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Family Update/Week from Hell!

gmoney

tumbling...tumbling down!
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It's been one hell of a ride for me this week.

On Tuesday, I called in sick, after helping my little brother move on Sunday and throwing my back out at the same time. #-o

My father, who lives with me, (or me with him, depending on how you look at it), had his morning nurse visit to treat his foot wounds (long story), and noticed his blood pressure was once again, low. He takes medication for high blood pressure! She left and I went back to rest in my bed.

About an hour later, he calls for me to assist him to the bathroom. Just the short trip to the bathroom was exhausting, and he immediately went into a profuse sweat, and almost lost consciousness. I disrobed him enough to let him do his business and called 911.

After looking at the contents of the toilet, I saw he relieved himself of 50% fecal matter and 50% blood. This is when I really got scared! Thank goodness, the EMTs got there really fast. He had virtually no pulse or blood pressure when they arrived.

Long story short, he had been bleeding internally from improperly medicating himself for his foot wounds, unbeknownst to the rest of us.

Now, here we are.

He's getting better, but still extremely weak. We (us children) have decided to move him to a geriatric well center for nothing more than rehabilitation, so he can regain his strength and can, once again live at home, and be self-sufficient when he's there by himself.

Today, he told me that he's "very disappointed" in me for taking matters into my own hands and "putting him out to pasture". It wasn't easy hearing these words. My only concern is his well-being, and getting him well enough to be ABLE to come home! He's no longer sick enough to stay in the hospital, but not well enough to come home yet.

I hope the rehab goes well, and he can once again, be here in this home and irritate the shit out of me.

I guess my rant is done now. Just had to get this off my chest.
 
Wow, that is a bad week---(*8*)
 
Take a deep, cleansing breath Gary. Okay, now that the week is over, put it behind you without another thought. You did the right thing for your father. Time to concentrate on all the things he's gonna do that piss you off when he comes home. And, with good humor, be thankful that he's all right and still with you. :D
 
believe me on this, dealing with an ailing parent and making the sort of decisions you've had to make are never easy. professionally it is something i have to deal with on a daily basis.

your father is dealing with his anxiety in the only way he can at the moment and sadly you were the one to bear the brunt of it. you did the right thing in making sure that his health is first and foremost. once he's better you can bring him back home.

take care gary!
 
sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

stepping in and taking matters into your own hands is sometimes what friends are for.
 
gmoney, I'm glad to hear your dad is doing better and I hope he has a speedy recovery. That must have been a terrible scare for you and your family.

You have done everything solely for his best interest. When people are faced with dramatic changes like these, they can be overcome with fear. They often lash out at those who are closest to them. I'm sure your dad is wondering if the nursing home is only for rehab or permanent. He's also uncomfortable with the fact that he is not totally in control of his life. You did the right thing and he will realize that in time. Hang in there.

I hope your back is doing better.
 
Gary,

I am careful about saying the following words, but in this case, I can: I know how you feel. My Dad said virtually the same words to me after my Mom died and his autocratic ways and lifetime of being the big boss made him resentful of losing any of the power and control he felt were his divine rights, King that he was.

It is hard on you, I know. You did the right and the loving thing. Thank God you are willing to make those tough decisions. Role reversal is hard on anyone who experiences these changes, but it must eventually happen to all who live a long time.

I had to stop asking permission and instead, began to tell Dad what we were doing and going to do. We got along fine after that.
 
Today, he told me that he's "very disappointed" in me for taking matters into my own hands and "putting him out to pasture". It wasn't easy hearing these words.

Oh, Sweetie...

You *know* that's not true. You're doing everything you can to help him, please never forget that.

Keep in mind that when there is a very low blood pressure and a loss of blood the brain goes a little nuts and things come out of his mouth that he doesn't really mean.

If I had to guess, his glucose (blood sugar) is all over the place as well, and again...this makes people behave in a way they normally wouldn't.

Taking care of an aging parent is one of the hardest things we have to do in this life. So many conflicting feelings, so much to bear. We're left with the memory of how they used to be and the reality of how things are now, and it's nothing short of heartbreaking... And frustrating...

Try to take a moment to yourself and a deep breath and in that brief stillness know that you are doing the best that you can and that your Father truly loves you.
 
gmoney, it's such a good thing that you're strong enough to do this.

I'm sure your father will thank you for it, soon. And I'm hoping he's home soon too.
 
](*,)](*,)

Gary it sounds as if you handle things just perfectly. you acted when your judgment said to and the results show that you acted properly.

the idea of you dad going to a re=hab center to get back on his feet (pardon the pun) will be of great help to both of you.;)


eM.:(
 
It's the long haul that counts. Your dad will understand that when he is able to return home in a better place because of your actions.
 
Perhaps your father is just embarrassed he needs to be looked after. If he's too proud to admit he's not capable of looking after himself thats probably why he reacted as he did. Obviously deep down he's grateful you were there for him at his time of need.
 
Gary, you did the right thing by him, despite his protests. I'm looking after an elderly parent too, and they have their cranky moments. I guess he is resisting the changes to his independence, tooth and nail. Whilst he's rehabilitating, you ought to try and find some own rest time, in between the visits. (*8*)
 
...he told me that he's "very disappointed" in me for taking matters into my own hands and "putting him out to pasture."...

gmoney

You made the right choice........I wish you and your family "Good Health"........​

Yuki

Title: Good Health
Artist: Yuan Lee

293905.jpg
 
gmoney, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I speak from experience because I had to do the same thing with my Mom.......
Don't worry about what your Dad says....I'm sure he is grateful to have a son who can "step up to the plate" and do what is best for him. It's a hard adjustment for him (and you) to have the roles of life reversed.

I hope he continues to improve and can get home soon!
 
It seems as though when he took matters into HIS own hands, he very nearly killed himself. And how disappointed would you be in that?

You've done the right thing.

Lex
 
gmoney,

It seems like there could be a number of things that are going wrong, so it may continue a while before it clears up. I hope they got it and it heals well.

You are a good son even if dead old pops does not appreciate it.
I hope I do not ever do that to my children, but I will have to wait and see, but first, I could not get that by my partner.


Shep+ (*8*):kiss:!oops!
 
You did absolutely the right thing, and it took a lot of balls to do that.

You are a wonderful person and a fine son.

When dad comes to his senses, he will probably brag to others about your actions.
 
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