I have been having vivid dreams lately, some of them involving myself and my father, and they're mostly sexual. The last one involved me rimming him at some building and jacking him off in a car while he was driving. Some aspects were odd about the dream in addition to that but I won't say what.
There have been some moments in my life involving him that were a little erotic. Before we got a new house after my parents split, we shared a bed in the basement of his mom's house. My dad sleeps in his underwear and I think I did at that time too. We shared a blanket and sometimes would talk until we fell asleep. One time when we were watching TV, he put his arms around me and kind of held onto my chest, but not in a total sexual manner. I felt a little uncomfortable with it, so he stopped. When we did get our own place, I remember a time where he was only in shorts on the couch. I was sitting on his stomach, talking to him, when all of a sudden I touched both of his nipples and moaned in a sexual way, and he got mad and threw me on the floor. My dad is straight obviously and is homophobic to an extent.
I've seen him naked a few times in my life, he has a big penis and a big ass. He used to be a maintenance worker at the hospital I was born in and had to wear this beige and brown uniform, and the pants would hug him in all the right places. My dad was promiscuous with women back then and I'd hear all the stories about his sexual encounters. Sometimes I though, that I wished he would've done me like he done all those women. I know how taboo it is, but for some reason, I can't shake the sex dreams about him and the urge to perform oral on him and have anal sex with him. My dad is 48 now and is in decent shape (he has been working out to get a fitter body after the years of junk food and beer). Not sure what to make of the dreams or what to do.