Favourite answers to not-so-stupid questions?

[gsdx]

Rose Nylund: "Dorothy, can I ask a stupid question?"
Dorothy Zbornak: "Better than anyone else I know, Rose."

I was just opening my front window for the day and saw the moon hanging over the building across the street. It made me think of a not-so-stupid question I had seen in one of those question/answer newspaper columns many years ago and the answer which was given. I thought it might be interesting (and maybe even fun) to read about your favourite questions and answers.

Here's mine:

Q: "Why can I see the moon during the daytime?"
A: "Why not? It's there, isn't it?"

 

[Horschallen]

Here is an old one from my childhood...

Why did this person get fired from an orange juice factory? Because he could not concentrate.

 

[G-Lexington]

I was at the shopping mall back in the 80s. They had one of those food courts, where you could choose from one of several restaurants and eat in the common area between them. A young child, obviously perplexed by how the employees got behind the counters, asked his mom something.

Q: How do they get out of there?
A: They go to college, sweetheart.

Lex

 

[gsdx]

^ Now that was funny!

 

[momp57]

After being asked repeatedly if my pet Pot Bellied Pig was a pig, I began replying "No, it's a Chihuahua with a gland problem".

 

[Apollo]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whbwv2ZirjY[/ame]

 

[landers]

Coworker: My computer isn't working.
Me: That's because you haven't turned it on.

 

[BINOWGAYLATER]

well, if it's stupid riddle questions you want -
How do you know if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
There are footprints in the butter.
BAH !

 

[Alpha1851]

Alpha: The sound on my laptop won't work. What's wrong w/ it?

Techie: Did you check to see if it's on mute?

Alpha: I'm not stupid. Of course, I made sure the sound was on.

Techie: Did you check the volume? See if it was turned up?

Alpha:

 

[josher]

One of the oldest:

A man walks up to another man on a street in Manhattan:

Q: How do I get to Carnagie Hall?

A: Practice, practice, practice!

 

[ozguy]

Once, when I was checking in at the airport, I asked the check-in attendant what kind of plane I was flying in, to which he replied: "An aero plane!"

 

[Guy89]

Once, when I was checking in at the airport, I asked the check-in attendant what kind of plane I was flying in, to which he replied: "An aero plane!"

That made me laugh just a little.

 

[quasar]

When I was in theatre, you'd be amazed at how many times patrons would ask my staff,

"Is that programme for tonight's show?"

With people I knew fairly well I often used to butt in and say,

"No, its from last weeks show, but I had a few left over so I thought I'd sell them off cheap!"

 

[Corny]

In court:

L = Lawyer, D = Doctor

L: Do you remember the precise time of the autopsy
D: Around 8:30
L: Was the victim dead at this time?
D: No, he was sitting on the table and wondering why I am doing an autopsy!

The lawyer ignores that and just goes on.

L: Doctor, when you started the autopsy, did you take the pulse?
D: No.
L: Did you measure the blood pressure?
D: No.
L: Did you check his breath?
D: No.
L: So is it possible, that the victim was still alive while you were doing the autopsy?
D: No.
L: Doctor, how can you be so sure?
D: Because his brain was in a jar next to my table.
L: So would you say it was still possible that he was alive despite that?
D: Yes, yes .. maybe he was still alive despite his brain being in a jar on my table, probably he was somewhere working as a lawyer!

That reply resulted in a $3000 fine for the Doctor.
He paid without raising a brow.

 

[FPNY]

q.excuse me did you just fart?

a. of course i did, do you think I always smell like that?