pretending all along that you tell each other everything.

You trusted your relationship and then found out she was keeping it from you all along?

Would you be OK with that? If so...it is probably better NOT to say anything...if not...that is a decision only you can make.
 
These are some of the things adults like to keep to themselves. Not everything needs to be aired out. Sometimes women intentionally keep these things away and secret from their children. Does your mother know this already? - maybe. Is she keeping this fact from you? - maybe.

Leave it alone. No one on Facebook needs to know about this. It might be for the best.
 
Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. After cooling down I have decided to leave it alone as it really has nothing to do with me. I don't want to be the cause of any damage or cause anxiety to anyone involved. Thanks again! Now lets get back to more important matters..... like Sex!
 
Something I have learned from dealing with friends and family, if it doesn't effect me, I shouldn't care about it. Meddling in others' affairs that don't effect you is bad even if it's family.
 
Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. After cooling down I have decided to leave it alone as it really has nothing to do with me. I don't want to be the cause of any damage or cause anxiety to anyone involved. Thanks again! Now lets get back to more important matters..... like Sex!

Sex? Yes please :lol:
 
Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. After cooling down I have decided to leave it alone as it really has nothing to do with me. I don't want to be the cause of any damage or cause anxiety to anyone involved. Thanks again! Now lets get back to more important matters..... like Sex!

Sex? Yes please :lol:

It's cool you're from NYC :) what did you dress up as?
 
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